I have found it hard to blog recently, I feel incredibly angry and empty. Some days I feel numb, like I am just going through the motions. Work has been difficult awful, some days I just want to scream, or walk through the office pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers
I feel like recently my life has been categorised by a series of mistakes. Each somehow worse or compounding the last. Somehow aged 29 I have ended up at a stagnant. I feel trapped, going nowhere but every move I make to try and change things rebounds and drags me further into the void.
So far in the last few months I have managed to alienate people, get back into the same debt problems I worked so hard to get away from. I thought I would feel better to buy a house and move out. Unfortunately it seems to be an epic fail, nearly a year on and I still have so much to do to it just to make the place livable. On the bright side I have nearly finished decorating the bedroom leaving *only* the hall stairs and landing and bathroom to decorate; so maybe not too much longer. It does all look good too, while my dad drives me nearly to the point of insanity with his rigid attention to detail, it does provide good (if a little slow) results.