Thursday, February 22, 2007

Lux Aeterna

I think I might have realised why I like the idiot so much. I think I might just be a little too much like the Myshkin character. Prone to long bouts of self reflection, check. Get lost in though sometime unable to concentrate on what other people say because so much is going on inside, check. Prone to make statements far too revealing, honest and at times naive, check. Oh dear it appears the questionnaire I filled in which said I was most probably bi polar and should seek assistance now might have been correct. Unfortunately I cannot claim to be as virtuous as the man himself, I guess I hope I fall somewhere in between him and the vain yet unfulfilled Ganya. One of the strongest features of the book other then Dostoevsky dark versus light is that both good bad, and indifferent people strive for the same things in life (though for different reasons). In this case Myshkin, Ganya and Rogozhin all chase after Nastasya.

Reading the book I was reminded of a conversation I overheard at work one of the staffers was talking about another in quiet unfavourable terms due to his lack of success with women. I took exception to this for too reasons first because I believe the author of the criticism to be a hypocrite of the highest order. You see I have it on authority that he regularly plays away from his wife and family, something I think is utterly despicable either. If someone lacks the emotional courage to leave something that dosn't work, or feel they don't have enough with their partner that something else cant hurt obviously has rather deep emotional problems. If something is worth making a commitment to you should be able to make the choice and visa versa, that is in fact one reason why I have ended several relationship because I never want to feel locked into something going nowhere. To me its is a feeling much worse than being alone.

On an unrelated note I bought the requiem for a dream soundtrack it was on offer and I have always loved some of the tracks. It basically classical music by Clint Mansell a modern composer. A lot of the tracks are done several times in different styles reflecting the darkening of the film as the cast fall deeper into their drug addiction.

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