Well I felt completly terrible going into work today that will teach me to drink on a chool night. It was good though so that cheered me up.
Unfortunaly I was soon grounded back to earthby Nikkie she didnt seem to understand my annoyance with what happened and finished with me. Not that we were actually together in a meaningful way this was afterall the girl who kept telling me she had her own life and didnt want monogamy. Anyway the usually recriminations via text, I was less than pleasent with reason I feel, but thats it over. Realistically she could have simply been nice but as usual it was all accusations straight away, i guess it would never work with her in Blackburn anyway oh well, another on to experience.
Work was as painful as usual more bugs more bad planning sometimes I dispair at the lack of direction and planning.
At least mr happness was at another site so I didnt have the entire will to live stripped away. I got a crazy and random job offer to be a senior novell person, did the agent even look at my cv? Quiet funny especially as its based in Paris France I dont speak French. Oh well managed a meet Bruce for a pint at the unicorn and had a chat to Cassy which lifted my spirets a bit.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Today was meant to be a good day I was ging to Nikkies for her sisters wedding it would be a chance for us to spend some time together and to eat bbq etc. The first let down had been ork cancelling my holiday so I couldnt stay over (though as it panned out this might not have been such a bad thing).
The first bad sign was getting lost, maybe this was the universe trying to put me off, maybe just me being inept.
Anyway finally arrived and to start with things were cool satting chatting playing criket then all of a sudden im alone I try and mingle but everyone seems very cliquey after serveral hours of bascially hanging alone I made my excuses and left. I dont think I have every felt more like a spare part, its like the sort of parties i went to as a kid trying to fit in I promised myself I would never be exploited like that again and yet there I was bored as hell watchig Nikkie mingling with people I didnt know. I was glad to get away and to brighten my day I met up with Ian Bruce Faye and Ian for drinks at the Davenport Arms. It was great fun chatting and laughing about lost and life. Eventually ended up back at Ians smoking some weed and chatting about the old days it wa like being 17 again chasing after Laura Fairhurst. In fact there was a conisidence as Nikkies house is on Fairhurst lane, almost some sort of sick karma. I came back from Ians totally trashed I am surpirsed I have been able to type this, Night
The first bad sign was getting lost, maybe this was the universe trying to put me off, maybe just me being inept.
Anyway finally arrived and to start with things were cool satting chatting playing criket then all of a sudden im alone I try and mingle but everyone seems very cliquey after serveral hours of bascially hanging alone I made my excuses and left. I dont think I have every felt more like a spare part, its like the sort of parties i went to as a kid trying to fit in I promised myself I would never be exploited like that again and yet there I was bored as hell watchig Nikkie mingling with people I didnt know. I was glad to get away and to brighten my day I met up with Ian Bruce Faye and Ian for drinks at the Davenport Arms. It was great fun chatting and laughing about lost and life. Eventually ended up back at Ians smoking some weed and chatting about the old days it wa like being 17 again chasing after Laura Fairhurst. In fact there was a conisidence as Nikkies house is on Fairhurst lane, almost some sort of sick karma. I came back from Ians totally trashed I am surpirsed I have been able to type this, Night
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