2 Days

I did something very bloody stupid this evening and compounded it by avoiding the issue. Only the future will tell if its going to come out.

Tonight I went out with Jo's Friday night pub club, I arrived at 8.30pm only Jo and I were there. I continued to drink until other people arrived. I was challenged with people I hardly know and people I frankly wish I could have avoided. Together with the earlier stupidity just wished I could dissolve. I felt so depressed I just wanted to disappear, this is not the mood I wanted to be in before Shanghai but unfortunately I messed up and here I am.

I arrived at 8.30 to find Jo sat on his own. The Governers house was not as I remembered, it seemed full of pretentious women in their late thritys, showing too much cleveage and waering too much makeup.

Nick and Becky joined us, she was telling us how dangerous riding can be. Apparently earlier that day a girl died on the horse riding course that she is competing in tomorrow, I hope she is more careful. Then Leon and Wally turned up, Leons girlfirend looked bored and I found it hard to strike up conversation. Then Liz G and her friend turned up, I just downed a few more pints and wished I could vanish.