Just Friends

Last night I went round to Ian house to watch a DVD, I feel awful this morning. The day was innocent enough I spent time chatting on the net, moving some more photos from web album to my gallery. All of the return to Australia ones are now there.

I even managed a trip to the gym, did my leg weights exercises which make my legs feel rather jelly like this morning. I was a bit bored in the evening my parents were hogging the lounge so I was pleasd when Nick invited me over to watch a film. Ian and Bec's were there, and Ian and I headed out to get a film, collecting Phil on route.

Nick surprised us all by asking us to buy wine and pizza but and I quote "not the cheapest one". Wow I never thought I would hear him say that. Fortunatly for us Tesco had an offer on margaritas which we spiced up by adding ham and Salami.

As Becky was about we decided to rent a comedy and choose Just Friends. This is a comedy about a guy who spent his high school years in the friend zone. Years later he is successful, thin and popular however a return to his Jersey home and a chance encounter with his old flame lead to hilarious consequences. It turned out to be surprisingly funny (especially after several Carlsberg's).

After the end of the film Becky and Nick went to bed and Bruce (who arrived in time to catch the start of Just Friends) left. Ian, Phil and I stayed up drinking and watching Fearless. Which is an excellent Jet Lai film (beware it in Chinese Language so if your like Phil and hate subtitles this might not be for you). We chatted and drank some more I ended up home about 1:30 half cooked after drinking so much cooking lager. It was an enjoyable evening though relaxed and fun for a change :)

Crystal Ball

"Hear my song, fading out everything I know is wrong"! It's hard to follow milestone posts I almost feel like I have reached there so what next what new lets do something different. However being a creature of habit here I am again writing to the world + dog.

I had a chilled out day today tried to get on top of some work started writing a cocktail generator for Ian using PHP so far its going slow but its fairly new to me, hopefully soon there will be something to show.

I started to write a new guide I thought as my DHCP guide is fairly popular I would produce a short article on how I created the loopback DNS for the LAN bash. Hopefully it will prove useful to somebody.

I managed an hour at the gym dispite the fact I felt completly drained today, funny how simply sitting trying to get bits of software to work as required can be so draining.

Tonight went for a curry with Nick and Becky, I had failed completely to get Nick computer back on the internet for some reason his pc no longer wishes to connect to my wireless network I think it's a radio issue but why its decided now I cant explain. Becky is starting her own company and apparently wants me to help her design something. Fortunately she has some concrete ideas so hopefully I will be able to put something together. I felt kind of weird being out with them thought they are my friend and I enjoy their company I cannot help feeling I am doing the job of two people when I am out with them. There is someone I would have loved to introduce but she is far away, why cant things ever be simple?

Post 300

This blog has been going since July 2005 and has just reached a milestone 300. I originally started to help my Chinese friend Lulu keep up with what I am doing with my life. Over time I have gained a few readers god know why you keep coming back but like any author (am I really allowed to call myself that) I enjoy that fact other people enjoy my work.

I noticed something amusing about that first post, other than the fact I am still talking about the same people I was even then talking about buying a new camera and though I enjoy taking pictures so much I still haven't. I think I will get one for my birthday.

Today is another red letter day I finally after months and months have my living room back the decorating and finished I even have TV again Wahoo. Actually the thing I enjoyed most was sitting on the couch enjoying the warm from the fire just relaxing drinking a beer, that is what living rooms are for.

Bruce came over he and Nina have enjoyed their stay in Prague by all accounts, he brought me back a Matushka which featured Prime Ministers of England very funny response to the Matushka I brought him back from Belarus. We were going to catch up with lost but Bruce accidentally deleted the ones we wanted to see so instead ended up watching the world is not enough. The last time I saw this was on my birthday a few years ago with Phil. We watched it and had a massive curry at the Garam Massala ended up being too full to go out anywhere.

I spoke to the girl whom I argued with the other night this evening. I think we ironed out a few things. I apologised for taking things too far and being far too unhappy the other night. I think I even managed to repair some of the damage. Unfortunately despite a mending of things events have conspired against us. We talked of plans but I think in reality it is unlikely (though it would be pleasant) if we see each other again. I think that it is a shame, but it seems like I am doomed to like people that I don't really have a future with, perhaps thats part of the attraction?

Call Centres

I managed to reinforce my view that all centres a waste of time by phoning Standard life. I had been reading their website, in particular the section about divideneds. There is a paragraph which states.

We currently intend either to offer shareholders the opportunity to take their dividends in the form of shares rather than cash, or to reinvest their dividends in Standard Life plc shares. If you would like more information please contact your local shareholder helpline.

So I contacted the helpline only to be told I new more than the operative, sigh. One wonders which bright spark on the internet team decided to invite people to phone up without training the people on the phones. Oh well so far my shares have proven a good investment regardless of the quality of phone line support hopefully this will continue.

Another brick in the wall

I did something quiet funny but slightly dumb today, I was playing around with a stress ball bounching it off the wall I got a bit enthusiastic and launched it a bit too hard it bounced off the wall am smashed a roof tile oops! I was so shocked I just looked at it whilst the people opposite me laughed. Fortunatly it wasnt really broken just dislodged, I ended up covered in dust for the priviledge though.

It reminded me of a game I used to play in my youth. Back then I used to play Rugby and when visiting opponents especially dirty ones (as in playing tactics not standard of hygine) I and some of my teamates would leave a mark by knocking a hole in the oppositions changing room roof. Naughty but extreamly funny, once nearly got caught left a white tray in the hole and nobody noticed.

I went to the gym after work and now my arms ache I always seem to overdo it though while I am there I often feel I am not pushing myself hard enough. Hard to find a compromise I guess.

Clearing up

Had a weird day at work today a different senior programmer turned up, apparently he is taking charge of development. I think I can learn something from him but at the same time I find it pretty daunting to have to show yet another person that I am worthy or merit. In fact I almost feel like I no longer have the energy too act like a circus animal again. We shall see how things pan out.

It was a little annoying once again I could have done with staying late to make a good impression and finish things off but I have to leave for Japanese class after work. Its the only night I really have to leave on time typical!

Japanese was really hard I am not sure I will ever manage to understand Katakana it seems to make sense for a few seconds when I learn then when put on the spot it all floods out of my head.

I feel fucking useless this evening I can' seem to do anything, I wanted to make a few changes to Ian's site but I just ended up making a dogs dinner of my test site. After having a colleague giving me the third degree all day it really was not what I needed.

Got a text from Maia the first one in a month to tell me the her boyfriend had come to visit her. I know its terrible to be jelious but I cant help it I wish it were me, but it isnt and never will be. I deleted her number off my phone least I do something stupid when I get drunk. Straight afterwards another chat person started talking to me shes always been a bit hard to deal with at times but tonight it was too much I was probably a bit unfair to her but who is she to always judge me? Our conversation reminded my of Friday night I remember chatting up some girl things were going well until I mentioned some throwaway line about not enjoying the place because it was a bit cheap (it is a weatherspoons cheap as chips) I think she thought I called her cheap and started into a tirade about her coming from Lacey Green (a council bit of Wilmslow). I guess thats like me this chat partner just brings out the worst in me its like she knows exactly what to say to dig the knife in, its a shame at one point I thought she was actually going to end up being a friend of mine for real.

I just want to go get on a plane to somewhere, anywhere just away from this place anymore. From all the people telling me what to do and how to live. Away from conflicting ideas, wasted days, feeling washed out, inadequate, unloved and pointless. There must be more to life than this?

These thought's and the strain I am under

Work was really annoying today, in the works of Dante Hicks "I'm not even suppose to be here today". Originally I had booked a holiday that I had to cancel for something which was meant to occur but didn't actually happen.

I am only just debugging a project which has been in the testing phase for over 6 months the people who requested it have only just got around to testing it despite it being marked as high priority on the project plan. That damn plan laughs at me evertime I look at it the works stretches well into next year and its not getting any shorter. More requests are coming in all the time most marked high priority or ASAP. Well currently ASAP is months not days or weeks. Its all very frustrating, already the weekend feels a very long time away.

After work I went for a run it chilled me out a lot, as I arrived home I saw Martins 4x4 outside. He had come around to help my dad fix the radiators back in place. It looks like the decorating is nearly done might even get to use the living room in time for my birthday that would be nice. Hats off to Martin he certainly seems to know his stuff when it comes to heating systems.

Phil and I practised Japanese for an hour I am finding it so difficult I guess I need a lot more practise. We had a gander at Alison's web page it sounds so cool to be on a cruise ship diving all the time and having fun with the crew.

Ian came over later we did a little work on his website its running a bit behind schedule I am going to try and put together a cocktail generator for the site. I am hoping it will teach me a bit of PHP and make Ian's site more desirable.

I got a bit of a shock I found out the while we were out drinking in Wilmslow on Friday night that there was a mass braw in which one person was stabbed and killed just down the road. Very scary stuff I have never thought of Wilmslow as a dangerous place but I guess that too much alcohol causes people to do crazy things. I do not really want to speculate on the why I dont know any details I just thinks its terrible someone life can be taken away for what some stupid argument the world is a savage place at times. It made me think about what would have happened to me if the young kid whos blood ended up all over me during the fight in Cheadle Hulme we broke up had a knife I might not be here now scary stuff.

Gunpowder treason and plot

I arrived back from Bath about 6pm just in time to get changed and make it to Woodford fireworks display. I went with Nick Becky Mike Ali and daughter Isobel. I haven't seen Mike and Ali for ages for it was a really nice treat. Isobel has grow, she seems so changed from last time I saw her. She was dancing with Mike it was very cute.

The fireworks were really good though a little short, there were a lot of people there so hopefully it was successful for the community.

I met up with Phil afterward he watched the fireworks from the Legion this saving on the entry fee. We popped round to Martins he was having his annual fireworks and BBQ. Given the good weather for November and the amount of fireworks he managed to procure. The display was pretty funny especially as Si kept aligning them under Martins tree causing unexpected trajectories.

Was good to see Martin and Endo Si and the rest don't really see to much of them these days.

Its been a pretty hectic weekend for me I am feeling tired but happy I saw a lot and enjoy my time I hope to see some more soon.

On another note I finished the Wolves of Calla only two more books of the Dark tower remain I cannot wait to see how it all ends. Stephen King's imagination is truly awesome, I only wish I could have such an insightful mind.

Bath

On the way back from Stonehenge I decided to stop off in Bath and have a look around. Bath is a lovely place, I found it lovely had a walk round the abbey acress the Pulteney Bridge which has shops on either side like the origonal London Bridge would have done.

Saw some fantastically expensive houses in a place called the cirus. Its like a big roundabout with a grassed area in the roundabout and a circle of houses round the ourside. They look nice have to be really to justify the £650,000 asking price.

I walked into the Jane Austin museam and the baths but they were both (in my opinion) too expensive so I just walked round some more saw a couple or parks then ate a rather nice Thai meal and headed home, mmm tom yum soup is so tasty.

Salisbury

Salisbury is a little Market town city near to Stonehenge I spent the night in the youth hostel. The YHA is a short walk from the town centre pretty well placed really.

On driving up to the youth hostel set back in a tree lines area on the outscirts of the city. I was on a high, feeling good after seeing Stonehenge. The YHA's main building is a beautiful place old structure. I was ecpecting a lot, unfortunatly the actual rooms were in a wooden building around back. Not quiet so nice but it was a warm bed.

After checking in I went walking around the town. I soon got a feel for the place its a very pretty market town city. I went in a few bars but did not really feel like drinking. Almost by chance I found a cinema and decided to catch a movie, Borat.

The Salisbury odean inhabits one of the old buildings. I guess that limits what they could do with the place, I found it one of the most uncomfortabe and frankly weird cinemas I have ever been in. The couple in front of my were cuddling except his arm was resting on my leg as the legspace was so limited, this was on the main screen as well I dread to think what the others are like.

Borat was very funny mostly, complete car crash tv in some places. I personally was a little scared by the naked chase bits.

On Sunday Morning I visited the Catherdral which it very big and impressive. The spire is truly missive but dignified with its pretty stonework. Unforutnatly there was a service so barly saw the inside, and part of the outside was covered with scaffolding.

The final picture is of an ancient market place.

The anonymous poster really must not have a very fulfilling life if they spend their evenings correting peoples blogs!!

Stonehenge

I decided that I want to see more of the UK so today in my slightly worse for wear state I drove 5 hours to see Stonehenge. Photos here

The drive was long but not too bad really only a few minor Birmingham related badness moments with roadwork getting onto the M5. Once I started getting close to Salisbury the drive started to become really fun, driving along A roads is more exciting for starters. The weather was good the sun by this time shining and the sky clear autumn colours in the leaves open fields and picturesque scenes.

The first sign of the Henge was a car park; you see that about a minute before the place itself. On arrival English Heritage are firmly in control everything is managed, access is buy a tunnel under the road then you walked slowly round the perimeter of the site. You can get close enough to touch only gaze from a distance. You do get to listen to a rather patronising talk for example at the end of one seciont I was informed "press 44 that's 4 and 4" in case I didn't know!

The stones themselves are impressive you can easily imagine how ancient people would have been awed by the site as the made there way to it I just with it wasn't all so stage managed.

After walking round the stones I went to walk round the barrows which are ancient graves not far from the stones walking though friled round these and staring at the henge from a distance gave me a much better feel for the site then the English Heritage tour.

Friday night at the Bollin

Another Friday Night, Paul is in town, he is staying at Ian's this time. The group ranks were swelled with the addition of Phil, Woller, Danny and his new lady friend Jen. After much confusion about transportation we eventually taxied ourselves to trooped off to the Bollin Fee in Wilmslow.

Drinks were cheap and boy did we consume plenty of them. It was a fun evening I got to know Jen a little which was nice she seems like a lovely person I hope she and Dan are happy together. To me so far she seems a more outgoing person than Lyn.

I made a fool of myself trying to dance and drinking too much but I had a fun evening.

Stupid Blogger

I am going to avoid work today least I fall into the trap of work becoming my touchstone its getting close but I am still enough of my own person not to be overwhelmed for now.

Three people this week have all told me they read this blog, so sometime in the future they are going to pass over these word's I am typing into my screen right now. It is quiet a strange feeling for me I have never really felt interesting enough to imagine people actually listen to anything I have to say. I hope in some small way I provide enjoyment for people out there (you can always comment ;). Strange really this all started out as a bit of a vent, in fact my Chinese friend Lulu was the one who perswaded me to start writing. Thanks to the wonders of Google most visitors stumble upon is via a search rather than direct route. I certainly never imagined anyone would ever read it seriously excpet maybe Lulu its all her fault really.

I have also slowly climbed up Google's page rank, I used to sit several pages down behind the sites dedicated to John Cooke Bourne or one of the other more famous John Cooke's. At the moment I am riding high appearing close to the top. I guess this is my 15 minute moment.

As usual in blogs I have been side tracked. What I wanted to talk about is the forces of chaos. Tonight I walked into the John Millington and saw Victoria loitering at the bar. My first thought was how strange, but then I realised its not really so strange. She initially contacted me after noticing a post about that very establishment. A part of me wanted to go chat to her when I saw her at the bar but I wimped out instead went and to get some cash.

I had gone to the John Mill with Nick and Becky I hadn't seen them in ages we have both been away and had plenty of stories to tell each other. Becky was quizzing me about Maia and other details of my non existent love life. It looks like she is about to start her own business, I think I might soon be trying to bodge together another website for her. Nic seemed pretty tired it seems he hasn't let up in his relentless desire to own most of Manchester; indeed he has bought a transit van to replace the mini van I went to get with him only a few months ago.

I am tired and probably typing rubbish time for bed, night

Fun in the sun

I received an email from Alison this morning, she updated her blog. Its pretty sporadic thanks to the fact she is on a cruise ship. Her photos make me incredibly jealous its looks so wonderful out there its been so long since I went diving must be amazing to get paid to visit these amazing places i think I am in the wrong career.

Talking of wrong careers something I didn't mention yesterday was my horror in hearing that some council employee from Birmingham earned £90,000's including bonuses and overtime allowance whilst off on long term sick. So whilst the government are hassling me for extra taxes they are wasting money paying light bulb replacement men (he worked coordinating traffic light repairs. I despair about the world when I hear things like this).

Waiting for the sun

Its gone cold today, almost without warning the temperature has gone from mild to sub zero. Walking out of work to my car I felt a chill in the air, but after a gym session I walked out to very chilled air and steadily freezing windows on the car.

I saw one of the managers from work at the gym; I was running round the track I think he said more to me in those few minutes than in the last few months at work. I managed quiet a reasonable cardio session tonight 5KM round the track 20 minutes on the new step machine 15 minutes on the x-trainer and some abs work.

I got home to find another letter from the Inland Revenue, now not only to they want extra taxes off me they also want me to complete a tax return. This is a most upsetting occurrence as tax returns are rather long complex forms and I really have better things to do with my life. I would like to say I cannot think of reason why they are picking on me, but in truth I can think of at least three without even trying.

1. (Paranoia)I once got a tax rebate for £1500 and they want it back!


2. (Burocracy) Thanks to me getting free medical cover I didnt pay enough tax (by £105.16)


3. This is the mostly likely. I run a very small web hosting company. It is run as a company to limit the liability. The made a profit of £180 last year I have a feeling that the tax people think its some sort of fiddle.

In order to make up for my tax troubles I went for a pint with Bruce he has been in Gloucester this week and is going to Prague on the weekend after his cousins wedding (on a separate trip his isn't going ton the honeymoon!). Makes me kind of wish I was going in a way but hopefully I will still enjoy myself in the UK.

Had a pretty stupid argument with someone online last night I haven't exactly got over it yet, sometimes I just let things get to me I can be pretty argumentative and I usually see the worst in things so when faced with someone who has equally as strong opinions things often end in conflict. I often had the same problem with Jo B though we are good friend's these days. I guess I need to learn to be more patient and to not see the worst in things thought that is not too easy when all too often the worse happens.

To end on a positive note though I feel good this evening I have had an enjoyable evening I am looking forward to seeing Paul Ian and the others Friday night then seeing Stonehenge on Saturday.

March of the Penguins

This evening I watched the film March of the Penguins. I is not quiet as good as a decent David Attenborough program but not far off well worth a watch if you like nature programs. The penguins have a kind of quiet majesty about them. Serene in the lifestyle totally geared towards the survival of the species. I guess that is life. Its all about the survival of the species damn happiness, sadness joy and pain in the end its only the species that really matters.

I heard on the radio that elephants joined a select group of animals; in that they are self aware they recognise their own reflection like humans, grate apes and dolphins. Strange really to think such ability as to see ones own reflection is actually an evolutionary masterpiece.

Today I my colleague looked as stressed as I felt last week, this time his domain was crashing about his ears whilst his colleagues were away. I did my best to help but it just shows how overstretched the systems part of the business is really relying on a few key people is a sure sign of problems.

I was speaking to someone on ICQ this evening who thinks I should be grateful for everything I have. I tried to explain that life is in the end all down to perception. Yes things are great compared to people in the developing world who have to worry about the next meal, but in the end that's not whom I will compare myself against. I look towards my peers and compared to them I am doing very poorly. Further I don't believe I am meant to be happy that's simply a mistruth our reason for living isn't to be happy but simple to perpetuate the species unfortunately on that level too I am not doing very given the distinct lack of a partner, oh well.

Fortunately I was saved from the depths of the conversation by Phil on his return from Aikido. We went for a couple of drinks and had a chat about work and life, things are going well for him since leaving his job he seems to have picked up some decent works as a contractor which is great makes me think long and hard about doing the same. At the moment I feel like my career is stalled I am a trainee developer who has only ever had 8 days of training. Despite many promises I am still doing exactly the same support role as the day I started. Just this week some contractor got hired to do the sort of work I want to be involved with on over £300 a day. I don't expect that but wouldn't it make sense to train me too? I guess not to my boss.

Blogger Problems and Murphy's Law

I have been having a few issues with Blogger of the last couple of days I haven't been able to publish anything. There is no explanation on Blogger's site but other people were complaining about the same issue on the message boards. I have been trying every so often since Saturday finally this evening I was able to publish again.

From one fuckup to another, a server crashed over the weekend causing major panic at work, as usual in these situations Murphey's law made it happen at the worst possible time when the backup server is also out of action thanks to a hardware fault *sigh*. Fortunately this time it isn't me that has to stay up into the small hours this time but my colleague poor lad. I did try to help by knocking up a program which (touch wood) should help speed things along a little.

One of my ex's contacted me today. She wanted to tell me she was moving house and back in with the guy whom he once broken off their engagement and once walked out on her. Now I know this might seem like its none of my business and I have never met him but he sounds like a complete twat to me why she feels like she can't do better I will never know. Oh well none of my business these days I told her I thought she was being a fool other than that I good luck I hope things work out different this time.

I have a couple of extra days off this weekend and have decided it might be fun to see something of England I was thinking in honour of the Celtic / Pagan new year I might go and see Stonehenge seeing as I have never been there. I might even drop into Salisbury Cathedral as well; catch some of the things tourists come to see in the United Kingdom.

I want to do something stupid

Just got back from a gym session my body is totally tired Just like the other day I had to tone down all my weights and even go for a couple of walks in between some of the more taxing sets. It is amazing that in only just over a month of not doing weights how much power I have lost, so difficult to build up so easy to lose!

What is normally a euphoric experience was partially messed up but the thoughts running around my head. I kept thinking about Maia how can she have forgotten me, why can't I forget and get a clear head? A question haunts me, "why does no one love me"? Maia fell for some German weirdo before the Italian, my god he was into taking photos of his Barbie dolls! What the heck as the Italian chap got that I haven't except a tan and a pass to Italy. So the stupid thing I want to do is phone her demand to know why! However that is about the worst idea ever so instead I will try and forget.

Further thoughts have been troubling me. I have known at least three girls who after finding out I still lived at home suddenly lost interest. I don't know if its lucky escapes from gold diggers or women just want to find someone who is master of their own destiny and can take care of themselves.

I need to break out of this I felt so good a couple of weeks ago yet is often seems like everything wants to drag me down. Problems at work, and women; especially when they seem keen one moment and then not so. Not no one where I am going or what to do next weekend I have two extra days off I was planning to go to Prague. I loved Prague but part of the reason to go was to visit a girl I know there. Not quiet the same situation as Maia, I met Kelly in Manchester we went out for a drink had a good time but since we have only talked sporadically, I talked about going to visit her after getting back from Belarus but since we have been pretty distant so its probably (almost certainly) a stupid idea, anyway I need to move on not retry past mistakes. Instead I am going to go see something in the UK where I am not 100% sure yet hopefully it will prove to be a fun adventure.

Six Mile Water

This week has been pretty tiring, not just because I had to stay up late working, though that sure added to the problem. I think mostly the good feelings leftover from my holiday has gone replaced by an empty confused feeling.

Yesterday was the 11th Lan event, more computer games, more pizza more fun. Based at the legion as usual Phil and I had picked up the keys last night so we were able to set up at our leisure. A couple of people decided to turn up way before the event started which was slightly annoying especially as they are the more demanding clients. However undeterred we set up quickly like pros. Despite earlier feelings the turnout ended up lower than expected. A few new people turned up though; also one returning guy from Lan number 2 came again. He now has a new pc, complete with a really cool display on the front. I enjoyed the day even though I was certainly too tired to talk to Chris after a full day of his questions. The games all seemed to go pretty well though we never got HLstatsX working shame but oh well. I guess the next one will be Christmas only not long now folks!

I washed my car earlier and for no reason at all random trains of thought started going though my mind. I remember thinking out the different types of intelligence. I thought of several distinct types, first that quick sharp intelligence the one that works like lightening, creator of retorts, quick jokes and sharp words. Second is the deep knowledge it can be slow or quick the ability to call on a body of evidence to remember quotes dates and events and use them to back up arguments. Finally there is the practical intelligent some people are just able to look at problems and see the solution. That eureka moment going from a to c without passing through b. Most people are a composite of these types falling somewhere into the mix I have found it very rare to meet people who are well versed in all areas. Just thought I would share that weirdness with you ;-)

Hip to be square

I feel so tired I have gone beyond tired but more than tired I am currently angry. I have a number of reasons to be unhappy mostly the normal things the tax demand pissed me off a great deal but I think the icing on the cake today had to be a comment from the IT manager. I have stayed up two nights in a row later doing out of hours work this afternoon my mind wasnt focused at all I was tired and I asked to go home early (at 4 insted of 5.30) rather than say yeah sure you have done a good job recently he started to lay into me about a worklist which I hadn' completed. Well no I haven' that is correct because as usual priorities have shifted other jobs have come up but hey I have worked an extra two evenings I am worn out I can sit hear and pretned to be productive or I can go home and rest recover.

To make matters wrose I have found out once again I have been left out of the new software development a contractor has been hired I wouldnt have even known anything about it if a collegue hadnt phoned me to ask about some XML work. TO be honest is pretty much a joke I am not really sure how I can remotivate myself after all this.

I tried to cheer myself up chatting to friends on the internet but I just ended up in an arguemtn about religion of all things. I then went out for a drink with Phil but I wasnt in the mood in fact I should just have stayed in and rested I just feel angry and tired not a good combination.