Amelie

I was tired this evening so after Japanese class I stayed in and watched TV. It gave me the chance to rewatch Amelie a film I haven't seen for years. I had forgott just how well films acted and truly beautiful this movie is. Ameile is a confused young waitress living in modern France (warning it's a subtitled film), she has lived a dysfunctional and introverted life. Basically she comes to the realisation that she can improve the lives of those around her and that helps her to feel happy. This vicarious life helps many people in her life (and by dint makes the world at large a slightly better place). Along the way some of the people who's lives she influence learn to love her and herself find love.

It truly is a wonderful film full of hope, the sadness of isolation the discovery that interaction can be fulfilling. The cinematography is simply amazing there are so many visual tweaks hart-warming moments. They all contribute to the film as well not just special effects for the sake of it.

Perhaps I am being overly sentimental but it really cheered me up if you have never seen it RENT IT NOW. I wish one day I could work on something so beguiling, so wonderful.

I missed out on going to see a concert tonight I was meant to be doing a remote in overtime for work but things changed at the last minute and it was cancelled I left my phone at home and missed my opportunity. I still owe Jo for the ticket as well.

As I missed out on the concert I went to the last Japanese class of the year, it was pretty hard had the first proper listening exercise. I still barely know Katakana and next year we start learning Hiragana. I guess in time things will come to me.

I was thinking today three people I know who are about my age have decided to get married this month, Mo a girl used to work with, Maia and now Bruce. It is strange how things can change so suddenly. I messaged Maia to tell her the irony and had a bit of a chat. She will keep her name as that is the Italian style apparently. Initially they are going to live with his mum until they find a place to live. I guess that means there is hope for me if he is thirty.

Yes your right I am stupid I should not torture myself speaking to her its never going to happen I know. I would not be the nice guy you all know and love/hate/feel ambivalent to if I did not remain friends with people long after I should leave well alone. It is the part of me that rushed into a breaking up someoen else fight that just cant stop sometimes.

I have been trying to work on a website for Becky, www.cheshirehorseboxhire.co.uk. Its still in the early stages, I hope I can achieve what she wants I am not really a very good web designer, I just tried and do something to give her a presence.

Congratulations Bruce

Bruce dropped a bit of a bombshell this evening he proposed to Nina on Sunday and suprisingly she said yes ;) So congratulations Bruce and Nina. After Maia this makes two of my friends soon to be married. I am very happy for them and wish them all of the best but at the same time I am worried that I havent even had a girlfriend for god knows how long. I worry that I won't ever meet anyone.

Ungrateful

The massive upgrade on Sunday I arriced at work at 7am and worked until 1pm. I rolled out a number of big upgrades onto the system but for all my effort rolling out a big upgrade with very few hitches did I get any thanks? No of course not! I had thought stupidly after such an intense few weeks getting things ready it would calm down a little but the intensity was still there. I am just glad I have holiday next week need a rest.

Wasteland

Today was a day of nothing much read the economist, it had an incredible article about organic food and "fair trade". Their points were in brief, organic food is terrible for the environment as it uses whole lot more land to produce the same amount food. Farmer's markets and local production might be worse for the environment after all which is worse full loaded trucks carting well packed food or lots of people making trips in their cars to pick up a salad?

Fair trade got the biggest hiding. In short the author felt Fair Trade is basically a tool supermarkets can use to add onto the price of good without passing much benefit onto farmers. According to the article usually only 10% or less of the extra cost is passed on so if you pay £ extra for a tin of coffee only 10p extra goes to the farmer and maybe 60p extra to the supermarket. Fair Trade is also in its simplest form a subsidy on production its effecting proper markets. For example coffee is overproduced so its too cheap however does giving handouts to farmers encourage them to diversify?
Obviously it is a much more complex issue and I have only briefly outlined some alternative arguments however its very interesting to look at the other side of the coin I think, I will definitely think twice next time I am in a supermarket.

This evening I headed out to the comedy night it was hilarious best one I have been to in ages even if I did get ripped into by the compare. Debra Jane Appelby was particularly funny she really got everyone laughing. There was also a dizzy blond women in the audience who was almost a comedy act in her own right!

Work in the morning 7am start for a software roll out so I better get to bed night night.

No more lonely nights

Everyone made an early dart from work today as the Christmas do was happening this evening at the Belfry. As everything is static for Sunday's upgrade I worked on a few little pieces of work it was actually quiet a productive day I managed to blast through several of the low priority bits of work.

I called up Paul this evening, its been a awhile since we last spoke. He seemed in an upbeat mood was talking about a new possible record deal. It also seems there might be a revival of Gypsies playground I remember going to see what I think turned out to be the last proper gig at Marple College so it would be great fun to see the rebirth. Especially as they have all been working on their own talents since those days.

I talked to Paul about Maia, I guess it's hard for him to understand me. Its not that I have something for foreign girls its just I seem to live a lot of my life vicariously and sometimes the people I meet online are more interesting in that I can actually talk to them then most of the women I meet in the UK. I spent many hours talking on the phone and online to Maia before I ever agreed to go and see her in Belarus, I won't deny I liked her and nothing really changed. We just were not right for each other she wanted to be in Italy and she has found someone she likes who can get her there anything else is between them and I wont speculate. I don't know whether I will go to her wedding though.

I could talk all night about how alone I am and how I feel but I think I have already been over it, I liked someone they felt differently or I missed my opportunity that is the story of my life I cannot change the past only work on improving the future. Perhaps one day I will meet someone who lives nearby and find me attractive maybe not such is life.

Tonight I stayed home and watched a film with Bruce it was a trash horror called "see no evil" about a killer who takes peoples eyes (geddit!). It was pretty awful formula stuff with toe curling violence thrown in. It didn't really shock me though I guess it wasn't real enough or I am becoming hardened to it who knows?

Heart Shaped Box

I went for lunch with my parents today, originally I offered to buy it for them as a treat following my bonus last month. By the time I made it there though they had ordered and wouldn't take my money. Oh well Ill have to find something else nice to do. I still need to buy them a Christmas present but I have absolutely no idea what yet I will have to look around for inspiration. Lunch was nice once we found a table the Couch and Four was incredibly busy, I had a Club Sandwich always tasty :)

I did managed to sort out Bruce Nina and Phil out with tickets to see Regina Spektor in February at the university. I saw her there last January and it was one of the best concerts I have ever been to.

Just got a link from Phil, Chad Vader day manager very funny

Student Moan

I am vexed! I went home for lunch to find I have received another statement from the student loans people today depressingly payment of £1000 has only cleared £600 off the debt and my previous interest charge has been revised upwards. Thanks very much SLC!

Opening the rest of my mail provided further annoyances, the inland revenue has rejected my corporate tax form they want to see more documents quiet why I have no idea the idea of chasing my for documents when I owe nothing seems quiet absurd however that's what they want so will have to compile something for them more work. I make so little of my hosting "enterprise" I cant afford to hire an accountant to put all the figures together. The government really must hate small businesses because they pile on a lot of needless paper work.

At least work is going well I put my changes on to the training system and it all seems to go pretty well.

I saved the world today

I am wiped out tonight I have been really busy this week getting everything ready for the big software upgrade on Sunday. It has been pretty manic trying to knock off remaining issues. Unfortunately working fast and on several things at once has introduced nearly as many bugs as it cleared. I made a real effort today spending the day trying to debug everything. I think it was worth it as it finally looks as if we are ready to go live, as a bonus it also helped me to ignore the news from Maia. I started to put together an implementation plan and realised I have modified a rather large number of programs tables and data its going to be a big upgrade indeed.

I felt so tired after work I just could not find the strength to get to the gym, instead came home watched 4400 pilot warmed by the fire. Raining and wind are pounding my room, its dark and horrible outside it only makes my mood more dark.

I am getting a bit worried having major wrist and elbow pains I think it might be some sort of repetitive strain injury. I think its because I use a laptop for work its going to be a real problem if I wasn't able to work. I guess maybe it could also be I overdid it at the gym and using a keyboard makes it worse. I am really afraid to go and see a doctor but I am not really sure what else to do. What if they said I had to stop using a keyboard I would lose my job my career. I also am rather afraid of doctors irrational I know but I am a plenty irrational most of the time.

I am off for two weeks for Xmas I might hold on until then take it easy on the PC front give my arms some rest. I know its stupid to blog when my arms hurt but hey what difference will a few minutes writing something I enjoy make when the damage is already done.

Paperback writer

Just had a text out of the blue from Maia, she wanted to tell me shes getting married. I replied and told wish her congratultatons. When my ex and longest term girlfiend Jenny told me she was engaged I felt almost entirly without emotion. I had not even thought about her for a very long time so I hardly was a surprise she was moving on with the life. In this case though this one text message caused me almost physical pain. I thought I was over her, well not over we never existed as a couple only a strong link. Clearly my heart is ruling my head on this one, my head know sit would never work and there plently more fish in the sea but still I feel why not me?.

Oh well back to work, back to trying to forget.

Feature creep

Its taken a couple of days to get over Barcelona, arriving back from that sort of trip at 10pm and getting up in time for work at 8am the next day are totally contradictory. I have been a little in a daze and there has been so very much for me to do. The last few months we have been slowly improving a number of aspects of our software culminating hopefully in an upgrade on Sunday, however people seem to keep finding last minute tweaks its not good I would have put a moratorium on if I could however the choice is not mine so new changes keep going in. It's really hard to stay on top of things

I have tried my best to keep everything maintainable and well documented but the pace is so quick so shortcuts have had to be taken. We did a load test today it the changed held up a heck of a lot better than last time however a few new bugs were discovered I hope I can fix them quickly.

Japanese was fun tonight we tried doing some speaking / listening exercises pretending to be someone else so I was a female Belarusian quite funny really. I have enrolled for next years term so looks like this is going to be a long term thing. I am enjoying it but I its hard. Tonight the college had a kind of gathering afterwards I tried to make a Crain but it was a bit of a mess really it was nice to have a chat with some of the other people from the course though.

Viva Espania

All good things have to come to and end and this was our last day in Barcelona. It was only a short trip after all. We had been saving the best for last after though. After packing and checking out we headed off to waterfront for a final and very tasty tapas lunch sat out in the sun. It was lovely just sat there eating watching the waterfront and the people we took it leisurely and drank a local beer with the food.

Saving the best for last the next destination was Sagrda Familiar. This place just truly blew my mind.  Firstly the sheer size is mind boggling then I started to appreciate just how ornate and intricate it is. I think if I didn't have a plain to catch I could have stared for hours as it was I managed a walk around a few photos and we had to leave for home. A walk, metro to the train and we were back at the airport headed for home.

Saturday in Spain

The weather took a slight turn for the worse (you can see in the washed out photos) the temperature dropped to 16c and there we some small showers at lunch.

Undeterred Phil and I headed off to Montijuic riding the metro to Placa d'Espanya. We then went on a very long walk indeed from there up the many steps of the Font Magica.

Stopping at the top for the most expensive can of Pepsi ever 2.50 Euro! Then round the rounds to the Olympic plaza and stadium stopping to look at the massive communication tower.

Finally we headed up to the Castell de Montjuic which we walked all the long way round opps. The view from the top (when we finally found it) was spectacular, you could see the port on one side and the whole of the city on the other. Certainly worth the walk.

The cable car we intended to catch down wasn't running so we had to walk some more down to the Metro station. Feeling tired we went for a few hour Siesta then out for a Japanese meal then on for drinks at you guessed where Margarita blue ;)

More Barcelona Tales

Friday the weather was nice (by English Standard) sunny and about 19c. After getting up late with hazy head Phil and I explored the remaining part of the Ramblas and Gothic quarters. We grabbed a sandwich from a little shop neat the hotel, it seems rather than butter/spread they Catalan spread tomatoes on their bread. It is actually very pleasant especially with Iberian ham (a little like Parma ham).

Consulting the guide I read that the Picasso museum is the single biggest attraction in Barcelona so we decided to go and take a look. The museum occupies several old buildings knocked together to form an impressive space, its laid out in chronological style so you can see Picasso go through many styles from more traditional through to cubism. You get the feeling he just never stopped painting three is just so much work there and you can really see the different styles combinations and influences. The only negative is that there are none of his really famous works and the layout can be a bit confusing several times I wasn't sure which room was next. It is certainly worth looking around you see a lot of excellent artwork.

In the evening we went for probably one of the best Thai meals I have ever eaten at a little Thai place neat Estacio de Franca. After which we walked down to Port Olympic to check out the night-life. I don't know if it was the time 11pm or because it was off season but it was dead most of the bars empty and lots of aggressive sellers trying to push is in. We had a drink in the Irish Sailing club watched some boxing then headed back to Maghria Blue. It was heaving the barmen were working together in a production line to make enough Mohitos!

Back from Barca

Had a great time in Spain, they just have so much more of a relaxed culture. Enjoying good food, excellent drinking and plenty of fun this city is simply a joy to get around. There is always something else fun around the corner. The pics are online here

Lost Passport

Phil and I arrived at Barcelona after two hours a cramped but quick Monarch flight, he was mumbling and fumbling around in his bag as we approached passport control, I went through he stood there for a few minutes fumbling then ran back to the plain, a few minutes later he sidled up to passport control looking sheepish the women sighed closed her booth and disappeared off with him. After 10 minutes he finally got through. He left his passport on his seat but by the time he got back tot he plain the door was closed!

Trains to Barcelona

We decided to grab the train into the City it was only 4.40euro for the both of us it was pretty quick two we were in the city in about 30 minutes. Things started to go wrong here I got confused about the stations we got off at the wrong place wasted a ticket on the turn style stupidly before finally working out the blindingly obvious underground map. Fortunately we kept our cool and made it to the hotel. Very well placed on Via Laietana, right on the edge of the Gothic Quarter.
After a checking in we went exploring the Ramblas, which are the old part of the city full of narrow streets populated with shops bars and restaurants. We had some excellent Tapas for lunch then wondered around some more winding our way round and round the streets not quiet lost but not entirely knowing where we were.

Evening

After a siesta shower and change of clothes we went out for a meal and quiet drink. We eat a rather nice Paella and drank the local beer, then we tried out a number of the tapas bars eventually finding our way to Margarita Blue. This was a cocktail bar Ian would have been proud of and was our last stop every night. Located a short stomp away from the hotel. It offered great Mohitos on tap and measures that cheered our hearts. On the first night we chatted to some English girls who were studying in Barcelona to be honest Phil did most of the chatting I was feeling pretty drunk at this point. We made it back to the hotel at 3am and slept in late Saturday. I got woken up by the cleaners hung the DND sign on the door and went back to bed ;)

Quest Complete

I spent most of the day lost on the final journey towards the dark tower, after reading 7 books and investing so much time in Roland's journey I was eager to see how its ends. To find out whether in fact he ever reaches that tower. I think King himself sums it up best it7's the journey / quest which is the story not the ending which I think comes too fast several plots are dispatched quickly in a clumsy finish to what has become an epic journey. I will have to find another story to get lost in.

This evening Phil, Bruce and myself went out to watch Snow Patrol at the MEN arena, it was the first time I have managed to get standing tickets there so it was a bit of a treat. I have really enjoyed Snow Patrols last couple of albums and they didn't disappoint playing all their hits and a few less known songs like star fighter pilot. They sounded great and had a wonderful lighting show. Snow Patrol are less of a jump up and down band they I have seen recently (except for Regina Spektor) they still managed to get the crowd going especially with the more well known numbers.

I am off to Barcelona in the morning I am very excited about it cant wait o go wondering around. This will be the last post until I return late Sunday, but never fear Ill make sure I get plenty of photos and stories posted on my return. Until then as Roland would say "long days and pleasant nights”

1 Million Marlboro Lights

I didn't do much with my afternoon though I did find that thanks to the glacial progress of electronic funds transfers I have doubly paid my credit card this month, once from my savings account then they direct debited the full amount because despite it being 5 working days later the fund have not cleared. To be honest I despair the system is so slow but what can I do I will be bit short this month only the fact I got paid a bonus has really saved me.

This evening I went to Japanese a few little things there are starting to fall together I can ask an answer a few simple questions and even read a little now though I am still a long way from fluent. At the end we had to pretend we were someone else and give their details so I pretended to be my Belarusian friend interesting pretending to be a girl. Considering the others included Peter Pan and David (the only gay in the village) it wasn't such a strange choice.

After Japanese Phil and I went to see Sandbox at the Night and Day cafe Manchester, we just arrived in time to catch the start of their set. It was pretty good I thought they all looked a little flustered it was hot inside the place. I suggested to Lennie they have a range of Sandbox branded fans to help them cool down as this isn't the first toasty gig they have done. I managed to finally catch up with the chief for a short chat. The next band was a bit crap and the pa was hurting our ears combined with the fact Phil is working tomorrow we decided to make a sharp exit.

On holiday

I have the week off so basically I am kicking back relaxing and enjoying myself. So far today I have watched a film, sat by the fire then read some more of the Dark Tower, its really sad two of the characters have just died strange after spending so much time with them (this is the 7th book) they had taken on lives of their own. I must be getting old being affected by characters in book book eh!

I guess th dark tower is a metaphor for life the struggle, happiness loss all in the pursuit of a higher purpose. I guess most of us would like to be like Roland to feel as though we have a higher purpose to serve, well at least would. So often I think what exactly is the point.

Oh well got a few fun things to do tonight, first Japanese class, then going to see Sandbox play. Been a while since I last saw them missed the last gig / ep launch thanks to the lan bash so it will be great to see them again.

Complicated

On the way home from my time out at the Bulls head I got a text from Maia, first one in weeks it woke up all the stupid feelings I had one part of my wanted to message back and tell her where to go the other was so excited to hear from here. I really need to learn to live without. I sent her a message along those lines and did not receive a response I guess it wasn't what she wanted or expected to hear.
I am pretty much over her now but still alone so pitifully alone i just hope some time soon there will e someone who actually wants me.

Lunch at the Bulls Head

 
I went out for lunch with Ali Mike, Nick and Becky, it was great to to see them again and Isobell shes grown so much I can hardly believe its been close to two years since she was born, time really has flown.

Mike and Ali are close to moving away which is a shame I guess it will mean I see even less of them :(
Becky was making me lauch you can see how much see loves Isobell and wants her own children I don't think Nick feel exactly the same way though I am sure one day he will at the minute he is occupied with empire building.

Myself I would like that sort of closeness you only get with a strong relationship but at the moment its seems just a dream but hey be positive I am sure one day it will happen better to wait than to rush into things right 

Numb / Encore

It was my 27th birthday yesterday I had a very enjoyable and relaxing day reading by the fire sat next to my cat. In the evening I went out to Rusholme for a for a curry with a few friends. Namely Nina, Bruce, Jo, Holly Nic Becky and Phil, of course I took my new camera out though Holly wouldn't let my photograph her, photos here. It was a pleasant evening relaxed chat nice food and a few pints. After the meal Bruce Nina Phil and myself went for a few more drinks in Varsity. I kind of felt like heading into town but no-one else was really up for it so I decided to save the money for Barcelona next weekend.

So another year has past bringing into sharp focus the fact the am aging. In just under three years I will be 30 a very scary age. What will change in that time? Will I move out? Change jobs or even meet the girl of my dreams? In truth I don't have a clue nobody can predict the future. Sometimes I feel like I haven't done or don't do anything with my life time passes but somehow things don't really seems to change. This is of course not true. I went for a jog this morning, it was a beautiful autumn scene the sun was shining highlighting the colours on the leaves I felt quiet alive despite being out of breath as I was jogging past Jonsey's house I thought about my past the years spend in the barn drinking and smoking my life away. I could be still working north miles away, in some horrible relationship worse than being alone. Really I have a lot to be happy about its just sometimes it hard to see the good when everything feels so dark. So here is to a year of being happier and enjoying life more.

Bonus new toys and fun nights in

Hurrah got my annual bonus today, well I say I got the tax man took rather a large proportion so it wasn't entirely mine. After the tax what seemed like a great deal of money transformed into just over a months salary so it was like being paid twice.

I decided bugger it I have already bought my holiday so I went al out today went out and bought a lovely new camera, had to do a bit of haggling but managed to get hold of a brand new Ixus 900ti, it's 10mp. Though I had to take the first model back as it had a fault with the zoom after getting a replacement I must say I am impressed its faster, lighter smaller and has a better screen and quality than my old Ixus 330. It definitely paid to haggle, I paid a heck of a lot below the sticker price, still more than the internet but I guess thats the price for ability to walk into a store it wasn't so bad to pay a few pounds more. I decided against paying the premium for a memory card from them. They wanted £49.99 on the internet I have seen £9.99 in the end I paid £14.99 from the computer store across the way just to save time.

I spent the rest of my bonus paying off a few little debts and topping up my isa not most money i have spent in a day since I bought my car I think, felt kind of good it a little excessive.

This evening I had a night at my house watching dvd's films and eating pizza it sounds fairly pedestrian but I had good company with Nick Phil and Bruce. I kind of wanted to go out but it actually was a fun evening to spend with friends chatting laughing and enjoying crap films. It even made up for the rubbishness of Miami Vice, Its terrible I am not even going to bother with a break down its too long lazily directed, I think the best thing this film had going was the advert featuring the JZ Linkin Park mash up numb encore nuff said!