Just got back from a gym session my body is totally tired Just like the other day I had to tone down all my weights and even go for a couple of walks in between some of the more taxing sets. It is amazing that in only just over a month of not doing weights how much power I have lost, so difficult to build up so easy to lose!
What is normally a euphoric experience was partially messed up but the thoughts running around my head. I kept thinking about Maia how can she have forgotten me, why can't I forget and get a clear head? A question haunts me, "why does no one love me"? Maia fell for some German weirdo before the Italian, my god he was into taking photos of his Barbie dolls! What the heck as the Italian chap got that I haven't except a tan and a pass to Italy. So the stupid thing I want to do is phone her demand to know why! However that is about the worst idea ever so instead I will try and forget.
Further thoughts have been troubling me. I have known at least three girls who after finding out I still lived at home suddenly lost interest. I don't know if its lucky escapes from gold diggers or women just want to find someone who is master of their own destiny and can take care of themselves.
I need to break out of this I felt so good a couple of weeks ago yet is often seems like everything wants to drag me down. Problems at work, and women; especially when they seem keen one moment and then not so. Not no one where I am going or what to do next weekend I have two extra days off I was planning to go to Prague. I loved Prague but part of the reason to go was to visit a girl I know there. Not quiet the same situation as Maia, I met Kelly in Manchester we went out for a drink had a good time but since we have only talked sporadically, I talked about going to visit her after getting back from Belarus but since we have been pretty distant so its probably (almost certainly) a stupid idea, anyway I need to move on not retry past mistakes. Instead I am going to go see something in the UK where I am not 100% sure yet hopefully it will prove to be a fun adventure.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Six Mile Water
This week has been pretty tiring, not just because I had to stay up late working, though that sure added to the problem. I think mostly the good feelings leftover from my holiday has gone replaced by an empty confused feeling.
Yesterday was the 11th Lan event, more computer games, more pizza more fun. Based at the legion as usual Phil and I had picked up the keys last night so we were able to set up at our leisure. A couple of people decided to turn up way before the event started which was slightly annoying especially as they are the more demanding clients. However undeterred we set up quickly like pros. Despite earlier feelings the turnout ended up lower than expected. A few new people turned up though; also one returning guy from Lan number 2 came again. He now has a new pc, complete with a really cool display on the front. I enjoyed the day even though I was certainly too tired to talk to Chris after a full day of his questions. The games all seemed to go pretty well though we never got HLstatsX working shame but oh well. I guess the next one will be Christmas only not long now folks!
I washed my car earlier and for no reason at all random trains of thought started going though my mind. I remember thinking out the different types of intelligence. I thought of several distinct types, first that quick sharp intelligence the one that works like lightening, creator of retorts, quick jokes and sharp words. Second is the deep knowledge it can be slow or quick the ability to call on a body of evidence to remember quotes dates and events and use them to back up arguments. Finally there is the practical intelligent some people are just able to look at problems and see the solution. That eureka moment going from a to c without passing through b. Most people are a composite of these types falling somewhere into the mix I have found it very rare to meet people who are well versed in all areas. Just thought I would share that weirdness with you ;-)
Yesterday was the 11th Lan event, more computer games, more pizza more fun. Based at the legion as usual Phil and I had picked up the keys last night so we were able to set up at our leisure. A couple of people decided to turn up way before the event started which was slightly annoying especially as they are the more demanding clients. However undeterred we set up quickly like pros. Despite earlier feelings the turnout ended up lower than expected. A few new people turned up though; also one returning guy from Lan number 2 came again. He now has a new pc, complete with a really cool display on the front. I enjoyed the day even though I was certainly too tired to talk to Chris after a full day of his questions. The games all seemed to go pretty well though we never got HLstatsX working shame but oh well. I guess the next one will be Christmas only not long now folks!
I washed my car earlier and for no reason at all random trains of thought started going though my mind. I remember thinking out the different types of intelligence. I thought of several distinct types, first that quick sharp intelligence the one that works like lightening, creator of retorts, quick jokes and sharp words. Second is the deep knowledge it can be slow or quick the ability to call on a body of evidence to remember quotes dates and events and use them to back up arguments. Finally there is the practical intelligent some people are just able to look at problems and see the solution. That eureka moment going from a to c without passing through b. Most people are a composite of these types falling somewhere into the mix I have found it very rare to meet people who are well versed in all areas. Just thought I would share that weirdness with you ;-)
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