For Paradize

Today I worked off site, which meant I had to work in the same room as my dad, it was quiet a strange experience. I basically tried to avoid him as much as possible, which is quiet difficult in such a small office. I picked my big boss up from the station he seemed in a good mood and was heading for a meeting at one of the customers in the afternoon. He never actually spoke to me which pretty annoying, guess Ill have to see what next month brings.

It was the budget today probably Browns last. According to the bbc I will end up being about £20's richer, wonderful!

You know some people just don't gel, they can be perfectly interesting and reasonable but put together they just react or fail to mix. I spent my evening in this sort of situation, I was sober and tried to calm down several conversations so now I feel frustrated and tired.

Pull it to pieces

I have just been looking for houses, I find it pretty confusing. So many people are telling me I should buy something anything just to "get on the ladder". My colleagues think I am a like a child still living at home, P actually told me that I should move out and rent I have no idea about the world. I really find that impossible thought I would hate to fatten the pockets of someone like Nick just to prove some sort of point about independence.

That said I do feel a desire to prove myself, to be independent and not so lazy, at the same time I worry I am being to conditioned by society to do certain things to conform whereas some of the most successful go there own way. As soon as I move out I might have an asset in the form of a home but I lose my ability to save, my ability to travel and to be free. I would gain a lump of bricks which might or not appreciate in value, but will definitely cost money.

I went to the pub with Phil tonight his brother is in the process of buying a place but he is a success having built up his own business, not just a company man like myself. I am in a terrible mood today, I argued with people at work, my mum laughed at the idea that I could move out and ebay is really annoying me. In fact e-bay have now closed my account thanks to a long running sore, they messed up applied a wrong charge to my aaccount. They promised me a refund on several occasions but didn't deliver, now they have then suspended my account. I wish I knew what to do on principle I refuse to pay for there mistake, but they have a monopoly on auction services in the UK there customer services is terrible and unforgiving, it makes me angry to think about it.

I am seeing my real boss tomorrow for the first time in a while I am hoping I can address some of my problems with him, I really feel like I need a change and if I cannot get one its time to move on. What I can move on to is debatable though, perhaps a total change to something new is needed.

Eyes - Rouge Wave

I started the day feeling happy and optimistic, I had a really great weekend spent with my friends kicking back and enjoying myself. Unfortunately somewhere in the soul destroying futility of work most of my good mood was dispelled. I am not sure whether the people I work with think its fun to bring each other down or just have no idea how destructive it is to constantly pressure, undermine and belittle people.

I escaped to the gym. During my cardio session I had plenty of time to think, even thought a friend told me I think about things far to much. Ruminating on life without really living it sometimes. Perhaps she is correct, or maybe I am just normal trying in the best way I can find to live. The trouble is I haven't got the answers, and nobody else has either. I have been given so many pieces of advice by different people with different agendas, it makes my head spin sometimes just thinking about the possibilities. There is so much I want to do yet I am no closer to anything tangible, I just need to make some choices for good or ill.

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Whilst messing about I found a nice add in for Firefox users who like a bit of colour in their lives, colorful tabs spices things up.

Lies damn lies and statistics

Have you ever wondered about the figures quoted? I just read this article. I found it intriguing that MS supremo Steve Ballmer used such incredibly self serving figures clearly to distort the real data.

Red Light Green Light

It was St PatriK's last night so a great excuse to go out with friends and drink copious amounts of Guinness. As we had so much fun there last year, we decided to head to the Kings Arms in Wilmslow.

Martin was proudly showing off pictures of his stupidity, he managed so shower yogurt all over his car, moral make sure the cap is fastened before vigorously shaking ;)

Martin, Phil Endo and Myself were first to the pub quickly joined by Bruce and Nina, then Adam and girlfriend Steph. We managed to captive the snug and sat talking eating and drinking. Martin Endo and Phil still had Guinness hats from last year and with it being the drink of choice it wasn't long before we all looked like merchandising gurus for the company. I really wish I had remembered my camera it would have made for some funny shots.

The Kings arms is a friendly old traditional style pub with an attached Thai restaurant next door. This was particularly great as you can order snacks from the restaurant, so rather than crisps you can have chicken wings prawn crackers or Chicken skewers.

I have a very enjoyable evening, people were in a happy mood, the bar staff were welcoming and the Thai food made for very enjoyable tapas style eating.

Ghouls and Ghosts

Work was pretty good today, it was dress down in aid of comic relief and the ICT department all went out for a Chinese banquet as a hello to the new project manager Roshine. It was the most relaxed day in ages so a welcome break form the norm.

In the evening I sacked off the gym headed out to the Rampant Lion with Berger and Ian for a few pints. Then it was on into China town for a meal to celebrate Emily's birthday. It has been a long time since I last ate in China town so it was quiet exciting. We went into Pan Asia a restaurant which served up cuisine from China, Japan, Thailand and Indonesia. I had a Chinese starter of Praw Toast seaweed a meat samosa and spring roll. My main course was Japanese style fried cod with rice and salad, it was very good and I even managed to use the chopsticks to a little.

Emily looked happy she got some nice presents including some rather fetching wellingtons (for the festivals this year). I had difficult speaking to anyone really managed to be sandwiched between the table and a post so it was a little uncomfortable.

To make matters worse sat opposite were the crying girl we met at Emily's party a few weeks ago. She confirmed my view that she is an incredibly high maintenance girlfriend. She sat eating mushrooms declaring it would make her sick then after the meal started talking about how sick she felt. To mind mind it was a deliberate tactic to gain attention the sort of trait that really annoys me, I have no idea how her boyfriend puts up with it.

Ian was driving and took us (Emily and Andy grabbed a lift) back on what must have been the most bizarre route I have ever encountered. He followed a diversion and ended up driving right out into east Manchester towards Failsworth before hooking us round back past the city of Manchester stadium, through the slowest traffic lights ever then finally back into Fallowfield. Given the late hour of the meal and the amount of time touring Manchester we decided to call it a night.

For Reasons Unknown

I have been a bit lax on the old blog's recently, partly because I have been busy, but mostly because I am lazy ;) I finally finished the Idiot on Wednesday, it was a great book but ended in such a sad way.

I have started reading Sun Tzu the Art of War, which teaches the art of defeating an enemy possibly without actually fighting. I only just started but its only a short text so hopefully I will soon be able to win many battles. According to the preface its actually tied closely into Taoist thinking, in that an enlightened general is the ideal commander able to bend to the changing circumstances.

Wednesday evening I went to the gym with Martin, then relaxed at home. Last night I went for a cardio session at the gym tried to do 5km in 25minutes and failed miserably. You need to run at 12km/h to do 5km in 25 minutes I only managed about 5 minutes at that speed . In the end reached just over 4km running at 10.5 km/h.

I spent the rest of the evening working on Ian's new site layout I made a minor breakthrough so now I am much closer to having a new template.

What Can I Do

Today was a strange day, a new project manager coordinator started at work [for the customer]. This is the third one since I have been there, hopefully she will last better and be less annoying.

I managed a 60 minute 9.3KM run very good for me but rather put into the shade by a colleague who is entering the London marathon for the second time. Oh well I guess a few years ago I struggled to make 12 minutes walking never mind jogging. In life the only really competition is oneself, everyone else is running a different race. I have nearly got to the end of the Idiot. It has been a difficult thought rewarding book to read. The characters are so well drawn and the self examination makes me examine some of my own feelings and ideas.

This evening I spoke to a Czech girl who contacted me on icq after a brief conversation about shopping she seemed very keen too tell me escorts didn't get paid enough unless they rather literally sold their asses. It was rather a surreal conversation with someone I know no further that a few lines of text on the screen but never mind was a rather weird conversation.

Went for a drink at the thieves with Nick, Jono, Phil and Bruce, it was very busy some sort of quiz going on. Nick looked so tired he was virtually dropping asleep at the table we were say at. It was good to see him but I worry about how much work he takes on. Perhaps its because I am lazy and would never be able to tackle the same. It sounded like Bruce was bumping into some sort of trouble with his house purchase I think its only a small matter but annoying never the less. The owner is basically trying to squeeze more revenue out of the current tenants before Bruce takes over, at bBruce's expense. I would be wound up by it too.

Where do old computers go to die

I have been given two old computers play with, an Atari ST 520 and an Acorn A3020 I have yet to exactly work out what I am going to do with them as yet. I am used to own several Acorns and hope to have a play with this one see it I cant find a use for it, as for the ST I never had one and have never used one so I just wanted to have a play.

I had a major falling out with my parents this morning, I just wanted some quiet time but my dad had other plans, so I cleaned my room spent some time on right move then went to the gym to relive my frustrations. I really think after I get back from China I am going to put my efforts into finding something for myself, I don't think I can wait another few years, and I want to be out before I am thirty.

I watched Lost in the evening with Bruce and Phil, its really descended to a shadow of its former self but is still watch able, just about. I find I no longer care about the characters anymore, I have no care if Jack Kate Lock or Sawyer die this episode or the next or live forever. A sad state of affairs for a show which was so gripping in its first series.

Wii Mii

Today was a bit of a write off had a few little jobs to like sorting out Nicks internet and fixing the bathroom lights. So I was looking forward to a night relaxing.

I had already agreed some time ago to at go round to Berger's and play some poker. As a rule I don't play ever since an unfortunate night in France. I had also been invited out by Endo. It was his girlfriend Jo's not-birthday, they [Endo Jo, Martin, Charlotte, Bruce, Nina, and Phil] were all heading to the spicy hut for a curry. I had a quick drink and chat early doors before heading off to Berger's. Everyone seemed in a good mood except for Martin who decided to be rather aggressive about the fact I wasn't staying. We arranged to do something for St Patrick's day next week, I guess it ill involve drinking Irish whiskey and
Guinness :-)

I made it to Berger's around 8.15, I was expecting the poker and drinks instead Berger's neighbour Carlos had brought round his Nintendo Wii. What a fun device the controllers really make for some new games. Nintendo have at least with the Wii sports pack put together a load of fun games like golf tennis and boxing which you can basically pick up the controllers and start playing you don't really need to put much thought in at all. Boxing actually had me sweating after three rounds sparing against Jo! I also like the idea of the Mii characters, Carlos and his girlfriend had both designed their own mini Miis, makes it a lot more funny to be able to play games as yourself. I think that after I get back from China and have some money against I will have to get myself one it was just so much fun. It was a fun evening of games certainly made a change from the norm.

Parklife

The customer went to the dogs tonight I had never been to a race before either dogs, horses, bikes, or anything. So it was a pretty new experience. The price was pretty good too, £5 got us entry, 2 drinks, 2 x £2 bets and a meal voucher.

I had been a little worried about gambling I have a pretty addictive character and have had problems in the past. Like betting on crazy shares, but that is another story. Fortunately the minimum bet is £2 and with only 14 races and two free bets its pretty easy to keep things interesting without it getting silly. Though some of the people there took it all a lot more seriously.

I must say having money riding on the races, and the whole process of choosing chatting about and betting makes the evening a lot more interesting. I managed to get a couple of wins in but overall lost money (only a small amount fortunately). I am not really sure how the betting all works I always put on my money on a dog to win, the only guy I knew who made a profit was playing spread bets, betting on two dogs coming in. This tactic greatly improved his odd so that on one race he won £31 the omst 5 won was £4. Given my predilection for things that are bad for me its probably not a good I dea to learn how it all works least I get swept up ;)

I drove, with the track being in Belle Vue it would have been expensive to get a taxi. This was also meant I could not get drunk and go mad betting, a win win situation. I offered to give a lift back to another guy I work with who lives a few minutes away. Annoyingly a few other people basically hijacked me for a lift, ok it was only 10 minutes away but in the wrong direction, so before I knew it 10 minutes because twenty and it took nearly an hour to get home.

It was definitely a fun night out, different and quiet exciting I am certainly glad to have gone.

PNAC

Sail away

I read on bbc news today that because of Manchester's low growth rate economists believe the city will drop down the city rankings based on GDP from 73 to 82 over the next 15 years. It seems amazing that the city at the heart of the Industrial Revolution has become stuck as a regional backwater overtaken by most of the rest of the world. Is it because all the talent is sucked down into London? Or maybe its poor decisions by the central government cripple the infrastructure and destroy investment in the city?

Nothing much happening

Somehow I am busy busy seem to have so many projects on the go but so far very little to show. Bruce and I have managed to finally get some action on Server room. We found some excellent software to manage the new server and hopefully it can go in this soon. I have been trying to update Ian's site There is nothing new just yet but keep watching I have been tweaking the CSS and hopefully if I can just find a good way of formatting it correctly there should be some updates soon. Work has been hectic too so much going on there some good some bad some insanity.

I went to the gym with Martin again today, I did my weights while he had a cardio workout. My arms ache now, his shoulder is a lot better he is able to lift his arm up and nearly has a full range of movement.

I was only at home for an hour this evening but it was enough to get frustrated, my parents just don't get it that I need my own space and independence. Just because staying here is the sensible thing to do doesn't make it desirable. I am ashamed of myself and tired of peoples comments, I can never feel successful living in my parents garage, apologising to people for my failures it a joke. So I headed out for a drink with Bruce, he got promoted today which is great news. I wasn't very good company though sometimes I feel like my friend success I just reflects my failures more strongly. I read another chapter in the idiot last night I think I am Ganya after all, a totally ordinary person who longs to have something original about them, smart enough to realise I am not original but not smart enough to do anything about it, all very depressing.

Hot Fuzz

After spending a rather frustrating day trying adn failing to sort Ians website out, stupid html / css makes it very hard to place images dynamically despite its best intentions.

I went to see the new Simon Peg film Hot Fuzz. The film is about a top London officer Nick Angel (Pegg) who after showing all his colleagues up is "promoted" to the sleepy town of Sandford. Full of cultural references and clever humour coupled with some rather Tarentino esque ultra violence its a funny, light hearted take on the buddy cop film genre. My personal favourite laugh out loud moment was Pegg vaulting a fence to fly kick a shotgun wielding octogenarian.

Total eclipse of the moon

Today Bruce and I finally kicked the second server into life. It has been a nightmare getting the server to run so many things have gone wrong which has made me almost scared to do anything with it. However a final big push has seen Debian and vhcs. VHCS is a control panel to allow Server Room customers to manage their own sites a lot better. I am so far very impressed with how well it works, I think it will simplify the running of the sites greatly and allow a much better user experience.

This evening there was to be a lunar eclipse, so myself Bruce, Phil, Phil's brother Jim and friend Pub decided to go out into the hills of Macclesfield to watch. After a couple of beers we headed out to the Cat and Fiddle pub the second highest in the UK, in the hope of a better less light polluted sky. Unfortunately we arrived to find the pub shut up, so in the knowledge that the real event wasn't taking place until after 23:00 Bruce drove us to a rather provincial pub in Buxton called the Duke of Earl. The pub was very strange, it felt a bit like a working mans club, I guess not much happens in Buxton. There was even a women with a hook where her hand should have been. I think we were all glad to get out of there.

We made our way back into the hill, the mood was by now in eclipse form. It was an impressive sight, looking very red, though quiet small. Jim had his SLR and was trying to take photos, though he found it hard to aim at a dark and faraway object in the night sky. It was also bitterly cold on top of the hills, even in a jacket scarf and hat I felt the chill.

Midnight show

I must be getting old, Friday night and I am already back home at 23:20. I went out for a few quiet beers with Bruce and Phil we all felt so tired though instead of going on anywhere we departed at the call of time.

To be honest it has been a busy week. Work has been manic and I have gone to the gym 4 of 5 evenings. I only missed Tuesday thanks to Japanese class. Tonight I went with Martin. He still cannot drive after his shoulder op. So in extra motivator I went and picked him up so he could do some cardio work whilst I did my leg weights. It was quite fun like the old days when we were both well into training. He seemed to enjoy his workout, though I was disgusted when he wrung out his arm support it wasn't very nice.

I think to an extent the gym has paid off for me I am certainly thinner now that I have been training for a ling time. Check out this picture from 2003, compared to last week I look a lot more trim (I think). I still a lot of work to do though. I would love to be able to, just once be able to look in the mirror and smile rather than cry, hopefully another year and I will have be pretty close to achieving that.

Quote of the day

Found a wonderful website for quotations

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
- C. A. R. Hoare

White Rabbits

Ah the first day of March, cold raining and dark. I forgot the to say "white rabbits" so that's another month of bad luck, sigh.
Work is mega busy its coming to the end of the financial year so people need so much work in preparation its very tiring.

I went shopping after the gym bought myself a new duvet and pillow as my cat managed to get my old one flea ridden. He might be 20 no but his capacity to cause problems is undimmed. I followed the advice from Phil and Bruce, buying myself an orthopaedic pillow to help my back problems. I'll tell you if it makes any difference!

This evening Ian popped round for a few beers and to take a look at some computer problems. He has given me a load of information to add to his website and we started investigating googles ad word system and whether it could add any value to Zanshin.

ISA Season

As the current financial year ends in April I have been attempting to sort out a few financial things. I am big on savings at the moment, its the only way I can see myself ever affording a house. I have found that the most effective way for me to save is to use my individual savings account privileges (ISA). Currently all UK citizens over 16 can save upto £7000 into an ISA account each year.

Even though they were intended as a simple savings vehicle, a lot of people get a bit confused about ISA's. The ISA is like a wrapper which can go round a range of accounts, anything from cash to bonds to stocks and shares can be held inside one. The government are a little fussy about how it works you can save upto £3000 in cash and an additional £4000 in equities. Alternatively you can pump the lot into equities.

There are two really great things about using ISA's. The first is that you don't have to pay tax like normal savings accounts. This means all the interest is paid gross. The second great reason is you never have to pay capital gains on the growth, though this is more geared towards stock market investments.

In my case save using both cash and equities. The equity part is in the form or Unit trust investments, I save money each month investing into the index tracker funds and various bond funds.

In short for taxpayers who save its pretty much a no brainer that using an ISA is highly effective way to save. So don&'t delay, act before April in order to get this years allowance.

Remember though I am not an accountant, so as ever don't take my advice do your own research ;)

Japanese html

I seem to have found a way to get unicode Hirigana fonts by using the escape codes from www.alanwood.net/unicode/hiragana.html. While hardly pretty its a functional method using standard html escape characters understood by just about all modern browsers (I have not tried in Links yet ;-)

ここわ

Got a weird Chinese email from this morning wishing me good luck don't know who the sender was pretty weird spam though. I needed good luck today work was very trying lots of little jobs are dragging me down. I helped find the solution to a complicated long term issue, though someone else stole the credit and then a long term problem (its been wrong for years) suddenly jumped to the top of the priority list, sigh.

I had a Japanese class after work. In all honesty I was completely unprepared having done literally no practice since the last class two weeks ago. Fortunately I was far from the only one, and seemed able to get back up to speed pretty quickly. A guy a work with was telling me his nephew has been in Japan for 3 years teaching English. Apparently he barley knows any Japanese and survives on English. I would love to work in Japan for a while experience another culture, but not teaching I doubt I have the patients.

I went out for a drink with Bruce and Philip this evening, they are both doing well. Phil is just about over his flu virus and Bruce's house purchase is going well. I am hoping in the not to distant to get invited to the house-warming ;)

Tell it like it is

Being woken up after a night out and only a few hours sleep on the floor of someone one else's house is not fun. So I was far from impressed that after going to bed after I was woken by loud knocking on the door at 8.10am. At first I thought it was the police given the insistence and tone of the knocking. After the third foray Ian got up and opened the door Michelle walked in asked where the party was and headed upstairs. Some 40 minutes later she was gone Woller went not long after. while I understand there are some issues she had no reason to be so rude to the rest of us and perhaps coming to talk when Woller had work was either very poor timing or very calculated. I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and say poor timing after a boozy night.

Ian was king enough to give Paul and myself a lift back even though he was in a hurry to get to a job in London, he made time. It was my mums birthday so I wished her well and spent the rest of the day chilling in my room. Paul came round in the afternoon for a chat, he was showing me some of the potential candidates for his band, he is very excited and enthused about the project I cannot wait to see the band playing live.

I ended the day by going for a quiet drink with Bruce and Phil, the latter having finally got over his flu infection. They were both on form but I must admit my mind was in a bit of a haze.

Barracuda Nights

As Danny intoned on his blog, we have fewer opportunities to get out as a group these days. Certainly not so often as we used to back in the college / university era. Though I tend to disagree with his assertion that the lower frequency is a sign of increasing age. I think it is more a factor of the diverse ways in which we live our lives. I have a standard 9-5 (well 9 - 5.30 but lets not split hairs) however Woller works shifts and Ian has odd hours depending on what jobs he is on. Add into the mix the fact we a more geographically diverse and it make for a more difficult night out scenario.

Anyway, Saturday night was the first chance in a while for us all to go out as a group, Woller had kindly offered his floor, and Paul was up from Leamington. The consensus was to meet early head to Macclesfield, go for a bite to eat then head into Macclesfield town centre. Ian and I met up with Dan and Paul in Graze Bramhall (see below) for a 6pm early doors drink. We then convoyed down to Wollers, making a quick takeaway beer pit-stop.

Ian, Paul and Danny sat in Graze Bramhall

After a short break for beer, and for Craddy to have a shave and sort himself out we headed to the Flowerpot for some pub grub. When it finally arrived the food wasn't too bad, and refreshed and in high spirits we headed into Macclesfield proper.

First we headed to Weatherspoons for a cheeky red bull and vodka, the atmosphere was a little oppressive so we quickly drank up and left. Heading next to Barracuda, via the cash machines. The queue for Barracuda was huge, and we had to wait alongside the a group of college students. They did make me feel old. After what seemed like hours, though it was more like 20 minutes, we made it into the venue, unable to stash our coats as the clock room was full we found a booth to continue the banter and drinking.

It was a very funny period we were ogling some extremely attractive girls until Danny spoiled it by behaving far too conspicuously, never mind the night was still young. Spotting a better table we upgraded, and decided it was time for a shooter, so Ian got us some Sambuka's.

I was feeling quiet drunk at this point and we wanted to get up and have a dance with some of the pretty young things on the dance floor. Unfortunately we still had our coats, so we decided to go upstairs find a secluded area and dump them in the hops no-one would steal them. We found a table right up in the gods, and stashed our gear there then headed to the dance floor. About this time Woller's girlfriend and her friends came into Barracuda after on some sort of works night out. A groups of us hit the dance floor and the DJ played some superb old school hits I remember from going out as a under-age kid in the 90's. I danced like a loon totally enjoying myself, my styles however original failed to impress the ladies so I took a break after 20 minutes.

A few bad things happened next, Michelle lost her purse, Dan's coat disappeared and Woller and Michelle had a bit of a spat. It was 1am the place was shutting so in order to give Woller some time to sort things out Dan Ian Paul and I went for a kebab. I had a rather tasty chicken affair, the only downside being that the sauce was prone to drip everywhere.

We got a taxi back to Woller's house, and waited for the man to arrive, about 30 minutes later. Then a couple more beers a bit of a chat and a round of sonic and we got to sleep about 5am.

Ian Myself Danny and Paul

Mmm Birthday curry

It is my mothers birthday on Sunday so we went out for a meal this evening. My grandma comes round on Sundays so it would be difficult to go out. My mothers friend Kath also came along to wish her a happy birthday.
True to form we headed to our favourite curry house the La Quila in Handforth. I had a chicken tika sizzler, with Jalfresi sauce and it was simply delicious. Mum seemed to enjoy herself a lot and had a good chat with Kath. She is going to buy herself some hiking boots and start going walking with Kath more often, which I think will be great for the pair of them.

Cool as f*ck

Phil just pointed out this wonderful news artical about Swiss farmers doping their cattle. Apparently the farmers belever "the active ingredient in cannabis, THC, makes cows happy and produce more milk". It reminded me of the old Inspiral Carpets, they had a T-Shirt which had a logo of a twisted cow with the slogan "Cool as Fuck".

Smart Transport why bother

I got very annoyed with the government today, considering that the city council in Manchester want to introduce variable price taxation, the so called congestion charge.

Apparently they would prefer that we all got the train or bus everywhere, well here are some reasons why not.

A colleague lives in the Prestwich area of Manchester, near to one of the Metro stops. As an experiment he tried to find out how much it would cost him to get he metro and train on a monthly basis. Estimating a monthly fule and parking bill of £120 we looked up some pricing.

The GMTPE website was useless it couldn't even figure out the the best way was to use a Metro on the journey planner. The prices were only on a daily basis and basically said ring here for monthly. Only because the Metro dosn't come under the same umbrella as the railway the pricing is weird. For one did you know if you want to travel part of the journey outside of Manchester you cant buy a train ticket that works on the metro? As Wilmslow is outside the Greater Manchester area it meant he would have to buy a rail season ticket and an unsubsidised Metro one, costing way more than his current expenditure.

What a farce on the one hand the government is constantly telling us to use public transport. However it leave the pricing system incoherent and disconnected from the ways in which people need to travel.

Lux Aeterna

I think I might have realised why I like the idiot so much. I think I might just be a little too much like the Myshkin character. Prone to long bouts of self reflection, check. Get lost in though sometime unable to concentrate on what other people say because so much is going on inside, check. Prone to make statements far too revealing, honest and at times naive, check. Oh dear it appears the questionnaire I filled in which said I was most probably bi polar and should seek assistance now might have been correct. Unfortunately I cannot claim to be as virtuous as the man himself, I guess I hope I fall somewhere in between him and the vain yet unfulfilled Ganya. One of the strongest features of the book other then Dostoevsky dark versus light is that both good bad, and indifferent people strive for the same things in life (though for different reasons). In this case Myshkin, Ganya and Rogozhin all chase after Nastasya.

Reading the book I was reminded of a conversation I overheard at work one of the staffers was talking about another in quiet unfavourable terms due to his lack of success with women. I took exception to this for too reasons first because I believe the author of the criticism to be a hypocrite of the highest order. You see I have it on authority that he regularly plays away from his wife and family, something I think is utterly despicable either. If someone lacks the emotional courage to leave something that dosn't work, or feel they don't have enough with their partner that something else cant hurt obviously has rather deep emotional problems. If something is worth making a commitment to you should be able to make the choice and visa versa, that is in fact one reason why I have ended several relationship because I never want to feel locked into something going nowhere. To me its is a feeling much worse than being alone.

On an unrelated note I bought the requiem for a dream soundtrack it was on offer and I have always loved some of the tracks. It basically classical music by Clint Mansell a modern composer. A lot of the tracks are done several times in different styles reflecting the darkening of the film as the cast fall deeper into their drug addiction.

Unlink a symbolic link

Had problems deleting a symbolic link to a directory today. That was until I found out about the "unlink" command. Just typing the following,

unlink symlink

Should remove the symlink in situations in which rm wont.

Fake Steve

Was just reading Weird online and found they have partnered with Fake Steve Its a bit weird but not a bad parody.

Vision of division

Today was a day of mixed emotions, I have been feeling very restless lately, I am a little stuck in a rut. A lot of my plans require a large amount of time to come to fruition though so maybe things are going ok. I could sure use a couple of shortcuts to success though! It is Ash Wednesday today, the start of lent. A traditional time of reflection and abstinence. I seem to spend my life reflecting at the moment so maybe I should try the latter and abstain from something.

I saw this crazy post on Slashdot. Its a perfect example of the sort of problem I have to put up with. The programmers at my company fall into three camps, those who think programs should handle bad data. Those that think programs crashing highlight bad data which we can then be fixed. The other groups are ambivalent on the issue.

In my opinion humble though it may be, data should be handled gracefully. Programs crashing out just serves to annoy users and whilst it highlights problems with the data it annoys the end user and can be a problem if there are no developers on site to sort it out. I am going to make a point of peppering code with error handling and input validation because I am tired of the same old bad data errors.

I was telling someone about my cat tonight, they refused to believe he is 20 years old. Its true though, we got him and his late brother when I was 7 years old and at primary school. He has been on a special diet and having regular injections for several years now I guess it goes to show that a proper diet really does extend life. Mind you I am not going to start eating his food anytime food, even if a doctor recommended it.

I spoke to one of my net friends this evening we were talking about relationships, she keeps complaining all her boyfriends are wasters, she cant find anyone nice. I pointed out she got bored quickly with nice guys preferring bad boys, so it was a little unfair to moan when the bad boy types acted well bad. She got annoyed accusing me (quite correctly) or being to morose and negative about everything. There is nothing like a little tension to bring peoples true thoughts out.

Fun Tests

Ah the internet full of tat, like these useless yet somehow addictive polls ;-) Thanks to liz for this one

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

You Are 40% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person. No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet Those who like you have well refined tastes

What Kind of Pie Are You?

I am

I have been putting off doing a cardio session at the gym for over a week and I nearly did so again today. Something about the number of pancakes I knew I would eat this evening convinced me that I should really get myself into gear. I managed about 8KM in 55 minutes, which is OK but not great I definitely need to work more on stamina, I think my 10km target is in reach though.

Dan called me today, he was pretty excited, inspired by this blog he has decided to give blogging a try himself. I hope he finds it as pleasurable experience as I have. He is also trying to arrange a gathering on Saturday, which promises to be a good laugh, thought the plans are a little fluid at present.

Its my mums birthday this weekend I am a little unsure what to get her, I was going to order some flowers and take her shopping for clothes. I am not sure I would manage to buy anything decent on my own.

I went for a drink with Bruce this evening, his house purchase seems to be proceeding smoothly. There are a few issues arranging documents and such like he seemed a bit stressed with the signature process for his mortgage. Its actually not as strict as the one for work so he should count himself lucky! We had a relaxed drink in the Hesketh which I must say I really enjoy these days it has a very relaxed and comfortable feel these days.

Citizen Erased

Some days are just harsh and today was one of them. I should not complain too much thouhgt it was mostly my fault.

I went round to Martins last night to see how he was getting on after his op. He seems to be getting better, he looked tired, finding it hard to sleep with his arm tied up, and laid out on his back. He was in good spirits though feels everything went well and his arm is already healing. Its king of weird in fact because the surgery was keyhole there are only a few small marks to show for all of the work. Apparently he was under for two hours.

I got home just after 11 but for some reason I couldn't sleep. I kept waking every through hours. So I felt tired as hell this morning. My head felt like it was full of cotton wool, so I found thought even more difficult than normal.

Somehow I managed to get through the day, though it was far from my most triumphant. Several of the planned changes I made failed on live even though they passed QA on test. I even had to go and spend some time out on the floor, it made me realise just how little I have in common with the sales people sat out there. In fact I was very uncomfortable, users never like the system even though they would like paper a lot less (and e less productive).

Apres moi

Regina was on the Culture show last night, she played out the show on her piano, it was very beautiful much different to the concert.

I stayed in and watched TV and read my book, I was just so hung over all day. Philip and Bruce popped round with the latest editions of Lost, there has been such a long break since the last ones I has to remind myself what was going on. The first episode was great, the second was about Desmond it was a bit out of left field and as yet hasn't really added much to the story. I am keen for more about the others, and really Charley is annoying the hell out of me.

We also watched the film Carry. Phil had never seen it before, its a very good film based on the Steven King novel. Its quiet unusual for a horror as well virtually the entire film is a build up to the final chilling action. It also has a rather horrific conclusion with nobody saved no Hollywood cheer.

Regina was on the Culture show last night, she played out the show on her piano, it was very beautiful much different to the concert.

I stayed in and watched TV and read my book, I was just so hung over all day. Philip and Bruce popped round with the latest editions of Lost, there has been such a long break since the last ones I has to remind myself what was going on. The first episode was great, the second was about Desmond it was a bit out of left field and as yet hasn't really added much to the story. I am keen for more about the others, and really Charley is annoying the hell out of me.

We also watched the film Carry. Phil had never seen it before, its a very good film based on the Steven King novel. Its quiet unusual for a horror as well virtually hte entire film is a build up to the final chilling action. It also has a rather horrific conclusion with nobody saved no Hollywood cheer.

Broken Boy Soilders

For some reasons these days I seem to get the most terrible hangovers, well the reason is I drink too much. Maybe its part of ageing, my liver just cannot cope any more perhaps?

The reason for my extreme hangover (apart from the obvious excess alcohol consumption) was that I had been to a party at Andy G's house last night. His girlfriend Emily is about to head back to Lond to complete her placement so what better excuse for a party

Ian drove down as he had a bad back and was taking rather strong painkillers. This gave me my opportunity to have a few drinks. I chatted to Emily, she has really blossomed her work seems to have given her a new confidence in herself, very pleasing to see. I had a chat to Ian and to Andy.

I had a rather long and weird chat to Will, he was telling me about the very interesting work he is involved with. It sounds like a very interesting project, though I was too drunk to really be able to understand it. I did managed to find a load of FFT projects that you can use with open source. I forget to ask him what he was programming it in.

I must admit I hardly knew anyone there so that propelled me to drink a lot more. There were two bit of weirdness, one good and one bad. The good was Andy putting on tapes of the old college project videos he made with Ian Dave Catherine and the others. Its was so funny to see them I haven't laughed so much in a while.

The not so good were two of the parties participants having an argument, which left the girl sat crying in the kitchen. I cant bear to see crying women it has a really negative on me. Unfortunately I had to recharge my beer which meant going into the kitchen, sigh. To be honest I should have left it I didn't need more beer but typically I never know my limits.

So I have very much suffered today but never mind it was an enjoyable night out a bit different from the norm.

Hotel Song

Tonight was the final ebb of Christmas for me, funny to say I realise. However I had bought Bruce, Phil Nina and myself tickets to see the rather wonderful singer Regina Spektor.

After visiting the Academy on Friday to the Guillemots on Friday I found out that Regina Spektor gig had been moved from Academy 2 to the larger Academy Proper. This meant there were extra tickets available and as Jo expressed an interest in coming I invited him. He wanted to come so I ordered tickets for himself and girlfriend Holly. Collection was at the venue, it transpired that on arrival we found collection consisted of a man standing out side. The conversation went as thus "Hi I ordered some tickets in the name of Cooke", "John Cooke?" asked the man, I replied yes and he handed them over, no security check. Next time I am going to ask for Smith!

After picking up the extra tickets and a short queue, myself Phil Jo and Holly positioned ourselves near the front. Bruce Nina, Lindsey and Sarah joined us shortly afterwards. We were well positioned, only about 10 meters from the stage. There was rather a long pause before the support act Only Son came on stage.

Singer Only Son has supported Regina every time I have seen her. I think that his act is pretty good. I like the I-pod supporting band trick, and he has a couple of stand out songs.

I got very busy about this time and the temperature was started to rise. There were some weird people in the crowd too. For example there was a Chinese girl reading a book in the middle of the crowd, I couldn't see which book it was but she was totally engrossed at least until Regina came on. There was also a very annoying guy wearing a fedora hat guy, and a really weird backpack sporting dude.

Unfortunately I think the heat and bustle were a bit much for Holly, her diminutive stature made it hard for her to see as well. Part way through Only Son Jo had to take her home, he made it to Levenshulme and back but the idiot bouncers would not let him back in, it was a real shame as it was a much better gig than the one he attended at the Lowery (though still not as good as the first time I saw her at Academy 3).

There was quiet a gap in between Only Son and Regina, in fact I was starting to get very restless. When she finally made an appearance it was totally worth the rate, she delivered a consummate performance. Played a variety of songs from her albums a typical eclectic mix. Overall it was an amazing performance, my favourite songs were US, Sampson and better. I thought the Country song was pretty funny though not really album quality, she is definitely an artist to see live her music really comes to life the extra vocal tweaks she adds are playful and engaging.

After the gig we were on a high. We decided to go for a Curry at la Quila, I was not really that hungry so I shared a sizzler with Phil. Had a chat and pint, it was a nice end to the evening.

Hope overture

Ah valentines day, Surprisingly enough another year in which I received exactly zero valentines cards. Oh well maybe next year eh :P I think Jo summed it up best with his "I only received one red letter this morning it said please pay £88.50 love EDF", genius mate ;)

I went to pick up my visa today, its not quiet as impressive a stamp as the Belarussian one but I am certainly very pleased to have it. et again there were Chinese people arguing with the counter staff. I have no idea what over as the discussion was all in Chinese. On the way out I also got leafleted by some guy protesting about some practise of the Chinese government. They weren't there on Friday morning.

Things were a little weird today at work, there have been doing some chopping and changing I might have to go spend some time with another colleague to learn a different system. In principle I like the idea how much I can realistically learn in one day is debatable though.

Made it to the gym this evening, in total contrast to Monday it was nearly empty tonight. There must have been some football on TV or something I guess. This evening passed like any other but a conversation with one of my friends made me thing about Australia. I was so much more impulsive there, my attitude was like Nikes logo just do it. I think the thing was I had limited time which forced me to do things. Whereas here I am king of putting it off, there is always tomorrow right? Here you think you have forever but its just an illusion. I suppose thats why I am keen to do crazy stuff like visit people from the internet in other countries, because if I don't do it now I probably never will.

The Idiot

I just started reading the Idiot a Russian novel (I am reading the English translation of course) by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It is an account of a simple man totally who through his through his selflessness and sincerity makes his way into Russian society. Like the novel Crime and Punishment, the Idiot is at first glance extremely verbose and descriptive. I started reading this evening and have made it to chapter 6, With it being a translation and a text written in the 19th Century, some of the language can be a little difficult to understand.

The book is relatively light and very much a pleasure to read. I like the way Dostoevsky writes, he is like the Tarantino of the literary world. There are constant meanderings, which serve more to define the characters that further the plot. For all the extra prose it is never boring to read, always adding something to the "world" of the novel. Not that I am an expert on literature of course, I only managed a B at GCSE and that is about as far as I got with writing until the day I started up this blog (and I am by NO means comparing myself to a master author).

Apparently Dostoevsky is considered by some to be the father of existentialism. I never really gave it any though but he certainly does devote a lot of his material to inwards examination especially of extreme states of mind. Given I recently ordered some books about philosophy in an effort to expand my mind, without realising that I have already been exposing myself to a form of the art. I guess it exposes a gap in my education or understanding.

Andy "chief" Gilmore has invited me to a party / gathering at his place. The excuse is to wish Emily a fond farewell before she heads back to the big smoke to continue her placement. I am very much looking forward to seeing them again the chief is always good fun and Emily is always great company.

I have been very much alone these last few days, I have given up trying to contact people, I kind of get the feeling my low mood and work priorities have annoyed people so rather than labour the point I am leaving a little time and doing some exercises to help improve my demeanour.

Dead Mans Shoes

I watched a film this evening, (it the post title) A psychological thriller about a man who takes revenge on the people who harmed his brother. He becomes the monsters they were in order to exact his revenge on them. It explores the nature of man, how basically when pushed we can turn into monsters capable of pretty much anything. As an only child I have never really had a very strong family instinct I cannot really imagine having that sort of bond with someone. I just have trouble imagining what could make me feel so strongly about anything. Despite my fiery temper I actually find it pretty hard to really feel about anything, I mostly feel nothing simple ambivalence to the world.

Maybe its all part of the modern malaise, people are individuals first and foremost. Rather than part of society these days, we seem to have forgotten community. Obsession with consumerism and keeping up with the Jones is the modern way. I think we have forgotten we won our rights to vote and change society by acting together.

I guess I have always had a pretty black and white view of how the world works but it doesn't seem to fit. I just dunno anymore, my views are too simple. I guess I need to update my point of view somewhat.

Mary

Had a day of nothing today, spent most of my time obsessing about moving out being my own man. Instead of furthering that dream I sat and played computer games. To be honest I did enjoy myself, after a busy week it was good to relax and not think about anything for a while.

This evening went to the comedy night with Bruce and Phil. It was a good laugh though we got totally picked on for looking like a quiz team apparently, I think its becuase we were basically the youngest gyuys in there. It was mostly couples. I had quiet a fun evening the comedians were good, and there place was full.

Guillemots

Bruce and I went to the Academy in Manchester this evening to see the Guillemots. I bought the tickets ages ago basically on the back of hearing there most famous songs "Trains to Brazil", "Annie Lets not Wait" and "Made up Love Song". I thought they would be a pretty different band to see live.

They were certainly different, announcing they had food poisoning in the first five minutes they played a very experimental set. I got the feeling they love to play and experiment which is cool, though I much preferred the bouncy songs to the melancholic solo (Amusingly during the solo the sound of people were talking louder than he was playing!) or the orgy's of experimentation. I have to hand it to them, they put different slants on their songs so the live act is definitely a different experience to listening to the cd.

The people in front of us enjoyed themselves, a couple of girls were dancing like lunatics, though from the way they were speaking it was clear they had indulged in a few drinks, we probably more than a few.

I am not sure if Bruce like it or not, I hope so. He made a couple of jokes, one song a new one called Big Dog, he thought was big cock, and in fact his lyrics fitted nearly as well...

I wasn't the only one with reservations a heck of a lot of people left before the end (the band did not come out for an encore either. I guess they weren't joking about feeling ill). I think its the most people I have ever seen walk out of a pay for gig.

Overall I am glad I went it was a different experience, and variety is always fun, still think Trains to Brazil is amazing.

Man on the moon

I have the day off today, went out earlier this morning in order to go to the Chinese embassy. I need a visa for my upcoming trip to Shanghai, and for Chinese visas you need to make an application in person at the Embassy. Fortunately they have an office in Manchester.

It was quiet weird walking in to the Embassy a women was arguing with the aide in Chinese. Thankfully I did not have to argue or even wait long, the aide gave my details a quick check and handed me a receipt. She told me to come back on Wednesday and pay then, result.

I spent the rest of the morning doing my VAT return, what a pain took me an hour and I only ended up owning £8.05, sigh. Thankfully I have a piece of software called Myob which helps loads in producing all the figures, all I need to do is keep it updated.

Hablo Español!

My Mexican net friend is hosting a university radio show tomorrow about 3pm (Mexican time) I promised to link to her so,http://frecuenciatec.mty.itesm.mx. She is always interesting to chat to in English as for Spanish I have no idea but if you fluent might be fun to listen.

Killer Cars

I did not have the energy to blog last night, if I had I would simply have written my weekly Japanese was hard post. In truth I am still really shattered from the weekend and its so cold and oppressive at the moment

"Going out for a little drive and it could be the last time you see me alive", could have been my theme tune this morning. I defrosted my car, not very well dumped a load of hot water over the top, unfortunately it was so cold that I only got quarter of a mile before the damn thing refroze over I couldn't see a thing an had to drive for a few moments with only about 5percent visibility until I could find somewhere to stop.

Apparently it will be a very cold night tonight, talking of cold I think Paul and Ian must be annoyed with me. I know it was crap I did not "play out" this weekend, even though it totally was not my choice neither of them returned my calls recently.

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in over a week, I kind of went a little crazy and my body feels rather abused now. I still have not managed to get back to where I was before the Christmas break in terms of the weights, though my running is going well. I managed to beat me (quiet poor) best 5km time, did it in about 29 minutes. I was absolutely knackered but still managed a weight session afterwards. Perhaps a short break was not so bad after all.

I spoke to to ex girlfriends today, they both contacted me randomly, in either case I have no real idea what the purpose was, perhaps they just wanted to make sure I am not doing better than them?

Training aides

Found a really cool website you can draw on a map to work out how far / fast you have run http://www.mapmyrun.com

People are strange

Today has been a strange day for me, I actually received high praise for my work over the weekend which was very welcome but also pretty strange. It kind of shows that when all our effort is put into one project we can successfully complete it, promptly.

This evening I went for a quiet drink with Bruce at the Thieves, on the walk there we noticed a man stood at the side of the graveyard taking photographs of the church (or the graves we weren't sure). Given it was actually freezing we thought it was a rather odd thing to be doing. Bruce and I were just leaving the pub when a random women approached me and asked if my surname was Cooke. She told me she knows my dad from way back when he was a child, and my grandparents, the ones I never met. It was a rather surreal conversation and ended rather abruptly when I told her I still lived with my parents and never got to meet my grandparents on my fathers side. She told me he probably would not remember her and left without telling me her name. It all made for a very surreal evening.

Bruce and I had been having a quiet drink and chat about his search for a house. It looks like he has been gazzumped on his uncles place so he is looking around at some other properties. Current favorite is one in Cheadle. He was pretty upset at all the money needed to pay for other things, surveys, legal fees, and lender fees amongst others totaling somewhere around £5000. Its an expensive business this home buying that is for sure.

Which Superehero are you?

Your results:
You are Hulk
You are a wanderer with
amazing strength.

Hulk		65%
Spider-Man		65%
Robin		62%
Superman		60%
Iron Man		55%
Green Lantern		55%
The Flash		55%
Catwoman		45%
Supergirl		40%
Batman		40%
Wonder Woman		20%

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

I am not entirely sure how I ended up being 20% Wonder Women, I definitely said no to the push up bra question.

For all the cows

Was interesting waking up this morning, I had two rather weird text messages sorry cant make the contents public. Contrary to message two sentiment I did not make it to Leamington, it was very upsetting for me but I have spent the majority of the weekend at work creating new mortgage screens.

Despite having worked yesterday everything I did needed to be changed despite it matching the brief the brief didn't match peoples ideas. I spent about 2 hours reworking to the new plan, and another couple of hours adding new features. Then I had to do the testing. I had to put up with a horrible anally retentive call center nobody, and a rather annoying call center manager. They apparently has to fight off girls with a stick, Jesus he is so fucking ugly in manor and tone are women so simple? Surely not, its bad enough I get asked to go dancing with my friends girlfriend, but being dissed by a call center pleb was nearly enough to bring on he red mist. Especially after two day super hard graft. I did have one new experience today,I had my first ever KFC meal. The IT managers girlfriend bought it for us which was pretty good to be honest I was getting hungry. However no exercise and a KFC I a on a dark path :(

I drank two bottles of Belgium beer tonight so my head is mashed. I also watched a film called the children of men about a future with no babies, its quiet scary guessing what England maybe. I hope it doesnt come to that, I would like to have some kids one day, if I find the right partner.

Oh Yeah

Some days things just don't go to plan, and unfortunately today was one of them. Everything started as usual I got up went to work, spent the morning working on a project to optimise some programs. At lunch time I came home and ate lunch with my parents, I got back to work on time at 1.30 then the bomb dropped, the big boss man at the customer had decided some work needed to be ready for Monday. The first I had heard of this work was yesterday when I was asked for a vague time estimate on producing a cu t down mortgage application, I had suggested it would take two days. That gave me less than half a day to complete the work, and get it tested, impossible.

After speaking to my boss I was persuaded that I was the only member of the team available (there is also another software roll-out at another customer happening on Monday). All this work related nonsense means I had to cancel my trip out with the boys, Paul sounded particularly annoyed with me. I find it hard to balance my career and social life. As Paul said I am not a director but if I had not have agreed one of my colleagues would have had to do the job, and I know they would not have thanked me for it as I would not I the position were reversed.

Its hard trying to make your way in this world nobody can tell you what the best thing to do is. I am trying to make a career; the problem is I am not sure if I am a model employee worthy or a promotion / pay rise. Or am I just another part of the machine downtrodden and ignored. All I know is all I have is my own efforts, there is nobody to bail me out, I cannot afford to take a big gamble and lose.

Anyway's, I hope everyone has a good weekend, albeit one without me joining in the fun. My weekend will be spent designing screens. I did manage to go to the gym tonight but have ruined the good intentions somewhat by starting back up on the beer. There were some cans in the fridge left over from the pre Christmas party at Jo's. It has been a month since I last had a drink and all the time they were sat in the fridge begging to be consumed.

Annie

My blogs have been a bit dull recently, I am afraid I think this is a by-product of me cutting back for January and staying tee total. However January is now over so I can have a beer again. more good news is that the trip down to Paul's is definitely on. So this weekend should be great llaugh as, myself Woller Ian and Paul out in Royal Leamington Spa :)

Upgraded the mono engine at work this morning, it went pretty well which was very lucky really its needed for a new project.

Managed 30 minutes running at 10km/h which I thought was pretty impressive for me, I was totally knackered on the cooldown I nearly walked straight out of the gym. I have meant to do a weights session but my arm is still bruised from donating blood.

I found out that on Firefox for Linux and Mac you can type define:word into the address box and it does a dictionary lookup rather than a websearch very clever. I also managed finally to get British English dictionaries on so no more red wavy lines under colour ;)

I spent this evening tussling with Ian' smartphone. It is a Sony P910, the same model as some the guys at work have, we managed to get Imap email working and with a bit of messing about I even made the sync software play ball. Its actually quiet a feature rich phone, though I don't really like the flip bit I certainly thinks it one of the best smart phones at least until the Apple i-phone comes out.

Entropy

Had the most difficult Japanese class this evening basically had to write ask and understand only in Japanese a list of 25 things from radio to chocolate. It was very confusing. I spoke to some of the others they also found it difficult, so at least I wasn't. I think that Emi, our teacher likes to keep think moving at a fair pace. I think her expectation we will pick things up or give up.

After class I had the pleasure of meeting Nick and Mike for a drink. I stuck to diet coke, its still January after all. It was good to see Mike it has been a while. Ever since he became a father I have seen him only infrequently so it is always quiet fun having a chat. Nick was tired as usual, he has been having trouble with his lettings one of them caught fire after a tenet feel asleep holding a lit cigarette.

Higher than reason

I spend a lot of time contemplating things, probably far more than is healthy to be honest. I have always found thinking easier than action, unless the action is to think of course. A lad at work was talking about houses today, it came up after I stumbled upon then 1000 / month article. He travels everyday from St Helens. He is in a similar situation to me commuting to Accrington in my previous job. He is looking to buy somewhere closer which is cool trouble is he is 3 years younger. I guess it makes me feel a little left behind. Stupid I know life is only ever a race against oneself not others.

I need to take some action stop being a stay at home boring nothing, I have hardly done anything this month. Though to be honest, I seem to have timed it so all my big bill hit in January not the best planning ever. I will have to raid some of my savings accounts in order to pay for everything. I guess on the positive side at least I have savings, rather than having to get into debt.

I have now been alcohol free for nearly a month to be honest I am looking forward to having a drink soon! I would have saved money except I spent it on Amazon buying books to try to learn about web services. Unfortunately, they mostly sit on my shelf unread. I only ever really use them for reference I am falling into my dads trap.

I managed to have a bit of a chat to Lulu today; she is still addicted to World of Warcraft and prison break! Oh someone asked my why she is called Lulu its not a very Chinese name and you would be right it isn't as I understand its an anglicised name as the Chinese doesn't go into English very well (hope that is correct ;)

Why I'll never own a house

A BBC Story reports that house prices will rise by an average of £1000 per month during 2007. Thats way more than I can save and already the prices are out of reach.

Facebookage

After having a long boring chat with one of my clients about how their website wasn't working and that I should refund them for months despite the fact they never bothered to mention it I was feeling slightly annoyed. So I decided to do some shameless self publication and set up a profile on Facebook. It is another of the (in)famous Web 2.0 sites with plenty of community content primarily focussed on University/ College graduates creating groups of friend for people from the same University or area. Its a lot more slickly designed than myspace I especially liked the fact you can embed the rss feed from other blogs rather than being forced to use the Facebook one. So far i only have a few friends so if there are any other Facebook users reading this please feel free to add me.

I had basically a geeky day in fact apart from going for a swim (for the first time in months) I mostly spent the day upgrading SuSE on my works laptop 10.2 is great it even does the power management properly (provided I add a few extra modules to the autoload). I also tried to get the new server up and running but it still refuses to boot, I think its cursed to be honest.

Someone took it upon themselves to give me a major dressing down for living at home, and not being married yet. It was quiet depressing and they had a point but what am I meant to do, I can't really see a point in moving out to a really crap area where I would have a constant struggle affording to live. As for the lack of relationships I am working on it, just I haven't been able to meet the right person yet.

Fussy Fish

My fish have turned into gourmets; a few weeks ago, I bought the more expensive food because the cheap one was out of stock. After consuming it, the Oscars are refusing to eat the cheap variety. It is going to end up costing me twice as much to feed them now, and I wasted £13 buying a tub of the cheap food. I find it raterh funny how the fish have personality. I mean not the same way as humans do, but still they have individual characteristics.

I stayed in and watched a film with Bruce and Phil this evening. Called Severance the film was a cheap British slasher. Focusing on a group of weapons company employees on a team building retreat in Eastern Europe. It was quiet entertaining shot in a post-modern ironic style lampooning some of the horror conventions whilst keeping a certain level of tension. I especially liked the Russian chicks with guns scene after the British person could not work out how to fire a rifle.

Endgame

Listening to a song [endgame] Jo gave me apparently its one of his friends songs I quite like it. The sone is an ambient electronic track with a female singer, its a little overlong but otherwise quiet a pleasent song.

Today I have had two meals out :) bad me, I gave blood good me and I sorted out some bits and bobs for Ian.

The first meal out was lunch with my dad and my great auntie, since my great uncle died my dad often goes round to see her she was in a fine mood today having a joke about Harold Shipman of all things.

After work I went to a blood drive at the parish hall, I missed my last session as it was timed to be the night of Sandbox's last gig. It was quiet; the quietest I have ever been too, the nurse told me the earlier session had been manic though. The donation went ok though the nurse bruised my arm a little. When I went for a cup of tea afterwards one women's arm started bleeding badly, the nurses rushed into action and it was soon sorted out but was scary for a moment.

For dinner I went out with my parents and my mums friend Kath to the La Quila for a curry, as usual the food was excellent though the services was a little sub par. The waiter forgot some of our order and seemed to have selective hearing when I was asking for some water.

Ian bobbed round this evening; I only just beat him back from my meal. He wanted his website loaded onto his laptop (and my Apple) so that people coming to a show he was doing could view the site whilst getting a drink. Contrast, on Ian's laptop had to download and install a web-server to load serve his website whereas on the Apple on the Mac had to click one button to turn on web sharing and copy the files on. I could not find a way to make safari go full screen though that was a bit of a blow.

The Apologist

Several notable things happened today, well to me at least. The first one was receiving a very random text from Dan. He is in Barcelona with Jen and wanted to know the location of Margarita Blue, hopefully he found it after I gave him directions from the net I couldn't really remember the names of the streets other than the Ramblas.

Continuing the randomness this evening I got back from the gym to find a message from a very anxious co worker, something was up with the subversion repository a quick check reviled another colleague had accidentally deleted part of the repository. It was fine on a version from 6 minutes earlier, I can only imagine his tool foo barred badly.

Finally, more annoying than weird, the server once again made it difficult for us to install our software. This time it looks like the CD drive has failed the damn thing is cursed I am sure!

Went for a drink with Nick and Becky at the thieves neck, I still stayed off the beer (but ruined it later by eating chocolates oops). Got a look at her Blackberry, I must admit the new model looks a lot better then the ones from my previous work. Though still on the big size it is functional and easy to read email, I still would not buy one though. I thought it is a little strange that she has a phone and a Blackberry; I guess contracts get in the way.

はい

Japanese class was the high point of today, so there is a bit of a Japanese title and theme to this post. First to work though, it complexly sucked today. I feel like I have become cut off like an island of my company in a sea of the client. Due to my close relationship witht he client and inexperience I have become somewhat shunned by my colleagues. They treat me as a kind of second class citizen as I ask too many questions, well I do not have years of experience to draw on I need professional development to learn the skills they possess. To the customer I am just a cheap resource to be exploited. So far my career development has been pretty thin, I was meant to work with other developers and learn instead I am on my own. I did for a while get a taste of working on newer things but surprisingly enough I was almost straight away put back onto the same old garbage.

Today I was forced to sit through a meeting with the big wigs and our competitor as usually I was a junior there. I just had to sit and shut up whilst the competition walked all over us, sigh. Fortunately they aren't half slick as they imagine or they would really be able to cause issues.

I am just about entering pre school for Japanese class, today were learned the equivalent for this, that and over there, found out that the Japanese don't use 'or', they say is this, is this. Its different, it actually allows us to put a lot more vocabulary to use now we can construct more sentences though. I am hopefully going to put some more time into learning Kana this week as I was pretty woefully bad looking up words.

I found out my Apple has a built in Japanese (and Chinese) virtual keyboard and character set making it much superior to windows. It the text on the header doesn't display is say HiI which is Japanese for yes.

Brrr

I spend an exorbitant amount at M&S today, I had to buy some new clothes for work my suits are starting to fray and most my shirts have been through the wash so many times there fading. I went a little mad I must admit but I hate shopping so much I just wanted to get enough that I can avoid it for another 6 months.

This evening I walked into the gym it was wet and cold did an hour and a half picking up heavy bits of metal then walked out to find myself in a picture postcard scene. Snow was falling and my car was already dusted with an inch of snow, I love snow it really pretty brightening up winter.

Bruce braved the inclement weather so we could look into an email problem, then go to the pub. I stuck to diet coke I still have managed to stay off beer so far this month, only 10 more days to go. I haven't lost any weight yet though, I really need to diet but its been very difficult with my parents always make so much food. To be honest it’s the worst thing about living with them, I have tried on several occasions to speak to them but its always the same old story they say one thing and do another, I find it incredibly frustrating.

Blunt force trauma!

I went to Didsbury this evening with Ian, Bruce and Bruce' friend Steven to see the new Rocky film. To be honest I did not have particularly high expectations, though I liked the original film I found the 4th and 5th sequels to be pushing it somewhat.

The first amusing thing about the evening was that whilst waiting for Ian in the foyer of the cinema I was able to survey the storm damage, the powers that be had forgotten to take down the Christmas decorations including one super-sized snowman. Said snowman is now laid across the front of the cinema the wind delivering a knock out punch.

Once Ian arrived we grabbed the tickets and made our way upstairs the cinema was rammed obviously Rocky appeals to the masses. Then the second funny thing, some guys were walking round dressed up as Rocky and Mr T, the Rocky guy even dank some raw eggs! Top class funny stuff I don't know if they were paid by the cinema or just some mad fans, they were entertaining though.

It was a very inspirational tale, continuing on after Adrian's death Rocky has little purpose in his life a son who cannot find his way out of his fathers shadow. After another anniversary of Adrian's death spent wondering old hunts and a chance meeting with Marie a character from the original he decides to get back into the ring. His application for a boxing licence coincides with a computerised match-up of Rocky (in his prime) against the current undefeated (but unloved) world champion.

OK the plot is thinner than Tesco value wafer thin ham. However its all inspirational stuff Rocky battles ageism prejudice and even has the media mocking in I guess a kind of self parody of the film concept itself. Also and not to ruin the film he doesn&39;t actually beat the champion and the fighting is pretty artfully done. I must admit I enjoyed myself and even managed to empathise with the characters. I do wonder what the point of the Marie character was she alone the impetus for Rocky to return to the one constant in his life? I am not sure Stallone (who wrote and directed) had a clear idea other than she was a mirror for Rocky, living a mixed up and unhappy life.

The atmosphere in the cinema during the film was high it reminded me of seeing the premier of Star Wars episode one, all the expectant fans clapping the opening shouting out. People whooping when the infamous training scene started, yes he really does run up the stairs again and yes it real is cool!

Video Mac

Bruce managed to get hold of an S-Video connector for my Mac, I just gave it a quick try. Oh dear why did I wait so long, it was unbelievably easy to set up ticking two boxes over-scan and optimise for video resulted in the best picture I have ever got out of my TV! Another example of the famous Apple it just works design, and on that fanboy note it must be time for bed before I embarrasses myself some more.

Skip Divided

I am finding blogging very difficult at the moment maybe its a result of me not drinking, or just of being in a low mood I am not sure, I keep thinking of things to say but have trouble getting the words onto the page and have given up more than a few times. My other projects are also in a state of flux.

The not drinking thing is leaving me with a lot of spare time in the evening I am really missing going out to the pub, and have managed to spend most of the money I have saved ordering stuff from Amazon to keep me occupied, only half a month left!

Japanese class is getting harder I think, Hiragana is quite a bit more difficult then Katakana thanks to the fact several of the characters are virtually identical except for a line or two. I had fun in class though Eme is a good teacher though she does tend to rush us through, perhaps one day I will make it out of Pre School!

I got a letter through asking me to donate blood, I was meant to just before Christmas but I really wasn't in the mood. I think I will go to this next one, it will my ninth donation. I think that means I have donated my own bodies worth of blood so far!

Whilst looking up my next working out men's health I that the average age to get married these days is 27. Looks like I am bucking the trend. Talking of marriage, I spoke to Maia today. She has had a falling out her new husband's mother, looks like they will have to find somewhere else to live. I would not want to start out married life on such a negative note, so I guess I should count myself lucky.

Annie, lets not wait

Well 15 days into 2007 so far I have had 0 alcohol units, that is not counting the continued drinking into new years day. I have done 16km on the running machine (over 2 sessions, I am not that fit, yet!). Work is even going OK I am getting through it slowly, I had a bit of a bad patch over the weekend but I am trying to be positive.

I went round to Nick's house last night, handed Becky her present she seemed to be pleased which is great. I had her and Nicks holiday pictures printed and put into an album, I was a little unsure if it was a good idea or not, but if she enjoy it that's all that matters. I think Nick was pleased to see them as well.

My legs ache this evening I was going to use the cross trainer but they were al in use in fact almost every runner all the cross trainers and most of the bikes were being used I had to wait a for minutes to get anything. I hate January for that so many people join up to the gym go mad come lots. I think people come to the gym too often don't see results quick enough or simply burn out in the first couple of months. By the end of February things are quiet again, and apart from a bit of extra activity before summer with people desperately trying to get fit for the beach, then again the month before Christmas party season.

In my experience losing weight and changing body shape isn't something that can be done overnight. Admittedly I have taken a long time over it, but that because I never dieted, I simply cut back a little on snacks and exercised more. Its taken years to drop the weight but at the same time I have more tone and am much fitter. Personally I would not trade these extra benefits for some quick weight loss which leave you body tired and emaciated. Prefer to have a bit of meat and tone it up, I guess your mileage may vary.

I might rework my previous post into something that's not quite so crazy I might not time will tell. I do not usually like censorship but in this case I went a little too far despite my openness on this forum there are still a lot of things I keep to myself I think this is one, for now at least.

Post withrawn

I decided my last post needs some more work so its gone for now.

So Here We Are

Last night went for a curry with my Dad and Martin. It was a treat from my dad for Martin after all the help he gave us with our heating. It was nice to catch up with him, randomly Phil's family walked in just as my dad was re-telling the Phil Chindaloo incident.

I slept in late this morning, felt a little wearisome, watched some TV then went to the gym for a jog. I managed 60 minutes on the treadmill just under 9KM (though I did have to slow down for the last 10 minutes). I seem to be fortunate in that my fitness hasn't dropped off given thanks to being ill this was my first session of the year.

This evening went out to Matt and Phreds for some food and jazz. I drove still being off the beer, somehow I ended up in a rather uncomfortable position next to Phil who seemed to be on a mission to get hammered and Jos friends who seemed to want to ignore my existence (until they wanted a lift back). I was seated opposite Holly and her lovely friend Liz which was a bonus. However due to a lack of Dutch courage and the volume of the jazz, it was hard to talk to anyone.

Bruce and Nina were annoyed at the fact they paid way too much for their share of the bill, someone clearly didn't put enough money in. We stayed until about 12.30ish then made a move. Jo asked if I would give one of his friends a lift home, I was hoping it was going to be Liz but it turned out to be the two guys who didn't want to speak to me. After waiting forever outside as one of them had to fix their tab we left. I was feeling short tempered and tired by now, amazing how beer helps me get through these sort of evenings.

Idiots rule

Saw a wonderful film tonight Idiocracy directed by Mike Judge he of Beavis and Butthead. Basically two average people from 2005 are frozen in a time capsule for a year expect they end up being frozen for 500. Waking up to a world which has devolved to the lowest common denominator.

The premise is that natural selection no longer works ads there are no predators and the ones breeding are at the bottom of society, so over several generations the IQ of the population has dramatically dropped. Commerce and tv all go for the lowest common denominator the corporations rule, water has been replaced by Gator-aid stupidity and base instincts rule. It was all very tongue in cheek but you can see the grain of truth in it. Worth a watching its a smart take on idiot culture and worth it for the parodies of Costco and Starbucks of the future.

In other news interest rates rose again today. Its the third time since August, in many ways as a saver this is great news for me savings rates have increased quiet nicely. It does make me twitchy though I could have taken a mortgage at a fixed rate already maybe I am missing out I hard to decided. I do know I want to get out the ladder though.

I haven't been to the gym once yet this year, I still feel ill, and I am putting it off because I know how crowded it will be. I do need to start training soon though I put on a few pounds over Christmas and I want to shed them and more before I jet to Shanghai, Lulu wants me to go with her to a hot spring so want to look half decent by then. I am still off beer though so hopefully that will help a little. Though we are all going out for a meal on Saturday to Matt and Phreds so I could definitely use some cardio work before that.

Feeling so real

Apple announced the iPhone today, see also BBC report. It looks amazing so much rolled into a rather svelte package, though I would love to know more about the technical spec's and 5 hours seems a pretty short battery duration. I guess I will have to wait a fair few months before they hit these shores. I have reservations about how revolutionary the device is Jobs made out it was a new paradigm in computing to me it looks like a rather good looking and snazzy smart phone. The stock market seems to have responded well the share were up 8% on the news, it rather shows how crazy the markets can be weighing into an already expensive company on the back of a product announcement, no product no sales as yet.

I was back at Japanese class tonight, it was a real struggle after the three week Christmas break. We did our first lesson on Hirigana the Japanese alphabet used for Japanese things, I found it very hard going especially as now the text is read top to bottom and from right to left! Our first exercise was copying out the major 46 characters, in Japanese writing its important how the characters are formed we need to learn the strokes. Its a little like being back in primary school endlessly copying out the Latin alphabet. I feel like I know a little now but at the current rate of progress its going ot be a long time before I am even at primary school level never mind conversational, at least its interesting learning.

I have even been talking to Ian about going for a trip there, we spent a day travelling back from Australia and promised we would go back. No Faye is off the scene and Zanshin seems to be doing well perhaps later in the year we could go see Tokyo, Osaka. Here is hoping.

If you have made it this far in my blog perhaps stop now what follows is somewhat of a rant I almost did not post it all, and I might decide to delete it later. However for now I am vexed so here goes.

Several things today made me realise I am a crap capitalist. For example I give money to charity, I find it hard to collect money that's owed to me, and I actually pay for things when I could have them for free. Well the last one is more about morality than about capitalism, I suppose I should try and externalise as much of the cost as possible.

Most people do not want to pay for software, myself included. I mean who can afford to pay £400 for MS Office? The majority of home users do not, they pirate it, even in the face of excellent alternatives like open office or neo office for mac. Regardless now I am a software developer I feel sorry for the small software developers. Especially the lone gunmen who basically have usually on product and are at the whims of customers who don't want to pay. Today my friend asked me if I could get something for free which would cost him $20, elaborating it turned out this would save him hundreds of pounds. It kind of pissed me off to be honest, surly the saving justifies the cost rather than stealing?

F.E.M.

I saw a pretty interesting site this evening, basically its a film marketed through the medium of myspace and the internet. It looked pretty cool (well at least the website / video podcasts I watched). Basically they made an indie film made in the style which blends the reality of the their relationship and art/life. The film examine the relationship between a couple just starting out. I was pretty impressed with the creativity even if they are a little self absorbed. Sorry my explanation is awful but I am feeling pretty tired check out the website below to make you own mind up.


Click here to see more episodes!

I tried to get on top of things at work today but unfortunately the harder I tried the further from the actual prize I seem to be. I am still feeling really tired and worn down by whatever bug I caught last week. Tomorrow is a long day as i have the first Japanese class of the new year, I have neglected practise over the Christmas break so its going to be a bit of a rude awakening I think.

I filled out my Chinese visa form tonight I just need to get Lulu real address or find a tourist company which will sponsor it. Should not be too much of a problem I hope. I went to one of those photo me places at lunch time it made a real criminal photograph of me, hope it will not count against my application.