I saved the world today

I am wiped out tonight I have been really busy this week getting everything ready for the big software upgrade on Sunday. It has been pretty manic trying to knock off remaining issues. Unfortunately working fast and on several things at once has introduced nearly as many bugs as it cleared. I made a real effort today spending the day trying to debug everything. I think it was worth it as it finally looks as if we are ready to go live, as a bonus it also helped me to ignore the news from Maia. I started to put together an implementation plan and realised I have modified a rather large number of programs tables and data its going to be a big upgrade indeed.

I felt so tired after work I just could not find the strength to get to the gym, instead came home watched 4400 pilot warmed by the fire. Raining and wind are pounding my room, its dark and horrible outside it only makes my mood more dark.

I am getting a bit worried having major wrist and elbow pains I think it might be some sort of repetitive strain injury. I think its because I use a laptop for work its going to be a real problem if I wasn't able to work. I guess maybe it could also be I overdid it at the gym and using a keyboard makes it worse. I am really afraid to go and see a doctor but I am not really sure what else to do. What if they said I had to stop using a keyboard I would lose my job my career. I also am rather afraid of doctors irrational I know but I am a plenty irrational most of the time.

I am off for two weeks for Xmas I might hold on until then take it easy on the PC front give my arms some rest. I know its stupid to blog when my arms hurt but hey what difference will a few minutes writing something I enjoy make when the damage is already done.

Paperback writer

Just had a text out of the blue from Maia, she wanted to tell me shes getting married. I replied and told wish her congratultatons. When my ex and longest term girlfiend Jenny told me she was engaged I felt almost entirly without emotion. I had not even thought about her for a very long time so I hardly was a surprise she was moving on with the life. In this case though this one text message caused me almost physical pain. I thought I was over her, well not over we never existed as a couple only a strong link. Clearly my heart is ruling my head on this one, my head know sit would never work and there plently more fish in the sea but still I feel why not me?.

Oh well back to work, back to trying to forget.