This evening I watched the film March of the Penguins. I is not quiet as good as a decent David Attenborough program but not far off well worth a watch if you like nature programs. The penguins have a kind of quiet majesty about them. Serene in the lifestyle totally geared towards the survival of the species. I guess that is life. Its all about the survival of the species damn happiness, sadness joy and pain in the end its only the species that really matters.
I heard on the radio that elephants joined a select group of animals; in that they are self aware they recognise their own reflection like humans, grate apes and dolphins. Strange really to think such ability as to see ones own reflection is actually an evolutionary masterpiece.
Today I my colleague looked as stressed as I felt last week, this time his domain was crashing about his ears whilst his colleagues were away. I did my best to help but it just shows how overstretched the systems part of the business is really relying on a few key people is a sure sign of problems.
I was speaking to someone on ICQ this evening who thinks I should be grateful for everything I have. I tried to explain that life is in the end all down to perception. Yes things are great compared to people in the developing world who have to worry about the next meal, but in the end that's not whom I will compare myself against. I look towards my peers and compared to them I am doing very poorly. Further I don't believe I am meant to be happy that's simply a mistruth our reason for living isn't to be happy but simple to perpetuate the species unfortunately on that level too I am not doing very given the distinct lack of a partner, oh well.
Fortunately I was saved from the depths of the conversation by Phil on his return from Aikido. We went for a couple of drinks and had a chat about work and life, things are going well for him since leaving his job he seems to have picked up some decent works as a contractor which is great makes me think long and hard about doing the same. At the moment I feel like my career is stalled I am a trainee developer who has only ever had 8 days of training. Despite many promises I am still doing exactly the same support role as the day I started. Just this week some contractor got hired to do the sort of work I want to be involved with on over £300 a day. I don't expect that but wouldn't it make sense to train me too? I guess not to my boss.