Because / 30 Days to go

It took me three goes to start this post nothing much happened today, I cleaned my car, had lunch with the folks and spent the day doing nothing in particular.

Its 30 days until I leave for China I am very excited, though also slightly afraid. For the first time in my life I will be a country where I will be the outsider. Even in Belarus I fitted in

Today was April Fools day. By the time I was up and at em we were already past the 12pm threshold where the joke comes back on you. Its one of the first years something in the papers did't totally take me in. Hopefully its a sign of wisdom ;)

This evening I went out with Ian, always a dangerous plan on a Sunday evening and this was no different, we drank we laughed and chatted. I had more drink than was a good idea for a Sunday evening but not enough that I can't blog. Though perhaps I shouldn't.

I was feeling a little on edge because someone I have been chatting too in a virtual world has started to play a part in my real world. Coupled with this I am troubled with questions about my life, am I doing the right thing, should I make some changes? Am I the arrogant bastard M or L seems to think I am? Tough questions without a reasonable answer in my alcohol fueled state.

I think I often take the path of least resistance, sometimes it the right choice you cannot spent your whole life fighting. The difficulty is knowing the right path. In one bar tonight I saw some images from the Louis Theroux piece on the American family Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas. They 100% violently against homosexuality touting banners like "God is your enemy, I also saw an anti Diana poster though why I don't know (the sound wasn't on. What worried me was these people looked like normal were white bread Americans.

counting down for cookie's visit - 30 days left

Once i asked cookie that if i could do something for his visit, his reply was easy: the only thing you should do is to help find me a hotel and be patient waiting. so i came out with this: we together write a blog here to memorize, our happiness our sadness during this waiting period. later on i think i will also put the traveling schedule on, thanks to blogger with its stage, as well as the time difference did something good anyway, cause its 2nd April by my time while 1st day by yours. n__n so lets get started.

as far as i could remember the first time we both got to know each other, at that time i was a colleague girl with dreams & curiosity, i didn't realize the guy i was chatting with would really come in front of me in real, but cookie said we would meet one day, i believed him.

Transient

I decided I would do something usful today, so I replaced the converter on one of the lights, mowed the lawns and helped my dad to replace some floorboards. It was rewarding it a little frustrating seems like there are just so many jobs that need doing it is impossible to get on top of them.

My parents got a take away curry as a reward for ou efforts, tested out the Bahrinda in Cheadle Hulme. It was pretty tasty maybe not quiet as nice as the La Qualia but a but cheaper.

Phil and I headed out for a beer, we made it as far as the unicorn though the atmosphere was not great there and I still felt full after eating. I also fel pretty tired and Phil has Akido in the morning so we ended up being boring came back to my house and watched cars. It was fun film, not as good as the previous pixar films but worth watchign for sure.

Stop it your killing me

This evening was a bust. I left work late, after a day of rather difficult testing. After only a week and a half away from the gym I found it incredibly hard to do 60 minute on the treadmill I had to slow down twice to get my breath. Not a great state of affairs, it's annoying how much effort and time is required to build up fitness. Yet it requires no effort and hardly any time to lose that level of fitness.

After all this I was running late to meet Jo Berger for a drink. He is in the process of setting up a Friday night drinking session. I elected to drive as I was running late and met up with Jo, Tom and Ben in the Rampant Lion. I just about had time for one drink, then it was off to Fallowfield. Phil rang and there were all sorts of telecommunications problems, no idea why bt I could hardly get a signal anywhere in Fallowfield. Rather than drink in Fallowfield the plans switched it was off to a house party.

At this point after being cut up I wasn't able to follow Joe. I decided really I needed relaxation whereas this palaver was making me annoyed very quickly. The party was in fact an Ann Summers after party. My now foul mood coupled with my inability to drink because I had to drive meant the prospect of dealing with a group of drunken women was horrifying rather than exciting.

Instead I met up with Phil at my place, we chatted about the week and watched Requiem for a Dream, as Phil revealed he had never seen. It&£39;s a very dark film about the perils of various forms of addiction. I love the cinematography and soundtrack, the modern classical music has been used on so many other films.

Perspective

Phil sent me this from Google video, it gives a perspective on the mind boggling size of things in the universe.

With this, or upon this

Went to see 300 at the Printworks IMAX this evening, I have always particularly loved the story of the battle of Thermopylae, the idea of the heroic struggle the few against the many. It was interesting to see this take of it, it as the army of 300 Freemen Spartans versus the evil slave armies of the Persians. Of course it wasn't really as simple as this the Spartans had plenty of there own slaves the Helots, and the 300 were just the Spartan freeman there was probably more like 7000 solders. Even so it was incredibly brave to face the size of army that the Persians would have brought.

The scene where the 300 go off to battle made me laugh, no supplies only a shield sword spear loincloth and cloak on a march many miles from the capital :S I know they are hard but they do need to eat ;-) Overall I would give the film **** it was better than average a visually stunning and very modern take on the epic. I think I just found the politics and one sided nature a bit much, some people might dislike the amount of gore too.

I suppose the story is impressive because they were under no illusions that they had a chance of victory. They went out to the field out of honour, valour and in defence of their homes. We don't have to face such things the biggest challenges in my life are how to get a piece of code to compile or face a difficult co worker, so I am lucky. In a way though perhaps the lack of such grand gestures, the lack of battles to fight the sedentary nature of today's life is emasculating us?

Oh one final recommendation the IMAX is great the picture miles better and the sound was great, just don't sit near the front we were two rows back and at some points it was overwhelming the amount of visual input.

Lost in surrealism

After one last discussion over fonts, I finally managed to agree Ian's website design its now replaced the old site. While certainly not a masterpieces I think it is a vast improvement over the old one.

Spent the evening watching lost, the series has just gone insane I so many twists and turns I find it hard to follow what its all about. I also watched the breakup which actually was quiet good.

Bordom

I was at Japanese class tonight and the German girl was being a bit combative, I have no idea why but she seems to delight in having a go at Phil and I. This evening she was suggesting it was very strange for us to know each other from the same area and to still be living here.
At first I thought yeah its pretty weird but then I thought well is it weird or even bad, I do actually like where I live it is pretty nice village close to a city with quiet a lot going on there are far worse places to be.
I guess life is all about choices we are fortunate to live in an age where is possible to go visit different places even locate to other countries, just because some people do and others choose to stay at home doesn't make either choice a good or bad on,e there are simply different paths you can choose.

No2ID

Oh quick note, I like taking picture, I have hundreds, so I was interested to read this. More ridiculous feature creep for the ID cards then, to stop the general public using cameras without permission! Completely ridiculous!

Vacation vaccination

I had to go to see the nurse and be vaccinated agains't horrible things, the kind that only seem to be a problem abroad. I updated some other immunisations I really should have had like tetanus apparently the last time I had one was in the late 80's). Just like all nurses she was pure evil. Was there any need to stab me that hard? More to the point why did I have to have injections in both arms :'( I realise I am a total wuss but hey its not really that pleasant an experience, at least I was sparred the ignominy of having to pay to be jabbed they were on the NHS.

Thanks to this fun immunisation I had to arrive at work early, a task made extremely difficult as I had very little sleep last night, my cat woke me up just as I was getting to sleep thus making me totally awake again. Little b*stard at times I could strangle him. Being a cat he had no qualms about going straight to sleep on top of my newly wakened feet, I guess I am jealous sleeping 16 out of 24 hour seems like a nice prospect as times.

I spent this evening putting some more finishing touches on Ian's site, it isn't live yet but I think I have made a major improvement over the previous one. I am still torn about the font, I had been toying with the idea of using a san-serif rather than Georgia, I might see what Ian thinks it is after all his site.

You don't care about us

On Friday I saw something I have been waiting for a long time, Scan had Dell 24 inch flat panel monitor on Scan today only. I have basically wanted one of these since Bruce bought one nearly two years ago. It has taken me a while to save up enough cash and I really could have done without spending it before China however as we were planning a lan on Saturday it was just meant to be :)

I placed the order but had to wait until Saturday morning for the confirmation, the lan was to start at 2pm and as Scan was in Bolton need the Rebok arena. Typically the order confirmation was late, not arriving 11:12. I had already spent 15 minutes on hold listening to a loops of a women telling me how advanced scans ordering systems were only to find when I reached an operator she couldn't tell me anything!
Bruce and Phil wanted to pick up some bits, so I picked them up and we headed down, I only had to wait a coupld of minutes and my screen was handed to me 12:15 plenty of time to get back to the lan and set up. Only Bruce and Phil were still in the queue to buy, Bruce got his bits, Phil paid then waited, and waited and waited. 1pm came and went, I was getting panicky. I made fevered phone calls to Endo to see if he could go down and intercept any early people. He did but not quickly enough as two people came and went. Finally Phil got the call something he ordered could not be located so they gave him a free upgrade to a better model, a result but we were still late.

We arrived and got the keys in time to open up and put the tables out, but it was very rushed. Setting up there were some weird glitches, not sure what the new guys thought about it. All a little amateur night, oh well once the games actually started things seem to go pretty well I think everyone enjoyed it.

Attendance was down from the previous lan and because of mess-ups in the morning we missed out on two players, and were in a total rush all day. I felt very frazzled by the end, though I did enjoy playing except for stairs of doom which was just way too much.

For Paradize

Today I worked off site, which meant I had to work in the same room as my dad, it was quiet a strange experience. I basically tried to avoid him as much as possible, which is quiet difficult in such a small office. I picked my big boss up from the station he seemed in a good mood and was heading for a meeting at one of the customers in the afternoon. He never actually spoke to me which pretty annoying, guess Ill have to see what next month brings.

It was the budget today probably Browns last. According to the bbc I will end up being about £20's richer, wonderful!

You know some people just don't gel, they can be perfectly interesting and reasonable but put together they just react or fail to mix. I spent my evening in this sort of situation, I was sober and tried to calm down several conversations so now I feel frustrated and tired.

Pull it to pieces

I have just been looking for houses, I find it pretty confusing. So many people are telling me I should buy something anything just to "get on the ladder". My colleagues think I am a like a child still living at home, P actually told me that I should move out and rent I have no idea about the world. I really find that impossible thought I would hate to fatten the pockets of someone like Nick just to prove some sort of point about independence.

That said I do feel a desire to prove myself, to be independent and not so lazy, at the same time I worry I am being to conditioned by society to do certain things to conform whereas some of the most successful go there own way. As soon as I move out I might have an asset in the form of a home but I lose my ability to save, my ability to travel and to be free. I would gain a lump of bricks which might or not appreciate in value, but will definitely cost money.

I went to the pub with Phil tonight his brother is in the process of buying a place but he is a success having built up his own business, not just a company man like myself. I am in a terrible mood today, I argued with people at work, my mum laughed at the idea that I could move out and ebay is really annoying me. In fact e-bay have now closed my account thanks to a long running sore, they messed up applied a wrong charge to my aaccount. They promised me a refund on several occasions but didn't deliver, now they have then suspended my account. I wish I knew what to do on principle I refuse to pay for there mistake, but they have a monopoly on auction services in the UK there customer services is terrible and unforgiving, it makes me angry to think about it.

I am seeing my real boss tomorrow for the first time in a while I am hoping I can address some of my problems with him, I really feel like I need a change and if I cannot get one its time to move on. What I can move on to is debatable though, perhaps a total change to something new is needed.

Eyes - Rouge Wave

I started the day feeling happy and optimistic, I had a really great weekend spent with my friends kicking back and enjoying myself. Unfortunately somewhere in the soul destroying futility of work most of my good mood was dispelled. I am not sure whether the people I work with think its fun to bring each other down or just have no idea how destructive it is to constantly pressure, undermine and belittle people.

I escaped to the gym. During my cardio session I had plenty of time to think, even thought a friend told me I think about things far to much. Ruminating on life without really living it sometimes. Perhaps she is correct, or maybe I am just normal trying in the best way I can find to live. The trouble is I haven't got the answers, and nobody else has either. I have been given so many pieces of advice by different people with different agendas, it makes my head spin sometimes just thinking about the possibilities. There is so much I want to do yet I am no closer to anything tangible, I just need to make some choices for good or ill.

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Whilst messing about I found a nice add in for Firefox users who like a bit of colour in their lives, colorful tabs spices things up.

Lies damn lies and statistics

Have you ever wondered about the figures quoted? I just read this article. I found it intriguing that MS supremo Steve Ballmer used such incredibly self serving figures clearly to distort the real data.

Red Light Green Light

It was St PatriK's last night so a great excuse to go out with friends and drink copious amounts of Guinness. As we had so much fun there last year, we decided to head to the Kings Arms in Wilmslow.

Martin was proudly showing off pictures of his stupidity, he managed so shower yogurt all over his car, moral make sure the cap is fastened before vigorously shaking ;)

Martin, Phil Endo and Myself were first to the pub quickly joined by Bruce and Nina, then Adam and girlfriend Steph. We managed to captive the snug and sat talking eating and drinking. Martin Endo and Phil still had Guinness hats from last year and with it being the drink of choice it wasn't long before we all looked like merchandising gurus for the company. I really wish I had remembered my camera it would have made for some funny shots.

The Kings arms is a friendly old traditional style pub with an attached Thai restaurant next door. This was particularly great as you can order snacks from the restaurant, so rather than crisps you can have chicken wings prawn crackers or Chicken skewers.

I have a very enjoyable evening, people were in a happy mood, the bar staff were welcoming and the Thai food made for very enjoyable tapas style eating.

Ghouls and Ghosts

Work was pretty good today, it was dress down in aid of comic relief and the ICT department all went out for a Chinese banquet as a hello to the new project manager Roshine. It was the most relaxed day in ages so a welcome break form the norm.

In the evening I sacked off the gym headed out to the Rampant Lion with Berger and Ian for a few pints. Then it was on into China town for a meal to celebrate Emily's birthday. It has been a long time since I last ate in China town so it was quiet exciting. We went into Pan Asia a restaurant which served up cuisine from China, Japan, Thailand and Indonesia. I had a Chinese starter of Praw Toast seaweed a meat samosa and spring roll. My main course was Japanese style fried cod with rice and salad, it was very good and I even managed to use the chopsticks to a little.

Emily looked happy she got some nice presents including some rather fetching wellingtons (for the festivals this year). I had difficult speaking to anyone really managed to be sandwiched between the table and a post so it was a little uncomfortable.

To make matters worse sat opposite were the crying girl we met at Emily's party a few weeks ago. She confirmed my view that she is an incredibly high maintenance girlfriend. She sat eating mushrooms declaring it would make her sick then after the meal started talking about how sick she felt. To mind mind it was a deliberate tactic to gain attention the sort of trait that really annoys me, I have no idea how her boyfriend puts up with it.

Ian was driving and took us (Emily and Andy grabbed a lift) back on what must have been the most bizarre route I have ever encountered. He followed a diversion and ended up driving right out into east Manchester towards Failsworth before hooking us round back past the city of Manchester stadium, through the slowest traffic lights ever then finally back into Fallowfield. Given the late hour of the meal and the amount of time touring Manchester we decided to call it a night.

For Reasons Unknown

I have been a bit lax on the old blog's recently, partly because I have been busy, but mostly because I am lazy ;) I finally finished the Idiot on Wednesday, it was a great book but ended in such a sad way.

I have started reading Sun Tzu the Art of War, which teaches the art of defeating an enemy possibly without actually fighting. I only just started but its only a short text so hopefully I will soon be able to win many battles. According to the preface its actually tied closely into Taoist thinking, in that an enlightened general is the ideal commander able to bend to the changing circumstances.

Wednesday evening I went to the gym with Martin, then relaxed at home. Last night I went for a cardio session at the gym tried to do 5km in 25minutes and failed miserably. You need to run at 12km/h to do 5km in 25 minutes I only managed about 5 minutes at that speed . In the end reached just over 4km running at 10.5 km/h.

I spent the rest of the evening working on Ian's new site layout I made a minor breakthrough so now I am much closer to having a new template.

What Can I Do

Today was a strange day, a new project manager coordinator started at work [for the customer]. This is the third one since I have been there, hopefully she will last better and be less annoying.

I managed a 60 minute 9.3KM run very good for me but rather put into the shade by a colleague who is entering the London marathon for the second time. Oh well I guess a few years ago I struggled to make 12 minutes walking never mind jogging. In life the only really competition is oneself, everyone else is running a different race. I have nearly got to the end of the Idiot. It has been a difficult thought rewarding book to read. The characters are so well drawn and the self examination makes me examine some of my own feelings and ideas.

This evening I spoke to a Czech girl who contacted me on icq after a brief conversation about shopping she seemed very keen too tell me escorts didn't get paid enough unless they rather literally sold their asses. It was rather a surreal conversation with someone I know no further that a few lines of text on the screen but never mind was a rather weird conversation.

Went for a drink at the thieves with Nick, Jono, Phil and Bruce, it was very busy some sort of quiz going on. Nick looked so tired he was virtually dropping asleep at the table we were say at. It was good to see him but I worry about how much work he takes on. Perhaps its because I am lazy and would never be able to tackle the same. It sounded like Bruce was bumping into some sort of trouble with his house purchase I think its only a small matter but annoying never the less. The owner is basically trying to squeeze more revenue out of the current tenants before Bruce takes over, at bBruce's expense. I would be wound up by it too.

Where do old computers go to die

I have been given two old computers play with, an Atari ST 520 and an Acorn A3020 I have yet to exactly work out what I am going to do with them as yet. I am used to own several Acorns and hope to have a play with this one see it I cant find a use for it, as for the ST I never had one and have never used one so I just wanted to have a play.

I had a major falling out with my parents this morning, I just wanted some quiet time but my dad had other plans, so I cleaned my room spent some time on right move then went to the gym to relive my frustrations. I really think after I get back from China I am going to put my efforts into finding something for myself, I don't think I can wait another few years, and I want to be out before I am thirty.

I watched Lost in the evening with Bruce and Phil, its really descended to a shadow of its former self but is still watch able, just about. I find I no longer care about the characters anymore, I have no care if Jack Kate Lock or Sawyer die this episode or the next or live forever. A sad state of affairs for a show which was so gripping in its first series.