I felt very depressed at work today; felling bruised there has been too many days of frustration too little praise. In truth I am afraid my upcoming birthday has highlighted the fact that another year has passed and I haven't really done anything with my life. I mean ok I faced some of my fears and went to Belarus where I made some new friends. The bad news is that I still live with my parents I am still single still working the same job unsure where my life is heading.
So that's the bad news what's the good? I am in a better position than I have been for years I am no longer in debt, I have learned to save and am slowly building up a deposit for a place of my own. Only two years ago I was spiralling into the modern debt trap of credit cards, loans and ever spiralling debt for life that's all behind me.
I'd say I dream of meeting someone who would make it all worthwhile, but I know that I need to feel I am worthwhile first. I am getting there sometimes its hard to look up and see all the wonderful things around us so often it seems everything is dark but really a lot of the world is bright and alive just need to open ones eyes look past the cold and rain at those autumn colours, at friends and fun times.
This evening I caught the 157 to Cheadle and had a few drinks in the Hesketh with Bruce. The place has changed immeasurably since it was my old stomping ground in days long gone by. At Ridge Danyer's College drinking with Ed Trinder underage getting fat and really wasting my life away. I like to believe I have come a long way since those days.