Wednesday, September 07, 2005

One Story

Well after talking last night Liz clearly went to bed and got up pissed with me from the sound of the text messages I got today, I must say she caught me at pretty much the worst time possible so my reply was none too friendly. I cant believe how badly things have gone falling out with two girls in two days is a record even for me.
Work was foul lots of spaghetti to dig through too many questions as to why on earth things have been done the way they have, but hey none listens to me anyway im just the trainee. My main gripe today is the way the database is structured nothing is normalized the tables are huge and for some very bizarre reason we have three separate tables for each of the three types of loan rather than have a flag to say which type of loan it is. So it means you have to programatically decide which type of loan it is which is not always an easy feat for various reasons like it the loan has been transferred from one to the other it will have a record in multiple files witht he same key, just so poor.
This evening Martin and I went to see his ex workmate Aaron at the Night and Day Cafe in Manchester, the guy didn't endear himself to me asking if I was gay :-S his music was ok a bit like Damien Rice only without the passion. One Story were pretty good though they had a lot of intensity and a couple of stand out songs though the lead could do with getting a better mike couldn't hear some the vocals through the hiss.
Saturday is bit light which is something good to look forward too

Lies damn lies and blogs

I must admit at times I am a terrible liar, I lie at work so I can be lazy, I lie to people about where Ive been or am going to, usually its just a case of me protecting my private life (I guess pretty much an odd thing for someone who runs a blog but hey I never claimed t be a simple person). I guess the person I lie most often to is myself, I have pretty strong belifes that sometimes just to get through the day I need to justify things to myself. Once upon a time I was convinced I could do something with my life be positive but somewhere on the way after many compromises I sit here and well I havent and the sa fact is I probably nver will.
You might at this point dear reader be slightly confused about this post why should I be talking about lies, well the reason is one of my lies became undone because of this very blog!
Over the last few weeks I have been seeing in a casual sense two women Liz and Nikkie, neither was serious in fact Nikkie very much didnt want anything serious, I did however quiet like Nikkie enough to want to see what happened well if you read the last post you know what that was. I digress however in a nutshell I had lied to Liz about what I was doing this weekend in order to have a free schedual I justified this that hey we werent serious it wont matter (see what I mean about lieing to myself, ifs not a character trait I like). Anyway the long and short of it is she read my blog and cofronted me and well I had no excuses.
I should have been honest but I wasnt in fact today I wa completing a survey about morality it asked what I would do if I saw people committing an illegal act whether I would respond, I longed to say would but in my heart I knew that I am a coward and although I like to talk about doing great deeds I would probably walk on by.
The only positives things from day were actully being honest with Liz and going for a cycle, my shouldr hurt during the night though so maybe I even overdid that.