Sunday, May 18, 2008

What Else Is There?

After last nights gorging on Pestos finest Italian tapas with Emily Andy and Nick I decided to try and be healthy today. I lasted about 6 hours.

The morning wet well I started reading "looking for the lost" Alan Booths second and final book about travelling in Japan. So far its very interesting, his style is really very readable and interesting. World weary and angry yet so engaging and full of humour.

I managed then to go the the gym do a workout, then go and view a house in Hazel Grove. The owner showed me round, he struck me as an angry man constantly apologising and explaining why his house was as it was. To be honest for me it was overpriced and needed quiet a bit of work doing, so it is not the one for me.

When I got home I had lunch then went to Barton grange to pick up an out door table and chairs for my parents. I didn't; think it would fit in my car but the guy manhandled the box until it was just about wedged.

After putting the table together Nick called round. He had just bought a bike off ebay. It was two years old but basically had been left in a shed it looked brand new to me. We went for a ride around some parts of Poynton where Nick is looking for a house. It was interesting cycling around you can hear and see a lot more of an area, sometimes cars are just two divorced from the surroundings to be useful. After scoping out the houses we popped in to see Martin.

Martin was working on his new buggy, we chatted about bikes and kites for a bit. I think Nick was surprised how much of an adrenaline junky Martin really is. I thought he was alone until we popped into the kitchen for something and found Char ironing in the half finished living room.

It was Nina's birthday yesterday so we went for a curry to celebrate. Nick, Phil, Nina, Bruce, Holly, Jo and I went to the Spicy hut for a meal. It was tasty, we had nice conversations about life, houses, and business.

I got home and crashed, emotionally I feel very low. A lot of things seem to be going wrong my life is wasted on useless pursuits like the fruitless campaign to find a house. Everything seems to be a bit pointless, working for things that bring only pain, desperately trying to be somebody when the last characteristic anyone likes is desperation. So many bad decisions, failures and mistakes haunt me, I seem to have lost my way, but I no longer see what the path should be. Perhaps one day I can shake off the malaise and feel good about things again, I really hope.

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