Student Moan

I am vexed! I went home for lunch to find I have received another statement from the student loans people today depressingly payment of £1000 has only cleared £600 off the debt and my previous interest charge has been revised upwards. Thanks very much SLC!

Opening the rest of my mail provided further annoyances, the inland revenue has rejected my corporate tax form they want to see more documents quiet why I have no idea the idea of chasing my for documents when I owe nothing seems quiet absurd however that's what they want so will have to compile something for them more work. I make so little of my hosting "enterprise" I cant afford to hire an accountant to put all the figures together. The government really must hate small businesses because they pile on a lot of needless paper work.

At least work is going well I put my changes on to the training system and it all seems to go pretty well.

I saved the world today

I am wiped out tonight I have been really busy this week getting everything ready for the big software upgrade on Sunday. It has been pretty manic trying to knock off remaining issues. Unfortunately working fast and on several things at once has introduced nearly as many bugs as it cleared. I made a real effort today spending the day trying to debug everything. I think it was worth it as it finally looks as if we are ready to go live, as a bonus it also helped me to ignore the news from Maia. I started to put together an implementation plan and realised I have modified a rather large number of programs tables and data its going to be a big upgrade indeed.

I felt so tired after work I just could not find the strength to get to the gym, instead came home watched 4400 pilot warmed by the fire. Raining and wind are pounding my room, its dark and horrible outside it only makes my mood more dark.

I am getting a bit worried having major wrist and elbow pains I think it might be some sort of repetitive strain injury. I think its because I use a laptop for work its going to be a real problem if I wasn't able to work. I guess maybe it could also be I overdid it at the gym and using a keyboard makes it worse. I am really afraid to go and see a doctor but I am not really sure what else to do. What if they said I had to stop using a keyboard I would lose my job my career. I also am rather afraid of doctors irrational I know but I am a plenty irrational most of the time.

I am off for two weeks for Xmas I might hold on until then take it easy on the PC front give my arms some rest. I know its stupid to blog when my arms hurt but hey what difference will a few minutes writing something I enjoy make when the damage is already done.

Paperback writer

Just had a text out of the blue from Maia, she wanted to tell me shes getting married. I replied and told wish her congratultatons. When my ex and longest term girlfiend Jenny told me she was engaged I felt almost entirly without emotion. I had not even thought about her for a very long time so I hardly was a surprise she was moving on with the life. In this case though this one text message caused me almost physical pain. I thought I was over her, well not over we never existed as a couple only a strong link. Clearly my heart is ruling my head on this one, my head know sit would never work and there plently more fish in the sea but still I feel why not me?.

Oh well back to work, back to trying to forget.

Feature creep

Its taken a couple of days to get over Barcelona, arriving back from that sort of trip at 10pm and getting up in time for work at 8am the next day are totally contradictory. I have been a little in a daze and there has been so very much for me to do. The last few months we have been slowly improving a number of aspects of our software culminating hopefully in an upgrade on Sunday, however people seem to keep finding last minute tweaks its not good I would have put a moratorium on if I could however the choice is not mine so new changes keep going in. It's really hard to stay on top of things

I have tried my best to keep everything maintainable and well documented but the pace is so quick so shortcuts have had to be taken. We did a load test today it the changed held up a heck of a lot better than last time however a few new bugs were discovered I hope I can fix them quickly.

Japanese was fun tonight we tried doing some speaking / listening exercises pretending to be someone else so I was a female Belarusian quite funny really. I have enrolled for next years term so looks like this is going to be a long term thing. I am enjoying it but I its hard. Tonight the college had a kind of gathering afterwards I tried to make a Crain but it was a bit of a mess really it was nice to have a chat with some of the other people from the course though.

Viva Espania

All good things have to come to and end and this was our last day in Barcelona. It was only a short trip after all. We had been saving the best for last after though. After packing and checking out we headed off to waterfront for a final and very tasty tapas lunch sat out in the sun. It was lovely just sat there eating watching the waterfront and the people we took it leisurely and drank a local beer with the food.

Saving the best for last the next destination was Sagrda Familiar. This place just truly blew my mind.  Firstly the sheer size is mind boggling then I started to appreciate just how ornate and intricate it is. I think if I didn't have a plain to catch I could have stared for hours as it was I managed a walk around a few photos and we had to leave for home. A walk, metro to the train and we were back at the airport headed for home.

Saturday in Spain

The weather took a slight turn for the worse (you can see in the washed out photos) the temperature dropped to 16c and there we some small showers at lunch.

Undeterred Phil and I headed off to Montijuic riding the metro to Placa d'Espanya. We then went on a very long walk indeed from there up the many steps of the Font Magica.

Stopping at the top for the most expensive can of Pepsi ever 2.50 Euro! Then round the rounds to the Olympic plaza and stadium stopping to look at the massive communication tower.

Finally we headed up to the Castell de Montjuic which we walked all the long way round opps. The view from the top (when we finally found it) was spectacular, you could see the port on one side and the whole of the city on the other. Certainly worth the walk.

The cable car we intended to catch down wasn't running so we had to walk some more down to the Metro station. Feeling tired we went for a few hour Siesta then out for a Japanese meal then on for drinks at you guessed where Margarita blue ;)

More Barcelona Tales

Friday the weather was nice (by English Standard) sunny and about 19c. After getting up late with hazy head Phil and I explored the remaining part of the Ramblas and Gothic quarters. We grabbed a sandwich from a little shop neat the hotel, it seems rather than butter/spread they Catalan spread tomatoes on their bread. It is actually very pleasant especially with Iberian ham (a little like Parma ham).

Consulting the guide I read that the Picasso museum is the single biggest attraction in Barcelona so we decided to go and take a look. The museum occupies several old buildings knocked together to form an impressive space, its laid out in chronological style so you can see Picasso go through many styles from more traditional through to cubism. You get the feeling he just never stopped painting three is just so much work there and you can really see the different styles combinations and influences. The only negative is that there are none of his really famous works and the layout can be a bit confusing several times I wasn't sure which room was next. It is certainly worth looking around you see a lot of excellent artwork.

In the evening we went for probably one of the best Thai meals I have ever eaten at a little Thai place neat Estacio de Franca. After which we walked down to Port Olympic to check out the night-life. I don't know if it was the time 11pm or because it was off season but it was dead most of the bars empty and lots of aggressive sellers trying to push is in. We had a drink in the Irish Sailing club watched some boxing then headed back to Maghria Blue. It was heaving the barmen were working together in a production line to make enough Mohitos!

Back from Barca

Had a great time in Spain, they just have so much more of a relaxed culture. Enjoying good food, excellent drinking and plenty of fun this city is simply a joy to get around. There is always something else fun around the corner. The pics are online here

Lost Passport

Phil and I arrived at Barcelona after two hours a cramped but quick Monarch flight, he was mumbling and fumbling around in his bag as we approached passport control, I went through he stood there for a few minutes fumbling then ran back to the plain, a few minutes later he sidled up to passport control looking sheepish the women sighed closed her booth and disappeared off with him. After 10 minutes he finally got through. He left his passport on his seat but by the time he got back tot he plain the door was closed!

Trains to Barcelona

We decided to grab the train into the City it was only 4.40euro for the both of us it was pretty quick two we were in the city in about 30 minutes. Things started to go wrong here I got confused about the stations we got off at the wrong place wasted a ticket on the turn style stupidly before finally working out the blindingly obvious underground map. Fortunately we kept our cool and made it to the hotel. Very well placed on Via Laietana, right on the edge of the Gothic Quarter.
After a checking in we went exploring the Ramblas, which are the old part of the city full of narrow streets populated with shops bars and restaurants. We had some excellent Tapas for lunch then wondered around some more winding our way round and round the streets not quiet lost but not entirely knowing where we were.

Evening

After a siesta shower and change of clothes we went out for a meal and quiet drink. We eat a rather nice Paella and drank the local beer, then we tried out a number of the tapas bars eventually finding our way to Margarita Blue. This was a cocktail bar Ian would have been proud of and was our last stop every night. Located a short stomp away from the hotel. It offered great Mohitos on tap and measures that cheered our hearts. On the first night we chatted to some English girls who were studying in Barcelona to be honest Phil did most of the chatting I was feeling pretty drunk at this point. We made it back to the hotel at 3am and slept in late Saturday. I got woken up by the cleaners hung the DND sign on the door and went back to bed ;)

Quest Complete

I spent most of the day lost on the final journey towards the dark tower, after reading 7 books and investing so much time in Roland's journey I was eager to see how its ends. To find out whether in fact he ever reaches that tower. I think King himself sums it up best it7's the journey / quest which is the story not the ending which I think comes too fast several plots are dispatched quickly in a clumsy finish to what has become an epic journey. I will have to find another story to get lost in.

This evening Phil, Bruce and myself went out to watch Snow Patrol at the MEN arena, it was the first time I have managed to get standing tickets there so it was a bit of a treat. I have really enjoyed Snow Patrols last couple of albums and they didn't disappoint playing all their hits and a few less known songs like star fighter pilot. They sounded great and had a wonderful lighting show. Snow Patrol are less of a jump up and down band they I have seen recently (except for Regina Spektor) they still managed to get the crowd going especially with the more well known numbers.

I am off to Barcelona in the morning I am very excited about it cant wait o go wondering around. This will be the last post until I return late Sunday, but never fear Ill make sure I get plenty of photos and stories posted on my return. Until then as Roland would say "long days and pleasant nights”

1 Million Marlboro Lights

I didn't do much with my afternoon though I did find that thanks to the glacial progress of electronic funds transfers I have doubly paid my credit card this month, once from my savings account then they direct debited the full amount because despite it being 5 working days later the fund have not cleared. To be honest I despair the system is so slow but what can I do I will be bit short this month only the fact I got paid a bonus has really saved me.

This evening I went to Japanese a few little things there are starting to fall together I can ask an answer a few simple questions and even read a little now though I am still a long way from fluent. At the end we had to pretend we were someone else and give their details so I pretended to be my Belarusian friend interesting pretending to be a girl. Considering the others included Peter Pan and David (the only gay in the village) it wasn't such a strange choice.

After Japanese Phil and I went to see Sandbox at the Night and Day cafe Manchester, we just arrived in time to catch the start of their set. It was pretty good I thought they all looked a little flustered it was hot inside the place. I suggested to Lennie they have a range of Sandbox branded fans to help them cool down as this isn't the first toasty gig they have done. I managed to finally catch up with the chief for a short chat. The next band was a bit crap and the pa was hurting our ears combined with the fact Phil is working tomorrow we decided to make a sharp exit.

On holiday

I have the week off so basically I am kicking back relaxing and enjoying myself. So far today I have watched a film, sat by the fire then read some more of the Dark Tower, its really sad two of the characters have just died strange after spending so much time with them (this is the 7th book) they had taken on lives of their own. I must be getting old being affected by characters in book book eh!

I guess th dark tower is a metaphor for life the struggle, happiness loss all in the pursuit of a higher purpose. I guess most of us would like to be like Roland to feel as though we have a higher purpose to serve, well at least would. So often I think what exactly is the point.

Oh well got a few fun things to do tonight, first Japanese class, then going to see Sandbox play. Been a while since I last saw them missed the last gig / ep launch thanks to the lan bash so it will be great to see them again.

Complicated

On the way home from my time out at the Bulls head I got a text from Maia, first one in weeks it woke up all the stupid feelings I had one part of my wanted to message back and tell her where to go the other was so excited to hear from here. I really need to learn to live without. I sent her a message along those lines and did not receive a response I guess it wasn't what she wanted or expected to hear.
I am pretty much over her now but still alone so pitifully alone i just hope some time soon there will e someone who actually wants me.

Lunch at the Bulls Head

 
I went out for lunch with Ali Mike, Nick and Becky, it was great to to see them again and Isobell shes grown so much I can hardly believe its been close to two years since she was born, time really has flown.

Mike and Ali are close to moving away which is a shame I guess it will mean I see even less of them :(
Becky was making me lauch you can see how much see loves Isobell and wants her own children I don't think Nick feel exactly the same way though I am sure one day he will at the minute he is occupied with empire building.

Myself I would like that sort of closeness you only get with a strong relationship but at the moment its seems just a dream but hey be positive I am sure one day it will happen better to wait than to rush into things right 

Numb / Encore

It was my 27th birthday yesterday I had a very enjoyable and relaxing day reading by the fire sat next to my cat. In the evening I went out to Rusholme for a for a curry with a few friends. Namely Nina, Bruce, Jo, Holly Nic Becky and Phil, of course I took my new camera out though Holly wouldn't let my photograph her, photos here. It was a pleasant evening relaxed chat nice food and a few pints. After the meal Bruce Nina Phil and myself went for a few more drinks in Varsity. I kind of felt like heading into town but no-one else was really up for it so I decided to save the money for Barcelona next weekend.

So another year has past bringing into sharp focus the fact the am aging. In just under three years I will be 30 a very scary age. What will change in that time? Will I move out? Change jobs or even meet the girl of my dreams? In truth I don't have a clue nobody can predict the future. Sometimes I feel like I haven't done or don't do anything with my life time passes but somehow things don't really seems to change. This is of course not true. I went for a jog this morning, it was a beautiful autumn scene the sun was shining highlighting the colours on the leaves I felt quiet alive despite being out of breath as I was jogging past Jonsey's house I thought about my past the years spend in the barn drinking and smoking my life away. I could be still working north miles away, in some horrible relationship worse than being alone. Really I have a lot to be happy about its just sometimes it hard to see the good when everything feels so dark. So here is to a year of being happier and enjoying life more.

Bonus new toys and fun nights in

Hurrah got my annual bonus today, well I say I got the tax man took rather a large proportion so it wasn't entirely mine. After the tax what seemed like a great deal of money transformed into just over a months salary so it was like being paid twice.

I decided bugger it I have already bought my holiday so I went al out today went out and bought a lovely new camera, had to do a bit of haggling but managed to get hold of a brand new Ixus 900ti, it's 10mp. Though I had to take the first model back as it had a fault with the zoom after getting a replacement I must say I am impressed its faster, lighter smaller and has a better screen and quality than my old Ixus 330. It definitely paid to haggle, I paid a heck of a lot below the sticker price, still more than the internet but I guess thats the price for ability to walk into a store it wasn't so bad to pay a few pounds more. I decided against paying the premium for a memory card from them. They wanted £49.99 on the internet I have seen £9.99 in the end I paid £14.99 from the computer store across the way just to save time.

I spent the rest of my bonus paying off a few little debts and topping up my isa not most money i have spent in a day since I bought my car I think, felt kind of good it a little excessive.

This evening I had a night at my house watching dvd's films and eating pizza it sounds fairly pedestrian but I had good company with Nick Phil and Bruce. I kind of wanted to go out but it actually was a fun evening to spend with friends chatting laughing and enjoying crap films. It even made up for the rubbishness of Miami Vice, Its terrible I am not even going to bother with a break down its too long lazily directed, I think the best thing this film had going was the advert featuring the JZ Linkin Park mash up numb encore nuff said!

Espanol

Bought myself a birthday present this evening a short break to Barcelona :) Should be a great laugh. Phil is coming with me, I did invite a few other people but they either didn't have the money or the time. I managed to get a hotel in the near to the Old Town which my guide book has me believe is pretty central. Its not exactly hot there but BBC weather shows it as a lot nicer than cold rainy Manchester so should be a great trip really looking forward to it. Think Ill have to dig out my teach yourself Spanish CD!

I watched a great film this evening called matchstick men starring Nicolas Cage as a jittery con man who discovers his 14 year old daughter (and himself) whilst pulling of a series confidence tricks.

New keyboard

There was a delivery waiting for me when I got home, unfortunately nothing really exciting. I bought myself a new keyboard. My Microsoft natural has finally come to the end of its life many of the keys are sticky including the space bar. So I have upgraded to the modern version the natural ergonomic keyboard. It was £14,99 from Savastore.

The keyboard is black and a lot more fancy than the original natural it has extra media keys a padded wrist area. The only media key I might conceivably use are internet and calculator but I guess they are nice features to have.
The most striking feature is the raised natural it sits about an inch in the air with a huge curtain under the keyboard elevating it from the desk. The keyboard is very tactile and responsive with the naturals distinctive split center, the keys are shaped wider in the center and do feel well positioned though its going to take a bit of getting used to. I am tempted to bye another for work its an excellent bargain for the money so long as you can deal with the naturals layout a lot of people hate it.

Hax

Someone tried to hack my photo gallery last night by creating a user account and uploading a tainted php file embedded in a rar archive. I looked up the details on coppermines website.
They seemed to spend a long time crafting this attack though I dont think it worked due to my using the latest version of Coppermine. I checked in a few other areas also and found nothing so I think no damage was done however as a precaution I have disabled new user registrations.

Details below

Referring Link http://www.google.com/search?q=Powered by Coppermine Photo Gallery register.php .info&hl=ar&lr=&start=30&sa=N
Host Name 58.29.2WAYS.client.divona.net
IP Address 195.78.29.58
Country Monaco
Region Monaco
City Monte-carlo
ISP Provider
Returning Visits 0
Visit Length 1 hour 33 mins 38 secs
VISITOR SYSTEM SPECS
Browser MSIE 6.0
Operating System Windows XP
Resolution 800x600
Javascript Enabled

Venue hunting

Had a crap day at work wont bore you with the details but it sucks when people keep chaning their minds and thus cause more work. When colleuges are unsupportive or even downright idiots.

I spent two hours at the gym after work cooling off it acutally it propelled me to do some extra difficult weights so not a total waste of engery.

Bruce I and spent the evening hunting for new possible venues for the lan bash, we needed somewhere cheap not to far and on the ground floor. I dont fancy lugging alll that computer equipment upstairs. We tried a number of places in Bramhall Handforth and Cheadle Hulme. Mostly they were shut but a couple we managed to get into and have a chat even found one possible. Met some interesting people, its only a certain type of person who drinks in a memebers only bar like a legion. The owners seemed pretty colourful people too!

Smash it up

Saw this on the register it seems some Canadian guy's queue up to buy a Play Station 3. Only to take it outside and sledgehammer it to death in front of waiting crowd!

Its not the first time either they have done an ipod a xbox and a Nintendo Wii

A Bad Dream

I felt very depressed at work today; felling bruised there has been too many days of frustration too little praise. In truth I am afraid my upcoming birthday has highlighted the fact that another year has passed and I haven't really done anything with my life. I mean ok I faced some of my fears and went to Belarus where I made some new friends. The bad news is that I still live with my parents I am still single still working the same job unsure where my life is heading.

So that's the bad news what's the good? I am in a better position than I have been for years I am no longer in debt, I have learned to save and am slowly building up a deposit for a place of my own. Only two years ago I was spiralling into the modern debt trap of credit cards, loans and ever spiralling debt for life that's all behind me.

I'd say I dream of meeting someone who would make it all worthwhile, but I know that I need to feel I am worthwhile first. I am getting there sometimes its hard to look up and see all the wonderful things around us so often it seems everything is dark but really a lot of the world is bright and alive just need to open ones eyes look past the cold and rain at those autumn colours, at friends and fun times.

This evening I caught the 157 to Cheadle and had a few drinks in the Hesketh with Bruce. The place has changed immeasurably since it was my old stomping ground in days long gone by. At Ridge Danyer's College drinking with Ed Trinder underage getting fat and really wasting my life away. I like to believe I have come a long way since those days.

Steven King on DID

My parents were listening to the Radio this morning and on the Desert Island Disk program Stephen King was being interview. He even choose a Beatles song you can check it out on radio 4 listen again :)

The Names Bond

Did almost nothing today, had no energy at all very bad must go to the gym tomorrow. I helped a friend with their Uni work, it was actually quiet interesting to argue a few points I guess its one thing I miss. They are writing a thesis about the changing population dynamic in the UK something which is kind of in the news by proxy at the moment thanks to the pension's debate.

I did manage to get my haircut and to start reading the final novel in the Dark Tower series I can't wait to find out how Steven King wraps it all up. I might even read a couple of his others to see how the different stories intertwine. The end of Song of Susannah had a lot of notes from Kings Journal I don’t know if it's real or just written for the book but it was interesting to see where some of his ideas had come from. He seems to be really good at taking themes maybe even just a sentence and using it to build ideas round all very clever.

Caught the new Bond film this evening it was very popular had to catch a 22.30 showing as all the earlier ones were sold out, and the 22.30 showing was pretty full.

I was a little worried about Daniel Craig as Bond but after seeing Layer Cake I though it might work. I have to say he did an excellent job, more like Connery he reintroduced an animal instinct but tempered with a more human side. Gadgets had a much toned down role in this much more physical film. The opening sequences were stunning and whilst the action gets a little stayed in the Casino and the ended was a cop out I still think this is the best Bond in ages.

It cold tonight and I am tired so that's all he wrote.

Confusion

Had a productive day at work though found out the people working round me are mostly pedants who what everything just so.

I had the opportunity to meet Jo and Ian in Fallowfield but I felt so tired after work I just didn't have the energy. I also want o go away for my birthday so I need to be a bit conservative with my money. Looks like Phil is the only person that wants to come with me. Its s shame I have asked quick a few people but money seems to be the obstacle.

Tonight I went round to Phil's house for a chilled out one, watched three films and drunk cans. Deuce Bigalo Europe was unspeakable bad. Duke's of hazard was a little better but nothing like the show which wowed me when I was a kid. I can remember running round excited because it was about to come on. Even ignoring the arrival of my cousins in my excitement.

I guess I have either outgrown the feeling or the movie just did not push the correct buttons.

I was speaking to the girl I am interested in, well in a textual way. I was there was a way to meet her but there seem so many barriers not least my feeling that its impossible for her to really like me. I wish I could spend the evening or better the weekend with her.

Where is this going

Just got back from a quiet evening at Phil's, we were looking to book an away adventure for my birthday but couldn't agree on destination the choices on offer seem to be Prague Barcelona Milan or Belfast. Personally I would like to get to Barcelona or Milan I haven't been to either yet. I will attempt to book tomorrow when my head is clear.

Originally a load of people said they would come but everyone but Phil has cried off for various reasons, mostly money. It’s a shame I would have liked more people to come. My first trip to Prague was extra good because so many people came too.


Tonight sat at Phil's I realised despite everything my life is the same as it always has been while in some way I have challenged myself I still rely on my parents, I live an easy life in their house the same one I have my entire life. It is amazing really I can offer no end of excuses the high price of property my single status or simple fear uncertainty and doubt. The real reason might simply be its too easy to be here perhaps it is my aspiration which are low, or maybe societies are too high encouraging people into debt and bondage to the government.

I am convinced that the government are encouraging debt as a tool, as once we have the monkey on our back we are forced to tow the line. To keep the crappy job to follow the rules not to get fined. Why is debt encouraged (taxt free) whereas savings are discouraged (taxed or needlessly complicated like ISA's). I worry about society forever becoming more litiguous, more restrictive less individual yet at the same time we have never had less of a communal society. Ruled by tabloids easy solutions to complex problems which are usually just a band aid on a broken arm.

How much does this cost

I have just been adding some calculations and there was one that might be useful to anyone getting a loan. Forget APR its too easy to hide costs instead.

TAR (Total Amount Repayable) = Monthly Repayment * Term(in months)
Cost of Credit = TAR - Amount Borrowed

Example

Principle loan amount£5000
Term 5 years (60 months)
APR of 7.5 (this takes into account £150 fee).
Monthly repayment is £99.56
TAR = 99.56 x 60
TAR = £5973.60
Cost of Credit = 5973.60 - 5000

So you can see the cost for borrowing £5000 is £973.69. Lenders are obliged by law to print cost of credit onto loan agreement but some of them do funny things with fees and ppp so I would run a quick calculation of your own. This gives you a realistic figure by which to compare loans with.

Fax Machines of evil

It took me ages to get to sleep last night I laid in bad few ages listening to the wind and rain pounding walls. When I finally did drop off I feel into a really pleasent deep sleep only to be rudely awoken at 3:20am by my phone ringing and ringing. I staggered out of bed picked it p only to hear the bleeping of a fax machine :S Stupid fax spammers arghhhh

Blue

I fancied a change of colour so I changed my blog template it still dosn't show the profile image though. I am not sure yet to be honest so it might change again before too long. The aim was for something a bit lighter I think the contrast is a little low on the black template for some screens.

I went to Alliance and Leicester at Lunch to open an account I had to fill out some forms and be given a load of prompted information (ironically the sort of messages I have been adding to Advances). She also tried to give me the hard sell on income protection, I am not quiet sure what use for that I would have I have such little outgoing but anyway. I now have to wait for some sort of credit check then hopefully I can be free of First Direct before I have any charges to pay.

Headed to the gym after work I am starting to get back to where I was before Belarus and a month off its hard work but a few more session like that and i will be back on track I think.

I had a chat to Lulu earlier she was interested to see my pictures of Stonehenge and Bath and the explanation of Stonehenge itself amazing to think it was build over thousands of years by different people probably for different purposes.

Just watched a rather terrible film National Treasure I guessed it would be poor but it really is terrible.

Arghh First Direct of EVIL

I heard something very annoying on the news today first direct are going to introduce fees for current account holders who deposit less than £1500's a month (or who hold a balance of less than £1500's. Two things very much annoy me about this the first is that the news appeared on the news before First Direct told me about it. The second thing is that according to first direct because I earn slightly less than £1500's a month I am a "dormant" customer. I always felt that having my wage paid in monthly and using it as my current account was pretty much active use.

I decided some time ago to be proactive with my finances, that is how I ended up moving from Barclays to First Direct. So I have just taken a look on uswitch and on the fool a few accounts spring to mind. Namely Smile Alliance and Leicester Cahoot and HBOS. If anyone has any recommendations please comment!

Bears

Bruce scanned in the photo of Maia and I with a bear, Cheers mate!

Starlight

Japanese class was actually quiet good tonight, there were a few people away and that seemed to help people along a little. Also for the first time really I felt like a few of the sentences were coming together a little. Though I am still at a very basic stage its pretty gratifying for me to start to understand a few basic sentences something I have never been able to do in anything other then English before now.

If like me you spent a load of time randomly surfing the net I have found one way to make a little back from the time invested. I have been doing a lot or surveys recently I am signed up to several survey websites. They are pretty easy usually only taking a few minutes to fill in just ticking some boxes.

There seem to be a lot of websites which will pay for you opinions either in money or in reward points (like I-Points). Over time I have signed up to quiet a lot of these companies with varying degrees of success. I have accrued load's of I-Points and hi points which I find to be fairly useless. On the other hand I have had real cash payouts from at least three agencies. I think probably about 60£'s which is not much but basically money for nothing.

In my opinion the site who give away points are fairly useless, cash really is king. Aim for sites that offer real financial incentives, like Ciao or yougov.

They both have restrictions in that you need to earn over a threshold before you can claim (£ for ciao &50; for yougov). Both yougov and ciao have sites have regular paid surveys. Others like Pure Point pay cash but rarely seem to have surveys, or like harris have lots of surveys but only give points and prizes. I have done loads for Harris but all I have is a heap load of Harris points which can get my some cheap tacky crap.

In other money related news I finally decided to Cash out my mutual.net shares I got them for free and they are now worth £100 give or take. I decided to take up the reduced dealing fee £12 instead of £20. On the face of things it’s a growth company making a profit. However its in a really competitive market dosn't pay a dividend and has a difficult to follow business all the sorts of things a value investor should shy away from. As I already have a lot more speculative cash tied up in other areas I decided to take profit on this nice freebee cash and pay off some debt.

Boring Monday

Somehow I managed to get through work yesterday by the time I got home dreams of going to the gym were forgotten though. Instead I spent my evening filling out a VAT registration form. Which I must say was far easier than I expected. By the end of the month I should have a VAT number so I can sort out all my accounts in time for filing them in December.

Then I watched the next couple three episodes of lost I am upto episode six now. The story lines seems to be opening up and improving a little but its nowhere near as compelling as the previous series.

I only have about 1/4 of the Song of Susannah left to read and as I am still waiting for the Dark Tower to arrive I have somewhat slowed down my reading speed, I don't really want to be left on a cliffhanger. Stephen King has been pretty clever in drawing in threads from his other books it makes me want to read them as well.

Just Friends

Last night I went round to Ian house to watch a DVD, I feel awful this morning. The day was innocent enough I spent time chatting on the net, moving some more photos from web album to my gallery. All of the return to Australia ones are now there.

I even managed a trip to the gym, did my leg weights exercises which make my legs feel rather jelly like this morning. I was a bit bored in the evening my parents were hogging the lounge so I was pleasd when Nick invited me over to watch a film. Ian and Bec's were there, and Ian and I headed out to get a film, collecting Phil on route.

Nick surprised us all by asking us to buy wine and pizza but and I quote "not the cheapest one". Wow I never thought I would hear him say that. Fortunatly for us Tesco had an offer on margaritas which we spiced up by adding ham and Salami.

As Becky was about we decided to rent a comedy and choose Just Friends. This is a comedy about a guy who spent his high school years in the friend zone. Years later he is successful, thin and popular however a return to his Jersey home and a chance encounter with his old flame lead to hilarious consequences. It turned out to be surprisingly funny (especially after several Carlsberg's).

After the end of the film Becky and Nick went to bed and Bruce (who arrived in time to catch the start of Just Friends) left. Ian, Phil and I stayed up drinking and watching Fearless. Which is an excellent Jet Lai film (beware it in Chinese Language so if your like Phil and hate subtitles this might not be for you). We chatted and drank some more I ended up home about 1:30 half cooked after drinking so much cooking lager. It was an enjoyable evening though relaxed and fun for a change :)

Crystal Ball

"Hear my song, fading out everything I know is wrong"! It's hard to follow milestone posts I almost feel like I have reached there so what next what new lets do something different. However being a creature of habit here I am again writing to the world + dog.

I had a chilled out day today tried to get on top of some work started writing a cocktail generator for Ian using PHP so far its going slow but its fairly new to me, hopefully soon there will be something to show.

I started to write a new guide I thought as my DHCP guide is fairly popular I would produce a short article on how I created the loopback DNS for the LAN bash. Hopefully it will prove useful to somebody.

I managed an hour at the gym dispite the fact I felt completly drained today, funny how simply sitting trying to get bits of software to work as required can be so draining.

Tonight went for a curry with Nick and Becky, I had failed completely to get Nick computer back on the internet for some reason his pc no longer wishes to connect to my wireless network I think it's a radio issue but why its decided now I cant explain. Becky is starting her own company and apparently wants me to help her design something. Fortunately she has some concrete ideas so hopefully I will be able to put something together. I felt kind of weird being out with them thought they are my friend and I enjoy their company I cannot help feeling I am doing the job of two people when I am out with them. There is someone I would have loved to introduce but she is far away, why cant things ever be simple?

Post 300

This blog has been going since July 2005 and has just reached a milestone 300. I originally started to help my Chinese friend Lulu keep up with what I am doing with my life. Over time I have gained a few readers god know why you keep coming back but like any author (am I really allowed to call myself that) I enjoy that fact other people enjoy my work.

I noticed something amusing about that first post, other than the fact I am still talking about the same people I was even then talking about buying a new camera and though I enjoy taking pictures so much I still haven't. I think I will get one for my birthday.

Today is another red letter day I finally after months and months have my living room back the decorating and finished I even have TV again Wahoo. Actually the thing I enjoyed most was sitting on the couch enjoying the warm from the fire just relaxing drinking a beer, that is what living rooms are for.

Bruce came over he and Nina have enjoyed their stay in Prague by all accounts, he brought me back a Matushka which featured Prime Ministers of England very funny response to the Matushka I brought him back from Belarus. We were going to catch up with lost but Bruce accidentally deleted the ones we wanted to see so instead ended up watching the world is not enough. The last time I saw this was on my birthday a few years ago with Phil. We watched it and had a massive curry at the Garam Massala ended up being too full to go out anywhere.

I spoke to the girl whom I argued with the other night this evening. I think we ironed out a few things. I apologised for taking things too far and being far too unhappy the other night. I think I even managed to repair some of the damage. Unfortunately despite a mending of things events have conspired against us. We talked of plans but I think in reality it is unlikely (though it would be pleasant) if we see each other again. I think that it is a shame, but it seems like I am doomed to like people that I don't really have a future with, perhaps thats part of the attraction?

Call Centres

I managed to reinforce my view that all centres a waste of time by phoning Standard life. I had been reading their website, in particular the section about divideneds. There is a paragraph which states.

We currently intend either to offer shareholders the opportunity to take their dividends in the form of shares rather than cash, or to reinvest their dividends in Standard Life plc shares. If you would like more information please contact your local shareholder helpline.

So I contacted the helpline only to be told I new more than the operative, sigh. One wonders which bright spark on the internet team decided to invite people to phone up without training the people on the phones. Oh well so far my shares have proven a good investment regardless of the quality of phone line support hopefully this will continue.

Another brick in the wall

I did something quiet funny but slightly dumb today, I was playing around with a stress ball bounching it off the wall I got a bit enthusiastic and launched it a bit too hard it bounced off the wall am smashed a roof tile oops! I was so shocked I just looked at it whilst the people opposite me laughed. Fortunatly it wasnt really broken just dislodged, I ended up covered in dust for the priviledge though.

It reminded me of a game I used to play in my youth. Back then I used to play Rugby and when visiting opponents especially dirty ones (as in playing tactics not standard of hygine) I and some of my teamates would leave a mark by knocking a hole in the oppositions changing room roof. Naughty but extreamly funny, once nearly got caught left a white tray in the hole and nobody noticed.

I went to the gym after work and now my arms ache I always seem to overdo it though while I am there I often feel I am not pushing myself hard enough. Hard to find a compromise I guess.

Clearing up

Had a weird day at work today a different senior programmer turned up, apparently he is taking charge of development. I think I can learn something from him but at the same time I find it pretty daunting to have to show yet another person that I am worthy or merit. In fact I almost feel like I no longer have the energy too act like a circus animal again. We shall see how things pan out.

It was a little annoying once again I could have done with staying late to make a good impression and finish things off but I have to leave for Japanese class after work. Its the only night I really have to leave on time typical!

Japanese was really hard I am not sure I will ever manage to understand Katakana it seems to make sense for a few seconds when I learn then when put on the spot it all floods out of my head.

I feel fucking useless this evening I can' seem to do anything, I wanted to make a few changes to Ian's site but I just ended up making a dogs dinner of my test site. After having a colleague giving me the third degree all day it really was not what I needed.

Got a text from Maia the first one in a month to tell me the her boyfriend had come to visit her. I know its terrible to be jelious but I cant help it I wish it were me, but it isnt and never will be. I deleted her number off my phone least I do something stupid when I get drunk. Straight afterwards another chat person started talking to me shes always been a bit hard to deal with at times but tonight it was too much I was probably a bit unfair to her but who is she to always judge me? Our conversation reminded my of Friday night I remember chatting up some girl things were going well until I mentioned some throwaway line about not enjoying the place because it was a bit cheap (it is a weatherspoons cheap as chips) I think she thought I called her cheap and started into a tirade about her coming from Lacey Green (a council bit of Wilmslow). I guess thats like me this chat partner just brings out the worst in me its like she knows exactly what to say to dig the knife in, its a shame at one point I thought she was actually going to end up being a friend of mine for real.

I just want to go get on a plane to somewhere, anywhere just away from this place anymore. From all the people telling me what to do and how to live. Away from conflicting ideas, wasted days, feeling washed out, inadequate, unloved and pointless. There must be more to life than this?

These thought's and the strain I am under

Work was really annoying today, in the works of Dante Hicks "I'm not even suppose to be here today". Originally I had booked a holiday that I had to cancel for something which was meant to occur but didn't actually happen.

I am only just debugging a project which has been in the testing phase for over 6 months the people who requested it have only just got around to testing it despite it being marked as high priority on the project plan. That damn plan laughs at me evertime I look at it the works stretches well into next year and its not getting any shorter. More requests are coming in all the time most marked high priority or ASAP. Well currently ASAP is months not days or weeks. Its all very frustrating, already the weekend feels a very long time away.

After work I went for a run it chilled me out a lot, as I arrived home I saw Martins 4x4 outside. He had come around to help my dad fix the radiators back in place. It looks like the decorating is nearly done might even get to use the living room in time for my birthday that would be nice. Hats off to Martin he certainly seems to know his stuff when it comes to heating systems.

Phil and I practised Japanese for an hour I am finding it so difficult I guess I need a lot more practise. We had a gander at Alison's web page it sounds so cool to be on a cruise ship diving all the time and having fun with the crew.

Ian came over later we did a little work on his website its running a bit behind schedule I am going to try and put together a cocktail generator for the site. I am hoping it will teach me a bit of PHP and make Ian's site more desirable.

I got a bit of a shock I found out the while we were out drinking in Wilmslow on Friday night that there was a mass braw in which one person was stabbed and killed just down the road. Very scary stuff I have never thought of Wilmslow as a dangerous place but I guess that too much alcohol causes people to do crazy things. I do not really want to speculate on the why I dont know any details I just thinks its terrible someone life can be taken away for what some stupid argument the world is a savage place at times. It made me think about what would have happened to me if the young kid whos blood ended up all over me during the fight in Cheadle Hulme we broke up had a knife I might not be here now scary stuff.

Gunpowder treason and plot

I arrived back from Bath about 6pm just in time to get changed and make it to Woodford fireworks display. I went with Nick Becky Mike Ali and daughter Isobel. I haven't seen Mike and Ali for ages for it was a really nice treat. Isobel has grow, she seems so changed from last time I saw her. She was dancing with Mike it was very cute.

The fireworks were really good though a little short, there were a lot of people there so hopefully it was successful for the community.

I met up with Phil afterward he watched the fireworks from the Legion this saving on the entry fee. We popped round to Martins he was having his annual fireworks and BBQ. Given the good weather for November and the amount of fireworks he managed to procure. The display was pretty funny especially as Si kept aligning them under Martins tree causing unexpected trajectories.

Was good to see Martin and Endo Si and the rest don't really see to much of them these days.

Its been a pretty hectic weekend for me I am feeling tired but happy I saw a lot and enjoy my time I hope to see some more soon.

On another note I finished the Wolves of Calla only two more books of the Dark tower remain I cannot wait to see how it all ends. Stephen King's imagination is truly awesome, I only wish I could have such an insightful mind.

Bath

On the way back from Stonehenge I decided to stop off in Bath and have a look around. Bath is a lovely place, I found it lovely had a walk round the abbey acress the Pulteney Bridge which has shops on either side like the origonal London Bridge would have done.

Saw some fantastically expensive houses in a place called the cirus. Its like a big roundabout with a grassed area in the roundabout and a circle of houses round the ourside. They look nice have to be really to justify the £650,000 asking price.

I walked into the Jane Austin museam and the baths but they were both (in my opinion) too expensive so I just walked round some more saw a couple or parks then ate a rather nice Thai meal and headed home, mmm tom yum soup is so tasty.

Salisbury

Salisbury is a little Market town city near to Stonehenge I spent the night in the youth hostel. The YHA is a short walk from the town centre pretty well placed really.

On driving up to the youth hostel set back in a tree lines area on the outscirts of the city. I was on a high, feeling good after seeing Stonehenge. The YHA's main building is a beautiful place old structure. I was ecpecting a lot, unfortunatly the actual rooms were in a wooden building around back. Not quiet so nice but it was a warm bed.

After checking in I went walking around the town. I soon got a feel for the place its a very pretty market town city. I went in a few bars but did not really feel like drinking. Almost by chance I found a cinema and decided to catch a movie, Borat.

The Salisbury odean inhabits one of the old buildings. I guess that limits what they could do with the place, I found it one of the most uncomfortabe and frankly weird cinemas I have ever been in. The couple in front of my were cuddling except his arm was resting on my leg as the legspace was so limited, this was on the main screen as well I dread to think what the others are like.

Borat was very funny mostly, complete car crash tv in some places. I personally was a little scared by the naked chase bits.

On Sunday Morning I visited the Catherdral which it very big and impressive. The spire is truly missive but dignified with its pretty stonework. Unforutnatly there was a service so barly saw the inside, and part of the outside was covered with scaffolding.

The final picture is of an ancient market place.

The anonymous poster really must not have a very fulfilling life if they spend their evenings correting peoples blogs!!

Stonehenge

I decided that I want to see more of the UK so today in my slightly worse for wear state I drove 5 hours to see Stonehenge. Photos here

The drive was long but not too bad really only a few minor Birmingham related badness moments with roadwork getting onto the M5. Once I started getting close to Salisbury the drive started to become really fun, driving along A roads is more exciting for starters. The weather was good the sun by this time shining and the sky clear autumn colours in the leaves open fields and picturesque scenes.

The first sign of the Henge was a car park; you see that about a minute before the place itself. On arrival English Heritage are firmly in control everything is managed, access is buy a tunnel under the road then you walked slowly round the perimeter of the site. You can get close enough to touch only gaze from a distance. You do get to listen to a rather patronising talk for example at the end of one seciont I was informed "press 44 that's 4 and 4" in case I didn't know!

The stones themselves are impressive you can easily imagine how ancient people would have been awed by the site as the made there way to it I just with it wasn't all so stage managed.

After walking round the stones I went to walk round the barrows which are ancient graves not far from the stones walking though friled round these and staring at the henge from a distance gave me a much better feel for the site then the English Heritage tour.

Friday night at the Bollin

Another Friday Night, Paul is in town, he is staying at Ian's this time. The group ranks were swelled with the addition of Phil, Woller, Danny and his new lady friend Jen. After much confusion about transportation we eventually taxied ourselves to trooped off to the Bollin Fee in Wilmslow.

Drinks were cheap and boy did we consume plenty of them. It was a fun evening I got to know Jen a little which was nice she seems like a lovely person I hope she and Dan are happy together. To me so far she seems a more outgoing person than Lyn.

I made a fool of myself trying to dance and drinking too much but I had a fun evening.

Stupid Blogger

I am going to avoid work today least I fall into the trap of work becoming my touchstone its getting close but I am still enough of my own person not to be overwhelmed for now.

Three people this week have all told me they read this blog, so sometime in the future they are going to pass over these word's I am typing into my screen right now. It is quiet a strange feeling for me I have never really felt interesting enough to imagine people actually listen to anything I have to say. I hope in some small way I provide enjoyment for people out there (you can always comment ;). Strange really this all started out as a bit of a vent, in fact my Chinese friend Lulu was the one who perswaded me to start writing. Thanks to the wonders of Google most visitors stumble upon is via a search rather than direct route. I certainly never imagined anyone would ever read it seriously excpet maybe Lulu its all her fault really.

I have also slowly climbed up Google's page rank, I used to sit several pages down behind the sites dedicated to John Cooke Bourne or one of the other more famous John Cooke's. At the moment I am riding high appearing close to the top. I guess this is my 15 minute moment.

As usual in blogs I have been side tracked. What I wanted to talk about is the forces of chaos. Tonight I walked into the John Millington and saw Victoria loitering at the bar. My first thought was how strange, but then I realised its not really so strange. She initially contacted me after noticing a post about that very establishment. A part of me wanted to go chat to her when I saw her at the bar but I wimped out instead went and to get some cash.

I had gone to the John Mill with Nick and Becky I hadn't seen them in ages we have both been away and had plenty of stories to tell each other. Becky was quizzing me about Maia and other details of my non existent love life. It looks like she is about to start her own business, I think I might soon be trying to bodge together another website for her. Nic seemed pretty tired it seems he hasn't let up in his relentless desire to own most of Manchester; indeed he has bought a transit van to replace the mini van I went to get with him only a few months ago.

I am tired and probably typing rubbish time for bed, night

Fun in the sun

I received an email from Alison this morning, she updated her blog. Its pretty sporadic thanks to the fact she is on a cruise ship. Her photos make me incredibly jealous its looks so wonderful out there its been so long since I went diving must be amazing to get paid to visit these amazing places i think I am in the wrong career.

Talking of wrong careers something I didn't mention yesterday was my horror in hearing that some council employee from Birmingham earned £90,000's including bonuses and overtime allowance whilst off on long term sick. So whilst the government are hassling me for extra taxes they are wasting money paying light bulb replacement men (he worked coordinating traffic light repairs. I despair about the world when I hear things like this).

Waiting for the sun

Its gone cold today, almost without warning the temperature has gone from mild to sub zero. Walking out of work to my car I felt a chill in the air, but after a gym session I walked out to very chilled air and steadily freezing windows on the car.

I saw one of the managers from work at the gym; I was running round the track I think he said more to me in those few minutes than in the last few months at work. I managed quiet a reasonable cardio session tonight 5KM round the track 20 minutes on the new step machine 15 minutes on the x-trainer and some abs work.

I got home to find another letter from the Inland Revenue, now not only to they want extra taxes off me they also want me to complete a tax return. This is a most upsetting occurrence as tax returns are rather long complex forms and I really have better things to do with my life. I would like to say I cannot think of reason why they are picking on me, but in truth I can think of at least three without even trying.

1. (Paranoia)I once got a tax rebate for £1500 and they want it back!


2. (Burocracy) Thanks to me getting free medical cover I didnt pay enough tax (by £105.16)


3. This is the mostly likely. I run a very small web hosting company. It is run as a company to limit the liability. The made a profit of £180 last year I have a feeling that the tax people think its some sort of fiddle.

In order to make up for my tax troubles I went for a pint with Bruce he has been in Gloucester this week and is going to Prague on the weekend after his cousins wedding (on a separate trip his isn't going ton the honeymoon!). Makes me kind of wish I was going in a way but hopefully I will still enjoy myself in the UK.

Had a pretty stupid argument with someone online last night I haven't exactly got over it yet, sometimes I just let things get to me I can be pretty argumentative and I usually see the worst in things so when faced with someone who has equally as strong opinions things often end in conflict. I often had the same problem with Jo B though we are good friend's these days. I guess I need to learn to be more patient and to not see the worst in things thought that is not too easy when all too often the worse happens.

To end on a positive note though I feel good this evening I have had an enjoyable evening I am looking forward to seeing Paul Ian and the others Friday night then seeing Stonehenge on Saturday.

March of the Penguins

This evening I watched the film March of the Penguins. I is not quiet as good as a decent David Attenborough program but not far off well worth a watch if you like nature programs. The penguins have a kind of quiet majesty about them. Serene in the lifestyle totally geared towards the survival of the species. I guess that is life. Its all about the survival of the species damn happiness, sadness joy and pain in the end its only the species that really matters.

I heard on the radio that elephants joined a select group of animals; in that they are self aware they recognise their own reflection like humans, grate apes and dolphins. Strange really to think such ability as to see ones own reflection is actually an evolutionary masterpiece.

Today I my colleague looked as stressed as I felt last week, this time his domain was crashing about his ears whilst his colleagues were away. I did my best to help but it just shows how overstretched the systems part of the business is really relying on a few key people is a sure sign of problems.

I was speaking to someone on ICQ this evening who thinks I should be grateful for everything I have. I tried to explain that life is in the end all down to perception. Yes things are great compared to people in the developing world who have to worry about the next meal, but in the end that's not whom I will compare myself against. I look towards my peers and compared to them I am doing very poorly. Further I don't believe I am meant to be happy that's simply a mistruth our reason for living isn't to be happy but simple to perpetuate the species unfortunately on that level too I am not doing very given the distinct lack of a partner, oh well.

Fortunately I was saved from the depths of the conversation by Phil on his return from Aikido. We went for a couple of drinks and had a chat about work and life, things are going well for him since leaving his job he seems to have picked up some decent works as a contractor which is great makes me think long and hard about doing the same. At the moment I feel like my career is stalled I am a trainee developer who has only ever had 8 days of training. Despite many promises I am still doing exactly the same support role as the day I started. Just this week some contractor got hired to do the sort of work I want to be involved with on over £300 a day. I don't expect that but wouldn't it make sense to train me too? I guess not to my boss.

Blogger Problems and Murphy's Law

I have been having a few issues with Blogger of the last couple of days I haven't been able to publish anything. There is no explanation on Blogger's site but other people were complaining about the same issue on the message boards. I have been trying every so often since Saturday finally this evening I was able to publish again.

From one fuckup to another, a server crashed over the weekend causing major panic at work, as usual in these situations Murphey's law made it happen at the worst possible time when the backup server is also out of action thanks to a hardware fault *sigh*. Fortunately this time it isn't me that has to stay up into the small hours this time but my colleague poor lad. I did try to help by knocking up a program which (touch wood) should help speed things along a little.

One of my ex's contacted me today. She wanted to tell me she was moving house and back in with the guy whom he once broken off their engagement and once walked out on her. Now I know this might seem like its none of my business and I have never met him but he sounds like a complete twat to me why she feels like she can't do better I will never know. Oh well none of my business these days I told her I thought she was being a fool other than that I good luck I hope things work out different this time.

I have a couple of extra days off this weekend and have decided it might be fun to see something of England I was thinking in honour of the Celtic / Pagan new year I might go and see Stonehenge seeing as I have never been there. I might even drop into Salisbury Cathedral as well; catch some of the things tourists come to see in the United Kingdom.

I want to do something stupid

Just got back from a gym session my body is totally tired Just like the other day I had to tone down all my weights and even go for a couple of walks in between some of the more taxing sets. It is amazing that in only just over a month of not doing weights how much power I have lost, so difficult to build up so easy to lose!

What is normally a euphoric experience was partially messed up but the thoughts running around my head. I kept thinking about Maia how can she have forgotten me, why can't I forget and get a clear head? A question haunts me, "why does no one love me"? Maia fell for some German weirdo before the Italian, my god he was into taking photos of his Barbie dolls! What the heck as the Italian chap got that I haven't except a tan and a pass to Italy. So the stupid thing I want to do is phone her demand to know why! However that is about the worst idea ever so instead I will try and forget.

Further thoughts have been troubling me. I have known at least three girls who after finding out I still lived at home suddenly lost interest. I don't know if its lucky escapes from gold diggers or women just want to find someone who is master of their own destiny and can take care of themselves.

I need to break out of this I felt so good a couple of weeks ago yet is often seems like everything wants to drag me down. Problems at work, and women; especially when they seem keen one moment and then not so. Not no one where I am going or what to do next weekend I have two extra days off I was planning to go to Prague. I loved Prague but part of the reason to go was to visit a girl I know there. Not quiet the same situation as Maia, I met Kelly in Manchester we went out for a drink had a good time but since we have only talked sporadically, I talked about going to visit her after getting back from Belarus but since we have been pretty distant so its probably (almost certainly) a stupid idea, anyway I need to move on not retry past mistakes. Instead I am going to go see something in the UK where I am not 100% sure yet hopefully it will prove to be a fun adventure.

Six Mile Water

This week has been pretty tiring, not just because I had to stay up late working, though that sure added to the problem. I think mostly the good feelings leftover from my holiday has gone replaced by an empty confused feeling.

Yesterday was the 11th Lan event, more computer games, more pizza more fun. Based at the legion as usual Phil and I had picked up the keys last night so we were able to set up at our leisure. A couple of people decided to turn up way before the event started which was slightly annoying especially as they are the more demanding clients. However undeterred we set up quickly like pros. Despite earlier feelings the turnout ended up lower than expected. A few new people turned up though; also one returning guy from Lan number 2 came again. He now has a new pc, complete with a really cool display on the front. I enjoyed the day even though I was certainly too tired to talk to Chris after a full day of his questions. The games all seemed to go pretty well though we never got HLstatsX working shame but oh well. I guess the next one will be Christmas only not long now folks!

I washed my car earlier and for no reason at all random trains of thought started going though my mind. I remember thinking out the different types of intelligence. I thought of several distinct types, first that quick sharp intelligence the one that works like lightening, creator of retorts, quick jokes and sharp words. Second is the deep knowledge it can be slow or quick the ability to call on a body of evidence to remember quotes dates and events and use them to back up arguments. Finally there is the practical intelligent some people are just able to look at problems and see the solution. That eureka moment going from a to c without passing through b. Most people are a composite of these types falling somewhere into the mix I have found it very rare to meet people who are well versed in all areas. Just thought I would share that weirdness with you ;-)

Hip to be square

I feel so tired I have gone beyond tired but more than tired I am currently angry. I have a number of reasons to be unhappy mostly the normal things the tax demand pissed me off a great deal but I think the icing on the cake today had to be a comment from the IT manager. I have stayed up two nights in a row later doing out of hours work this afternoon my mind wasnt focused at all I was tired and I asked to go home early (at 4 insted of 5.30) rather than say yeah sure you have done a good job recently he started to lay into me about a worklist which I hadn' completed. Well no I haven' that is correct because as usual priorities have shifted other jobs have come up but hey I have worked an extra two evenings I am worn out I can sit hear and pretned to be productive or I can go home and rest recover.

To make matters wrose I have found out once again I have been left out of the new software development a contractor has been hired I wouldnt have even known anything about it if a collegue hadnt phoned me to ask about some XML work. TO be honest is pretty much a joke I am not really sure how I can remotivate myself after all this.

I tried to cheer myself up chatting to friends on the internet but I just ended up in an arguemtn about religion of all things. I then went out for a drink with Phil but I wasnt in the mood in fact I should just have stayed in and rested I just feel angry and tired not a good combination.

Taxed to death

I went home for lunch and found a "really nice" letter from the tax man waiting for me. Apparently somehow I managed to underpay my tax by £120's last year, how remiss of me. I only paid £3900 in income tax, another £2100 in national insurance, £175 road fund licence and god only knows what other stealth taxes in VAT, insurance premium tax, fuel duty, stamp duty (on share dealing). On top of this I have a £70 a month student loan repayment! By my calculation I paid more tax last year than I earned in take home pay when I worked for Wilmslow high school.

I have been a life long Liberal voter but to be honest I really feel the labour need to go now! The illegal war in Iraq apart how is it fair I have such a tax burden placed on me? Why do I need to feed an ever growing government with its pork barrel spending to companies like Capita and Serco. What am I actually getting from the state other than poor services under investment in a crumbling infrastructure and a ticking pension time bomb?

Sandboxxed

My work task failed last night perhaps rsync wasn't the correct tool for such a massive copy job. I will have to try again tonight, this time I have exposed the backup server as an nfs share I am hoping this will speed things along...

The IT director came to have a word with me about the whole situation I think it is only about the third time he has ever spoken to me. So far conversations have always been because something has gone wrong. One day it would be nice to get a pat on the back but somehow I cannot see that happening.

I managed to sneak away 30 minutes early (I was hoping for an hour but never mind) so I went for a jog made it into Bramhall and back with wasn't bad. I still need a lot of work to get fully back into shape though.

Tonight I had arranged (rearranged actually but never mind) for Andy to come round so we could put together a holding site for the new sandbox on-line site. In all three members of Sandbox line up appeared, Andy, Lennie and Will. I was still feeling half dead from last night and encountered a few problems getting things to work but managed to migrate the forum database. I didn't have the correct template and everything was broken so I have to do a bit of database munging to make it all hang together.

Now I get to do another night of file copying and trying to get the server back working again. God I feel tired I could really have done with a couple of cold beers this evening but had to keep a clear head.

This week has flown by in fact the time since I arrived home has zoomed past each day takes me away from that place where I was happy for a while. Its like Australia all over again, I was so happy for a while then the dream ended and I was back in England again, dreary cold alone bored and unhappy. These last few days I cannot shake the feeling everything is wrong there must be more than staying up late working for crappy job. I remember speaking to Endo's mate he was complaining how crap his pay is he named a figure it was 2500 more than I earn. I am smarter than him surely I should be able to do better?

Goodbye Mo

I feel somewhat like work has taken over my life recently but here it comes another work related post. Today was Mo's final day. I felt quiet sad to be honest she was one of the few people I got on well with. Morning was difficult there were a rash of small but important bug suddenly raised. I only managed to get through because I new we were going for luncheon.

The IT/IS staff and myself went out to the King William pub for a bite to eat, I had a rather tasty but totally overpriced homemade burger and chips. We all wished Mo good luck then it was back to work.

Had a distressing 30 minutes after receiving a phone call from Ian. He told me his email had failed; I checked mine and found it was down. PANIC!! Fortunately after some tense phone calls it turned out the PIX firewall had crashed one reboot and everything is back. Just shows I need to get myself in gear and get the other server sorted. Soon!

At 5pm there was a gathering to hand Mo a card and present I released somehow I missed out on the collection and card signing and felt rather small. I don't think she noticed as the present was big and the card had a lot of signatures, but its pretty stupid of me. I wished her well in her new role and went to the gym feeling like a complete twat.

I had not done a weight session since before going to Belarus and found not only couldn't I lift the same weights I couldn't even get through my program. I am going to need to take this seriously from now on.

Tonight Bruce and I spent more time setting up the lan server it is looking pretty good though we are having issues getting one of the stats services running. As usual all the preparation is at the last minute despite the fact we have had the LAN date for months. I really hope this one goes well,

Right now at 12.15 I am dialled into work trying to fix a server issues out of hours, I think I will be up for a couple of hours to come. I don't think I will be much use at work tomorrow but hopefully if I can fix this issue at least something will be running correctly.

Run to the Hills

Today was another day in paradise; the air conditioner is broken so we had to open the windows. This isn't an ideal situation when there is a busy road outside make it difficult to hear. Fortunately the smell of drains has dissipated, the air conditioner repair man says we need a new compressor so don't hold our breath waiting for a new one.

I spent another day trying to get my colleagues web service functional think I am finally there it still needs some error handling but at least it brings back figures now. It kind of annoyed me the way my colleague told myself (and everyone else) he was nearly done when in fact there was a lot of work to do. Mind you it has forced me to learn more and I think in the end it will be a good bit of code so I am staying positive.

At 4.45 and the IT boys got everyone off the system to fail over as the power was going down in our building. Power in the main building would still be operational. The switchover should have taken minutes, at 5.45 I left (15minutes late) for the failover hadn' taken place. Typical of technology really always goes wrong at the least opportune moment.

Japanese class was unbelievable the difficulty level has really ramped up. Eme was trying to teach us tenses using the days and dates we have learned over the last few weeks. It's really difficult a total departure from the way us English (and Europeans) treat grammar. They also have a fun way of shortening words, it's all very confusing I need to practise more.

I got home to find a message on my phone about work. Appaerently a controller card had failed on one of the servers which prevented fail over and they were having trouble getting services to restart. Luckly I rang back it seems that the problems had resolved and the servers will be online when I get in tomorrow. Thank goodness for that! Tomorrow is Mo's last day would be a shame not to be able to go out for lunch as planned because of a system failure.

Two comments in two days thats excellent going, lucky me. Hello Sarah, I do indeed I remember, you, very well in fact. Thanks for the feedback your most kind I only hope I can maintain your interest :) In fact Paul mentioned you and Simo in passing on the weekend.

Slam

I cut last night's post short due to the fact it was getting pretty late. Yesterday I spent the morning was spent with Paul. He played me a couple of his new songs which I enjoyed greatly. One of which was very good, almost a Thom Yorkesq dance track the other needed a bit of work but had potential. Its always great to hear Paul's songs I almost feel like I am part of the creative process feeding something back.

We played some more computer games, it's been years since I used a console system in anger it was quiet a lot of fun especially Mario kart. I remember the day I bought my Nintendo 64 with Mario 64 I think I stayed up most of the night playing!

I left about 7 and had a nightmare journey home I was going to go on the toll then realised I had no change so decided to go via Birmingham error! Lots of roadwork's complete with speed cameras very confusing and stressful at night and in the rain.

Work was a bit of a nightmare today not least because of the smell. Since the restaurant down stairs close apparently people have been clogging one of the sinks. It was full of rotting food and blocked up, a plumber cleared it but the stench was unbelievable. I also had to deal with a failure on one of the systems. I was supposed to dial in and fix tonight unfortunately my login has expired so I can't. I also got left a program which I was assure was nearly done just needed a bit of tweaking. Well I tweaked it all afternoon and it's still not working. It was productive day in that I managed to take out my frustrations at the gym rather than on people. I didn' managed to do any Japanese practise yet I will have to have a skim through at lunch tomorrow.

This evening Phil and Bruce came over and we watched episode three of Lost season three. I think that so far I have been unimpressed and this episode did nothing to rekindle my interest. Thanks to Becky for her comment, I always enjoy feedback. I still haven't found out who the anonymous person that claimed to have read the entire 2006 archive is any takers?

I felt truly rotten Saturday morning but I somehow managed to get up at 8 shower breakfast and get out by 9.20 I was on my way to Bristol. I arrived about 12.30 roadwork held me up through Birmingham but the M5 was a joy tore down it with happy abandon.

I managed to have a bit of a look round the city saw the Quay area which was very nice lots of fountains and outdoor art. I had lunch in a bar overlooking it all which was rather pleasant. I even went into the St Mary Redcliffe Church which was pretty spectacular. I think I need to do more of these trips travel around and see more of the United Kingdom I seem to know Australia better.

I didn't really fancy travelling all the way back I toyed with the Idea of staying down there however I had another idea popped into see Paul in Leamington its was a lot quicker than going all the way home. Even better I arrived in time to share Thai curry with him and Pippa. We stayed up and chatted about life played some games and watched the grudge (my advice don't bother and this was my second viewing). I played Mario Kart I had forgotten how much fun it is and how much I wanted to win (I think had Holly been there she would have been shocked at how competitive we all were).

Pippa went to bed earlier and Paul and I sat up chatting it was good to catch up we didn't really have the time to chat last week because there were so many of us out. Being at his little pad chilling out in control of things made me more determined than ever I must get my own place as much as I love my parents its doing me no good living here I rely on them and it makes me lazy and cowardly. Its also a real turn off to women they want strong independent types not mummies boys still living at home. If only I could raise that deposit!

El Condor Pasa

I have been away from my PC this weekend so apologies for the lack of posting. Ill start with Friday night and try and work chronologically forward.

Mo (the girl I work with) had her last day next Wednesday so we decided to go have a few drinks after work. There was a small irony in this as being a Muslim she dosn't drink and was fasting so couldn't even drink her coke until after Sundown at 6.08. It was actually quiet pleasant the other people from work were relaxed. After 3 pints I was a little sozzelled, Mo left and there was another group going into Manchester, I decided not to as I wanted a quiet night because of my trip to Bristol on the Saturday.

My dad was kind enough to give me a lift home, so I had some dinner and got changed sobered up. Phil called me and asked if I fancied going for a quick drink at the Rectory I said hell why not so we headed back to Wilmslow. Arriving at the Rectory to find it busy and not on top form. We had a pint and were about to leave when we bumped into Endo and his mate. Somehow things got a little hazy from here more drinks followed then more we headed to the Sam Finny more drinks followed before I knew it I was wasted making a fool of myself on the dancefloor.

Flawless

Went for a drink after work to celebrate (not sure if that is the correct term) Mo's leaving. Was a reasonable nice couple of drinks with the co workers my dad was kind enought to give me a lift home. I stayed too late though and missed out going to see a band with Jo.

My parents took the cat to the vet found out that he has an ear infection and need antibiotics. The vet did say that for such an old cat he had a really nice coat. He is asleep on my bed at the moment, poor old thing.

Yuk

My cat woke me up in the night by throwing up. Its been ill for several years with failing kidneys we take it to the vet every 6 weeks or so for a steroid injection. It is lso on a low protein diet personally I think its amazing he is still alive 19 years old has got to be a great ago for a cat.

However beeing woken up by the sound of him hacking up on my floor at 4.30am wasnt the most fun I have had this week. Fortunatly most of it landed on my British Computer Society voting forms rather than the carpet.

Yay

To help cheer myself up I have arranged to go to see Paul on the weekend. Hurrah it's always fun times with him. What with going out for Mo's leaving do tomorrow its going to be a hectic one not managed much Japanese practise yet :S

Oh Andy has come online going to help sort out his email night all.

All the things she said

Sorry for the lack of posts recently but there have been a few things at work and home that I could not publish but if I had started a blog these thoughts would have ended up on there. Things have calmed down enough for me to blog again without ending up in trouble I hope.

It's Maia' birthday today she text messaged me this morning to say the card I sent her had arrived amazing timing really, I wish I could claim I planned it to perfection it was really just luck with the post, I hope she has a good time. I don't know if its the end of the line for us I can feel we are drifting apart that bond we had whilst I was over there and talking to her on the phone her gone. She has the Italian for that now. I shall really miss the fact that someone out there needed only to hear my voice to be happy.

Work has not been good recently I have been feeling really frustrated with myself and some of the people I work with. I just feel like there is no progression for me I am simply doing the same old things everyday, I need to be improving myself rather than stagnating. In truth I am not sure what to do should I tell my boss I am unhappy with the way things are, carry on waiting for the next review starting looking for something else or start doing some courses, I am so confused!

Jono came over this evening inturupting a msn chat I was having with his sister Ali. She wants me to read some new age books about motivation and postive mental attitude. I am pretty dead set against to be honest I gave up goign too church I don' need any other qusi religion in my life. Jono then tempted me back to his place for tea and toast. I was meant to be going for a drink with Phil but he never turned up.

Fixed Mac

Another boring day of work but thanks to good feeling from the weekend I managed to get through.
Tonight I popped to the gym realising I have been very lazy and put on a few pounds and lost a bit of fitness did a 6KM run and 15 minutes of the bikes it nearly killed me but I got through.
Phil came round to help me fix my mac following a guide managed to swap out the hard disk. It was a pain needed to ask Jono as I didn't have a small enough jewlers screwdriver. I stupidly tried using a stanley knife after gonig through two blades I reliased I had to call round for help.
Have been listening to Slam by Pendulum thanks to Wooler playing it intensivly this weekend. Itunes is great sometime, mind you the album costs 9.95 on itunes but you can buy the CD for 7.99 from HMV online.

The Departed

After getting back from Andy's I spent the afternoon reading finished off Wizard and Glasss I think its the worst one of the dark tower series so far though it does provide a lot of depth to Roland's character
Went to see the Departed tonight with Phil, its a pretty good thought completly butal film. It was a typical mob film given an Irish twist set in Boston the action follows Boston Irish kingpin Frank Costello he has his fingers in every pie including the police force. Against this raw recruit Billy Costigan a kid with a family history tied up with the mob play goes undercover to get to inside Costellos organisation. PLenty of twist and turns follow. The action is brutal it reminded me of the gritty reality of a history of violence. It is well filmed and acted, definatly worth a watch as long as you like dark ganster films and can stand the slow pace and length (about 2.5 hours).

Trains to Brazil

Paul had come up from Leamington for the weekend and was staying with Woller. So last night I went out "with the boys" in Macclesfield. Jo Berger Riginhi also came out with us though they left earlier.

Everybody was in high spirits and after a few games or Mario Cart we stomped down to the Flowerpot for a warm up drinks. Jokes were told beer was drunk then another walk into the town.

Next stop was Weatherspoons more banter jokes and oggling on the local talent followed. I wish I could remember the jokes but mostly I just remember laughing a lot. I do remember that the bar was stupidly busy so we were forced to double up our drinks.

Leaving the Weatherpoons several pints heavier but one member lighter Righni had to catch a train, we stoped for a quick drink in a couple of places before taking the plunge and heading to Chicago Rock. Not my favoirte venue but hey after a few drinks and with a brillent £10 for entrie and 7 count them drinks it was fun. I even had a bit of a dance.

Grabbed a kebab and ended up back at wollers. On the way into his hous ehe managed to set the alarm off then put his music on full blast I am sure his neighbours wanted to listen to pendulum at 3 am.

I managed to be drunk enough to wack hell out of Wollers punch bag I have no idea why it seemed like a fun thing to do at the time.

Dungens and dragons

These are interesting times for sure, I haven't seen Phil all week since the Birmingham job he seemed very happy got something else line up.
Today was a nightmare for me thanks for someone leaving I got moved to another desk overlooked by the entire department coupled with a micro managing boss I don't thing I will last long.

I have spent the day doing the most boring task editing an excel document documenting fields there's are well over 2000 of them each taking a minute of so, it going to take a long time. Did I really study for a degree to edit excel spending my life doing the least meaningful tasks?

Tonight chatted to miss ??? reviled far too much as is my nature I am sure I will have scared her away despite her thoughts to the contrary.

I found myself at the unicorn Claire was there she looked fatter and less appealing than ever compared to Maia she was nothing I wonder if I will feel this way about Maia? Is this moving on? Why did it take so long did I not want to?

A weird episode happened to us this evening on arrival we [Phil and I] were sat near to a group of loud people. Eventually one guy came over to talk about the nature of existence and a girl came over to tell Phil he is a wizard and need to be open minded. It was weird hearing Phil drawn into thing I hope I am not that malleable, Personally I find any religion ever Wicca to be counter to my view but it sure sparked some debate.

I can't get Maia out of my head its the question that haunts me "would things have been different if I met her first?" its an insane track of though pointless and meaningless its happened I just need to deal with it and move on but somehow its impossible. I want her so much how was it I kept quiet why I hide my feelings am I a coward or a hero?

I know miss ??? thinks I am a loser did I damn myself twice? With the same words?

It must be nice to believe in something it's been a long time since I have had any touchstone,

Go Back

One of the people I have worked with since day one handed in her notice today. It won't be the same without her there will be no-one to make the tea for starters! No seriously she has been a pleasure to work with it will leave a big gap in the office space; I hope her new employ will work out best of luck.

My day went alright got a massive and tedious data mapping exercise to do. Also been working on a new print routine means less work for people I didn't ask what would happen to the people that had been doing the work. I find that it is better not to ask. After all I did not make the choice nor could I change it.

Tonight I stayed in I have been trying to save some money I have another holiday (any ideas where to go?) coming up and I haven't paid off the last one yet!

It was quiet nice to relax to be honest sitting reading with the cat sat on my lap, chatting to a few people on the net build up my strength for a raucous time in Macclesfield this weekend. Paul is coming up and staying with Matt Woller so Macc is the place to party.

Rock on!

Big Brother

I think I managed to scare Paul today. He happened to be looking at my photo gallery at the same time I was checking the stat pages. I texted him and asked whether he had enjoyed the photos. An immediate text back reviled his surprise. Before you all shutdown and never return I cant actually find out who is viewing the site only make educated guesses I can see the host the ISP and the geographic location (I put a link in however it was broken if you want to see the map click here and select show visitor map). I can think of only one person in the Midland's who would spend hours looking through my website. From what I can see there are two or three Londoner's I guess that is probably Emily, Pippa and Another but who knows.

Talking of Paul he turned me onto the Easy All Stars Reggae version of OK Computer I heard one song then bought the album and I am not disappointed so chilled and well done completely respectful to the original concept yet sounds fresh and new, excellent!

Work was actually quiet civil for a change looks like we might actually get something live this century, in fact the only annoyance was from someone through email badgering me. I do wish he would concentrate on his own work instead of mithering me.