Sunday, April 08, 2007

24 Days to go

I don't feel great tonight I was going to write another self indulgent post but I need to move beyond it. Earlier today P hugged me goodbye and I didn't know how to react. I know that I have never been a tactile person, but I had not realised how detached from people I have become. I told B that I could no longer imagine being in a relationship, and I was completely true. Standing on the dance floor on Thursday I realised I was afraid of approaching people. I think the fear of rejection has completely consumed me to the point where interaction with women outside my social circle is impossible. I am able to be friends with the girlfriends of my friends but not to communicate with a potential girlfriend. I think I have stayed too long and played life too safe I need to wake myself up, the problem is that I don't know how.
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