Today was a long day, in the morning I braved the rain and cold to go help Jo and Holly in the allotment. I missed the last few sessions and I noticed a real difference since the last time I ventured over, thought like my house what is left seems to dwarf what has been done. I always think there allotment is a weird oasis in shut off from the rest of the neighbourhood. I would never even imagine is was there a few minutes away from Broom Lane. I spent my time digging over one bed 2 hours later I managed to dig over 1/4 of a bed. It was really hard labour after the first hour I was already tiring, I guess I am not used to manual labour. The biggest problem isn't digging through the dirt though, its all the rubbish and crap in the dirt, which makes the digging more difficult. It was rainy and cold a few hours was the most we could stand. After a cup of tea I went back home for lunch they to my house to do some more wiring. I half expected to find Nick there, he told me he would be, I guess his other jobs ran over again. I really need to choose a kitchen this week, difficult though as my budget was consumed having to change cars. I managed with my dads help to get another socket wired in and a few bits done before fatigue took over. I had been planning to go visit Martina afterwards but I felt too tired.
I feel very tired and low tonight, there seems to be an insurmountable oath ahead of me, and I feel very alone to face what is ahead. I guess my birthday and the goings on t the work are all piling up on me. I find it hard to let go, but I need to more, find peace.