Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Lies damn lies and blogs

I must admit at times I am a terrible liar, I lie at work so I can be lazy, I lie to people about where Ive been or am going to, usually its just a case of me protecting my private life (I guess pretty much an odd thing for someone who runs a blog but hey I never claimed t be a simple person). I guess the person I lie most often to is myself, I have pretty strong belifes that sometimes just to get through the day I need to justify things to myself. Once upon a time I was convinced I could do something with my life be positive but somewhere on the way after many compromises I sit here and well I havent and the sa fact is I probably nver will.
You might at this point dear reader be slightly confused about this post why should I be talking about lies, well the reason is one of my lies became undone because of this very blog!
Over the last few weeks I have been seeing in a casual sense two women Liz and Nikkie, neither was serious in fact Nikkie very much didnt want anything serious, I did however quiet like Nikkie enough to want to see what happened well if you read the last post you know what that was. I digress however in a nutshell I had lied to Liz about what I was doing this weekend in order to have a free schedual I justified this that hey we werent serious it wont matter (see what I mean about lieing to myself, ifs not a character trait I like). Anyway the long and short of it is she read my blog and cofronted me and well I had no excuses.
I should have been honest but I wasnt in fact today I wa completing a survey about morality it asked what I would do if I saw people committing an illegal act whether I would respond, I longed to say would but in my heart I knew that I am a coward and although I like to talk about doing great deeds I would probably walk on by.
The only positives things from day were actully being honest with Liz and going for a cycle, my shouldr hurt during the night though so maybe I even overdid that.
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