Complicated

On the way home from my time out at the Bulls head I got a text from Maia, first one in weeks it woke up all the stupid feelings I had one part of my wanted to message back and tell her where to go the other was so excited to hear from here. I really need to learn to live without. I sent her a message along those lines and did not receive a response I guess it wasn't what she wanted or expected to hear.
I am pretty much over her now but still alone so pitifully alone i just hope some time soon there will e someone who actually wants me.

Lunch at the Bulls Head

 
I went out for lunch with Ali Mike, Nick and Becky, it was great to to see them again and Isobell shes grown so much I can hardly believe its been close to two years since she was born, time really has flown.

Mike and Ali are close to moving away which is a shame I guess it will mean I see even less of them :(
Becky was making me lauch you can see how much see loves Isobell and wants her own children I don't think Nick feel exactly the same way though I am sure one day he will at the minute he is occupied with empire building.

Myself I would like that sort of closeness you only get with a strong relationship but at the moment its seems just a dream but hey be positive I am sure one day it will happen better to wait than to rush into things right 

Numb / Encore

It was my 27th birthday yesterday I had a very enjoyable and relaxing day reading by the fire sat next to my cat. In the evening I went out to Rusholme for a for a curry with a few friends. Namely Nina, Bruce, Jo, Holly Nic Becky and Phil, of course I took my new camera out though Holly wouldn't let my photograph her, photos here. It was a pleasant evening relaxed chat nice food and a few pints. After the meal Bruce Nina Phil and myself went for a few more drinks in Varsity. I kind of felt like heading into town but no-one else was really up for it so I decided to save the money for Barcelona next weekend.

So another year has past bringing into sharp focus the fact the am aging. In just under three years I will be 30 a very scary age. What will change in that time? Will I move out? Change jobs or even meet the girl of my dreams? In truth I don't have a clue nobody can predict the future. Sometimes I feel like I haven't done or don't do anything with my life time passes but somehow things don't really seems to change. This is of course not true. I went for a jog this morning, it was a beautiful autumn scene the sun was shining highlighting the colours on the leaves I felt quiet alive despite being out of breath as I was jogging past Jonsey's house I thought about my past the years spend in the barn drinking and smoking my life away. I could be still working north miles away, in some horrible relationship worse than being alone. Really I have a lot to be happy about its just sometimes it hard to see the good when everything feels so dark. So here is to a year of being happier and enjoying life more.