Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hope overture

Ah valentines day, Surprisingly enough another year in which I received exactly zero valentines cards. Oh well maybe next year eh :P I think Jo summed it up best with his "I only received one red letter this morning it said please pay £88.50 love EDF", genius mate ;)

I went to pick up my visa today, its not quiet as impressive a stamp as the Belarussian one but I am certainly very pleased to have it. et again there were Chinese people arguing with the counter staff. I have no idea what over as the discussion was all in Chinese. On the way out I also got leafleted by some guy protesting about some practise of the Chinese government. They weren't there on Friday morning.

Things were a little weird today at work, there have been doing some chopping and changing I might have to go spend some time with another colleague to learn a different system. In principle I like the idea how much I can realistically learn in one day is debatable though.

Made it to the gym this evening, in total contrast to Monday it was nearly empty tonight. There must have been some football on TV or something I guess. This evening passed like any other but a conversation with one of my friends made me thing about Australia. I was so much more impulsive there, my attitude was like Nikes logo just do it. I think the thing was I had limited time which forced me to do things. Whereas here I am king of putting it off, there is always tomorrow right? Here you think you have forever but its just an illusion. I suppose thats why I am keen to do crazy stuff like visit people from the internet in other countries, because if I don't do it now I probably never will.

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Idiot

I just started reading the Idiot a Russian novel (I am reading the English translation of course) by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It is an account of a simple man totally who through his through his selflessness and sincerity makes his way into Russian society. Like the novel Crime and Punishment, the Idiot is at first glance extremely verbose and descriptive. I started reading this evening and have made it to chapter 6, With it being a translation and a text written in the 19th Century, some of the language can be a little difficult to understand.

The book is relatively light and very much a pleasure to read. I like the way Dostoevsky writes, he is like the Tarantino of the literary world. There are constant meanderings, which serve more to define the characters that further the plot. For all the extra prose it is never boring to read, always adding something to the "world" of the novel. Not that I am an expert on literature of course, I only managed a B at GCSE and that is about as far as I got with writing until the day I started up this blog (and I am by NO means comparing myself to a master author).

Apparently Dostoevsky is considered by some to be the father of existentialism. I never really gave it any though but he certainly does devote a lot of his material to inwards examination especially of extreme states of mind. Given I recently ordered some books about philosophy in an effort to expand my mind, without realising that I have already been exposing myself to a form of the art. I guess it exposes a gap in my education or understanding.

Andy "chief" Gilmore has invited me to a party / gathering at his place. The excuse is to wish Emily a fond farewell before she heads back to the big smoke to continue her placement. I am very much looking forward to seeing them again the chief is always good fun and Emily is always great company.

I have been very much alone these last few days, I have given up trying to contact people, I kind of get the feeling my low mood and work priorities have annoyed people so rather than labour the point I am leaving a little time and doing some exercises to help improve my demeanour.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Dead Mans Shoes

I watched a film this evening, (it the post title) A psychological thriller about a man who takes revenge on the people who harmed his brother. He becomes the monsters they were in order to exact his revenge on them. It explores the nature of man, how basically when pushed we can turn into monsters capable of pretty much anything. As an only child I have never really had a very strong family instinct I cannot really imagine having that sort of bond with someone. I just have trouble imagining what could make me feel so strongly about anything. Despite my fiery temper I actually find it pretty hard to really feel about anything, I mostly feel nothing simple ambivalence to the world.

Maybe its all part of the modern malaise, people are individuals first and foremost. Rather than part of society these days, we seem to have forgotten community. Obsession with consumerism and keeping up with the Jones is the modern way. I think we have forgotten we won our rights to vote and change society by acting together.

I guess I have always had a pretty black and white view of how the world works but it doesn't seem to fit. I just dunno anymore, my views are too simple. I guess I need to update my point of view somewhat.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Mary

Had a day of nothing today, spent most of my time obsessing about moving out being my own man. Instead of furthering that dream I sat and played computer games. To be honest I did enjoy myself, after a busy week it was good to relax and not think about anything for a while.

This evening went to the comedy night with Bruce and Phil. It was a good laugh though we got totally picked on for looking like a quiz team apparently, I think its becuase we were basically the youngest gyuys in there. It was mostly couples. I had quiet a fun evening the comedians were good, and there place was full.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Guillemots

Bruce and I went to the Academy in Manchester this evening to see the Guillemots. I bought the tickets ages ago basically on the back of hearing there most famous songs "Trains to Brazil", "Annie Lets not Wait" and "Made up Love Song". I thought they would be a pretty different band to see live.

They were certainly different, announcing they had food poisoning in the first five minutes they played a very experimental set. I got the feeling they love to play and experiment which is cool, though I much preferred the bouncy songs to the melancholic solo (Amusingly during the solo the sound of people were talking louder than he was playing!) or the orgy's of experimentation. I have to hand it to them, they put different slants on their songs so the live act is definitely a different experience to listening to the cd.

The people in front of us enjoyed themselves, a couple of girls were dancing like lunatics, though from the way they were speaking it was clear they had indulged in a few drinks, we probably more than a few.

I am not sure if Bruce like it or not, I hope so. He made a couple of jokes, one song a new one called Big Dog, he thought was big cock, and in fact his lyrics fitted nearly as well...

I wasn't the only one with reservations a heck of a lot of people left before the end (the band did not come out for an encore either. I guess they weren't joking about feeling ill). I think its the most people I have ever seen walk out of a pay for gig.

Overall I am glad I went it was a different experience, and variety is always fun, still think Trains to Brazil is amazing.

Man on the moon

I have the day off today, went out earlier this morning in order to go to the Chinese embassy. I need a visa for my upcoming trip to Shanghai, and for Chinese visas you need to make an application in person at the Embassy. Fortunately they have an office in Manchester.

It was quiet weird walking in to the Embassy a women was arguing with the aide in Chinese. Thankfully I did not have to argue or even wait long, the aide gave my details a quick check and handed me a receipt. She told me to come back on Wednesday and pay then, result.

I spent the rest of the morning doing my VAT return, what a pain took me an hour and I only ended up owning £8.05, sigh. Thankfully I have a piece of software called Myob which helps loads in producing all the figures, all I need to do is keep it updated.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Hablo Español!

My Mexican net friend is hosting a university radio show tomorrow about 3pm (Mexican time) I promised to link to her so,http://frecuenciatec.mty.itesm.mx. She is always interesting to chat to in English as for Spanish I have no idea but if you fluent might be fun to listen.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Killer Cars

I did not have the energy to blog last night, if I had I would simply have written my weekly Japanese was hard post. In truth I am still really shattered from the weekend and its so cold and oppressive at the moment

"Going out for a little drive and it could be the last time you see me alive", could have been my theme tune this morning. I defrosted my car, not very well dumped a load of hot water over the top, unfortunately it was so cold that I only got quarter of a mile before the damn thing refroze over I couldn't see a thing an had to drive for a few moments with only about 5percent visibility until I could find somewhere to stop.

Apparently it will be a very cold night tonight, talking of cold I think Paul and Ian must be annoyed with me. I know it was crap I did not "play out" this weekend, even though it totally was not my choice neither of them returned my calls recently.

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in over a week, I kind of went a little crazy and my body feels rather abused now. I still have not managed to get back to where I was before the Christmas break in terms of the weights, though my running is going well. I managed to beat me (quiet poor) best 5km time, did it in about 29 minutes. I was absolutely knackered but still managed a weight session afterwards. Perhaps a short break was not so bad after all.

I spoke to to ex girlfriends today, they both contacted me randomly, in either case I have no real idea what the purpose was, perhaps they just wanted to make sure I am not doing better than them?

Training aides

Found a really cool website you can draw on a map to work out how far / fast you have run http://www.mapmyrun.com

Monday, February 05, 2007

People are strange

Today has been a strange day for me, I actually received high praise for my work over the weekend which was very welcome but also pretty strange. It kind of shows that when all our effort is put into one project we can successfully complete it, promptly.

This evening I went for a quiet drink with Bruce at the Thieves, on the walk there we noticed a man stood at the side of the graveyard taking photographs of the church (or the graves we weren't sure). Given it was actually freezing we thought it was a rather odd thing to be doing. Bruce and I were just leaving the pub when a random women approached me and asked if my surname was Cooke. She told me she knows my dad from way back when he was a child, and my grandparents, the ones I never met. It was a rather surreal conversation and ended rather abruptly when I told her I still lived with my parents and never got to meet my grandparents on my fathers side. She told me he probably would not remember her and left without telling me her name. It all made for a very surreal evening.

Bruce and I had been having a quiet drink and chat about his search for a house. It looks like he has been gazzumped on his uncles place so he is looking around at some other properties. Current favorite is one in Cheadle. He was pretty upset at all the money needed to pay for other things, surveys, legal fees, and lender fees amongst others totaling somewhere around £5000. Its an expensive business this home buying that is for sure.

Which Superehero are you?

Your results:
You are Hulk
You are a wanderer with
amazing strength.

Image of the Hulk























Hulk
65%
Spider-Man
65%
Robin
62%
Superman
60%
Iron Man
55%
Green Lantern
55%
The Flash
55%
Catwoman
45%
Supergirl
40%
Batman
40%
Wonder Woman
20%




Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test


I am not entirely sure how I ended up being 20% Wonder Women, I definitely said no to the push up bra question.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

For all the cows

Was interesting waking up this morning, I had two rather weird text messages sorry cant make the contents public. Contrary to message two sentiment I did not make it to Leamington, it was very upsetting for me but I have spent the majority of the weekend at work creating new mortgage screens.

Despite having worked yesterday everything I did needed to be changed despite it matching the brief the brief didn't match peoples ideas. I spent about 2 hours reworking to the new plan, and another couple of hours adding new features. Then I had to do the testing. I had to put up with a horrible anally retentive call center nobody, and a rather annoying call center manager. They apparently has to fight off girls with a stick, Jesus he is so fucking ugly in manor and tone are women so simple? Surely not, its bad enough I get asked to go dancing with my friends girlfriend, but being dissed by a call center pleb was nearly enough to bring on he red mist. Especially after two day super hard graft. I did have one new experience today,I had my first ever KFC meal. The IT managers girlfriend bought it for us which was pretty good to be honest I was getting hungry. However no exercise and a KFC I a on a dark path :(

I drank two bottles of Belgium beer tonight so my head is mashed. I also watched a film called the children of men about a future with no babies, its quiet scary guessing what England maybe. I hope it doesnt come to that, I would like to have some kids one day, if I find the right partner.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Oh Yeah

Some days things just don't go to plan, and unfortunately today was one of them. Everything started as usual I got up went to work, spent the morning working on a project to optimise some programs. At lunch time I came home and ate lunch with my parents, I got back to work on time at 1.30 then the bomb dropped, the big boss man at the customer had decided some work needed to be ready for Monday. The first I had heard of this work was yesterday when I was asked for a vague time estimate on producing a cu t down mortgage application, I had suggested it would take two days. That gave me less than half a day to complete the work, and get it tested, impossible.

After speaking to my boss I was persuaded that I was the only member of the team available (there is also another software roll-out at another customer happening on Monday). All this work related nonsense means I had to cancel my trip out with the boys, Paul sounded particularly annoyed with me. I find it hard to balance my career and social life. As Paul said I am not a director but if I had not have agreed one of my colleagues would have had to do the job, and I know they would not have thanked me for it as I would not I the position were reversed.

Its hard trying to make your way in this world nobody can tell you what the best thing to do is. I am trying to make a career; the problem is I am not sure if I am a model employee worthy or a promotion / pay rise. Or am I just another part of the machine downtrodden and ignored. All I know is all I have is my own efforts, there is nobody to bail me out, I cannot afford to take a big gamble and lose.

Anyway's, I hope everyone has a good weekend, albeit one without me joining in the fun. My weekend will be spent designing screens. I did manage to go to the gym tonight but have ruined the good intentions somewhat by starting back up on the beer. There were some cans in the fridge left over from the pre Christmas party at Jo's. It has been a month since I last had a drink and all the time they were sat in the fridge begging to be consumed.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Annie

My blogs have been a bit dull recently, I am afraid I think this is a by-product of me cutting back for January and staying tee total. However January is now over so I can have a beer again. more good news is that the trip down to Paul's is definitely on. So this weekend should be great llaugh as, myself Woller Ian and Paul out in Royal Leamington Spa :)

Upgraded the mono engine at work this morning, it went pretty well which was very lucky really its needed for a new project.

Managed 30 minutes running at 10km/h which I thought was pretty impressive for me, I was totally knackered on the cooldown I nearly walked straight out of the gym. I have meant to do a weights session but my arm is still bruised from donating blood.

I found out that on Firefox for Linux and Mac you can type define:word into the address box and it does a dictionary lookup rather than a websearch very clever. I also managed finally to get British English dictionaries on so no more red wavy lines under colour ;)

I spent this evening tussling with Ian' smartphone. It is a Sony P910, the same model as some the guys at work have, we managed to get Imap email working and with a bit of messing about I even made the sync software play ball. Its actually quiet a feature rich phone, though I don't really like the flip bit I certainly thinks it one of the best smart phones at least until the Apple i-phone comes out.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Entropy

Had the most difficult Japanese class this evening basically had to write ask and understand only in Japanese a list of 25 things from radio to chocolate. It was very confusing. I spoke to some of the others they also found it difficult, so at least I wasn't. I think that Emi, our teacher likes to keep think moving at a fair pace. I think her expectation we will pick things up or give up.

After class I had the pleasure of meeting Nick and Mike for a drink. I stuck to diet coke, its still January after all. It was good to see Mike it has been a while. Ever since he became a father I have seen him only infrequently so it is always quiet fun having a chat. Nick was tired as usual, he has been having trouble with his lettings one of them caught fire after a tenet feel asleep holding a lit cigarette.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Higher than reason

I spend a lot of time contemplating things, probably far more than is healthy to be honest. I have always found thinking easier than action, unless the action is to think of course. A lad at work was talking about houses today, it came up after I stumbled upon then 1000 / month article. He travels everyday from St Helens. He is in a similar situation to me commuting to Accrington in my previous job. He is looking to buy somewhere closer which is cool trouble is he is 3 years younger. I guess it makes me feel a little left behind. Stupid I know life is only ever a race against oneself not others.

I need to take some action stop being a stay at home boring nothing, I have hardly done anything this month. Though to be honest, I seem to have timed it so all my big bill hit in January not the best planning ever. I will have to raid some of my savings accounts in order to pay for everything. I guess on the positive side at least I have savings, rather than having to get into debt.

I have now been alcohol free for nearly a month to be honest I am looking forward to having a drink soon! I would have saved money except I spent it on Amazon buying books to try to learn about web services. Unfortunately, they mostly sit on my shelf unread. I only ever really use them for reference I am falling into my dads trap.

I managed to have a bit of a chat to Lulu today; she is still addicted to World of Warcraft and prison break! Oh someone asked my why she is called Lulu its not a very Chinese name and you would be right it isn't as I understand its an anglicised name as the Chinese doesn't go into English very well (hope that is correct ;)

Why I'll never own a house

A BBC Story reports that house prices will rise by an average of £1000 per month during 2007. Thats way more than I can save and already the prices are out of reach.

Facebookage

After having a long boring chat with one of my clients about how their website wasn't working and that I should refund them for months despite the fact they never bothered to mention it I was feeling slightly annoyed. So I decided to do some shameless self publication and set up a profile on Facebook. It is another of the (in)famous Web 2.0 sites with plenty of community content primarily focussed on University/ College graduates creating groups of friend for people from the same University or area. Its a lot more slickly designed than myspace I especially liked the fact you can embed the rss feed from other blogs rather than being forced to use the Facebook one. So far i only have a few friends so if there are any other Facebook users reading this please feel free to add me.

I had basically a geeky day in fact apart from going for a swim (for the first time in months) I mostly spent the day upgrading SuSE on my works laptop 10.2 is great it even does the power management properly (provided I add a few extra modules to the autoload). I also tried to get the new server up and running but it still refuses to boot, I think its cursed to be honest.

Someone took it upon themselves to give me a major dressing down for living at home, and not being married yet. It was quiet depressing and they had a point but what am I meant to do, I can't really see a point in moving out to a really crap area where I would have a constant struggle affording to live. As for the lack of relationships I am working on it, just I haven't been able to meet the right person yet.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Fussy Fish

My fish have turned into gourmets; a few weeks ago, I bought the more expensive food because the cheap one was out of stock. After consuming it, the Oscars are refusing to eat the cheap variety. It is going to end up costing me twice as much to feed them now, and I wasted £13 buying a tub of the cheap food. I find it raterh funny how the fish have personality. I mean not the same way as humans do, but still they have individual characteristics.

I stayed in and watched a film with Bruce and Phil this evening. Called Severance the film was a cheap British slasher. Focusing on a group of weapons company employees on a team building retreat in Eastern Europe. It was quiet entertaining shot in a post-modern ironic style lampooning some of the horror conventions whilst keeping a certain level of tension. I especially liked the Russian chicks with guns scene after the British person could not work out how to fire a rifle.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Endgame

Listening to a song [endgame] Jo gave me apparently its one of his friends songs I quite like it. The sone is an ambient electronic track with a female singer, its a little overlong but otherwise quiet a pleasent song.

Today I have had two meals out :) bad me, I gave blood good me and I sorted out some bits and bobs for Ian.

The first meal out was lunch with my dad and my great auntie, since my great uncle died my dad often goes round to see her she was in a fine mood today having a joke about Harold Shipman of all things.

After work I went to a blood drive at the parish hall, I missed my last session as it was timed to be the night of Sandbox's last gig. It was quiet; the quietest I have ever been too, the nurse told me the earlier session had been manic though. The donation went ok though the nurse bruised my arm a little. When I went for a cup of tea afterwards one women's arm started bleeding badly, the nurses rushed into action and it was soon sorted out but was scary for a moment.

For dinner I went out with my parents and my mums friend Kath to the La Quila for a curry, as usual the food was excellent though the services was a little sub par. The waiter forgot some of our order and seemed to have selective hearing when I was asking for some water.

Ian bobbed round this evening; I only just beat him back from my meal. He wanted his website loaded onto his laptop (and my Apple) so that people coming to a show he was doing could view the site whilst getting a drink. Contrast, on Ian's laptop had to download and install a web-server to load serve his website whereas on the Apple on the Mac had to click one button to turn on web sharing and copy the files on. I could not find a way to make safari go full screen though that was a bit of a blow.